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n12345
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Default Aug 04, 2019 at 09:10 PM
  #1
Hello all,
My mom is 60+ and diagnosed with bipolar depression. She has not taken medication or sought treatment in about two years. Although we've tried what we feel is everything, she has not budged and will not leave the house. Recently, she has developed a rash on her stomach that is not getting any better. After trying her own treatments at home, nothing is working and the rash is getting worse. She is refusing to seek medical help and we're all worried this rash is something serious (someone mentioned shingles).
My dad asked me to speak to to her- what could I possibly say to try to convince her to go to the doctor? I've been trying to convince her to get help for her mental health for two years. I don't feel very hopeful she's going to say yes to this either.
I know I'm planning on saying something along the lines of "I feel worried about you" and "I'm here for you, I'm here to help"...
What do I say without making her feel bad? Do I keep nagging her about it everyday until she agrees? I don't want to make her feel like a child. I know everyone is different, but does someone have any guildelines how I should go about this- from the conversation to follow up?
Thank you.
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sarahsweets
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Default Aug 05, 2019 at 02:50 AM
  #2
I know this may not be the exact situation you are dealing with but I did some google searches for your state and came upon this:Guardianship Frequently Asked Questions -
About Us

It deals mostly with the disabled and mental health care. Does your mom receive disability? I know its an extreme step but if her life is in danger and if she has a rash that goes untreated it very well could be, its something to consider.

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~Christina
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Default Aug 06, 2019 at 02:37 AM
  #3
Are your parents still married ?

Does your Mom go about life and take care of herself ? Daily hygiene, cooking, cleaning ??

Honestly if she had a shingles rash she would be in horrible horrible pain with blisters. Just what I have seen working medical my whole life. My Dad has it during chemo therapy and he was a very tough guy but he was in tears over it and on very strong pain meds.

The only thing you can really do is be there for her, offer to go to the Doctors with her.

Hope she allows you to help her

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unaluna
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Default Aug 06, 2019 at 05:04 AM
  #4
Have you tried an online doctor? There may be one available thru your insurance provider, or maybe try Dr Phil's Dr On Demand? Not sure if that still exists, but i did use my blue cross online dr app for a simple bladder infection recently. First you fill out a request form online, then they call you on the phone.
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Skeezyks
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Smile Aug 06, 2019 at 02:27 PM
  #5
I wonder if the rash on your mom's stomach might be shingles? I haven't had it (I've gotten the shingles vaccine.) But I recall many years ago my maternal grandmother had it. It's not a life-threatening condition that I know of. But it can be extremely painful. And as I understand it, it often first appears around the area of the waist.

Here are links to 3 articles, from PC's archives, that (hopefully) may give you some ideas on what to say plus 1 that talks about what not to:

How to Persuade Your Loved One to Seek Professional Help

11 Ways to Help a Loved One in Denial

10 Things You Should Say to a Depressed Loved One

What Not to Say to a Depressed Person


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