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Just Sayin
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Florida
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Confused Jul 25, 2019 at 06:41 AM
  #1
I’ve been married to the same man for 26 years and I am very aware of his ‘patterns of behavior’ along with all his idiosyncrasies. His family history does include anxiety, depression and OCD and 15 years ago he had been on meds for anxiety himself for about 6 years.
My husband has always been extremely close to his father (more so than his mother who passed away two years ago at 89) His father is in pretty good health for being 96 years old and lives up north. I’ve noticed over the past 8+ months or so a definite change in my husbands personality (which I find somewhat disturbing)... he’s been taking on more physical mannerisms of his father.... body language, physical gestures, manner of speech... it’s like he’s turning into a ‘carbon copy’ of his father and I’m seeing less of my husband and more of his father...?
Is this “personality modification” due to his obsessive worry about losing his dad? and will I get “my husband” back eventually or are these changes here to stay?!
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Skeezyks
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Smile Jul 25, 2019 at 01:37 PM
  #2
Hello Just Sayin: Welcome to Psych Central. I don't have the answers to your questions. I suppose it's possible your husband's "personality modification" could be due to excessive worry over his losing his dad. But I doubt there's any way to know for sure. Questions such as these are of the kind for which people sometimes see mental health therapists. Will you get your husband back? My personal perspective would be only time will tell. (Perhaps other members will have some insights they will wish to share.)

Here are links to 3 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on what to do when your spouse changes. Perhaps something in them can be of some help:

Change in Relationships: What to Do When Your Partner Changes

Marriage Myth: Spouses Can't Change

When One Person Changes in a Relationship

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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mmd-man
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Default Aug 05, 2019 at 08:34 AM
  #3
Hard to know what he is thinking.

Maybe he likes to do it.

Maybe the change was naturally.

Are his new behaviors so bad ?

Can you talk with him ? And say "hey, you are doing the things your dad do, have you notice it ?"
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