advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Teesai
New Member
Teesai has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2019
Location: LA
Posts: 3
3 yr Member
1 hugs
given
Default Aug 12, 2019 at 12:22 AM
  #1
How do you communicate with a bipolar?

How do you persuade a bipolar? What language style do you use?

How do you get them to continue taking their medicine when you are not physically with them?

This is in regards to my daughter. Like the title says, she can't maintain a dwelling or a job, she eventually gets kicked out. This has become such a huge burden on us. But when she is on her medication, she functions normally. The thing is...if I am not there making sure she is taking them, she is not going to take them. Even though she can see the harm that is being caused by not taking them. And this is a grown woman, not a child.

I don't know how to reason with her.

Plz help!
Teesai is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, fern46

advertisement
fern46
Grand Magnate
fern46 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
5 yr Member
4,300 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 12, 2019 at 12:08 PM
  #2
Hi Tessai, I am sorry you are going through this. Welcome to PC.

It is difficult to watch a family member continue to struggle when you know there are healthier alternatives. I had to suffer through that with my mother. Luckily I learned from her mistakes and chose a different path when I was diagnosed years later.

This is a minor thing, but I wouldn't call your daughter a bipolar. Some folks here take offense to that and she may as well. Just food for thought.

You mentioned your daughter is a grown woman. The sad truth is you may have to let her figure out she needs to be on meds on her own. Like an addict that needs to hit rock bottom before they quit, she may have trouble grasping the severity of her disorder if you bail her out. It would be difficult to watch, but sometimes it is the only way.

In the event you want to keep trying and stay a part of her life while she cycles, I would suggest doing some research. There are a lot of good books out there for family members of those with bipolar disorder. I read Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder. Each chapter has a special section for family members. It will help you to better understand what your daughter is going through, why she continues to make poor life choices, and what you can do to support her.

I hope things improve for you and your family soon.
fern46 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341
 
Thanks for this!
tecomsin, ~Christina
Moose72
Silver Swan
 
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,415 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
2,512 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 12, 2019 at 12:42 PM
  #3
Quote:
This is a minor thing, but I wouldn't call your daughter a bipolar. Some folks here take offense to that and she may as well. Just food for thought.
This was my thought, too, when reading the original post. Makes me feel like some sort of alien species.

__________________
Wellbutrin XL 300 mg
Caplyta 42 mg
Ingrezza 80 mg
Ativan .5 mg 2x/day
Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day

Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Mania (April/May 2019)
Moose72 is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341
 
Thanks for this!
tecomsin
tecomsin
Magnate
tecomsin has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: canada
Posts: 2,007
5 yr Member
736 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 12, 2019 at 01:07 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teesai View Post
How do you communicate with a bipolar?

How do you persuade a bipolar? What language style do you use?

How do you get them to continue taking their medicine when you are not physically with them?

This is in regards to my daughter. Like the title says, she can't maintain a dwelling or a job, she eventually gets kicked out. This has become such a huge burden on us. But when she is on her medication, she functions normally. The thing is...if I am not there making sure she is taking them, she is not going to take them. Even though she can see the harm that is being caused by not taking them. And this is a grown woman, not a child.

I don't know how to reason with her.

Plz help!
I think you are asking the wrong questions. Instead of asking how to communicate with 'a bipolar', you could ask instead how to communicate with your daughter.

Why do you think communicating with 'a bipolar' would be different than communicating with someone without this disorder?

__________________
BP 1 with psychotic features
50 mg Lyrica
50 mcg Synthroid
2.5 mg olanzapine
tecomsin is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341
Victoria'smom
Legendary
 
Victoria'smom's Avatar
Victoria'smom has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 14,880 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
5,415 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 12, 2019 at 01:19 PM
  #5
Is loosing her housing for financial reasons? Are injections an option? I'm not good at taking medication either. I currently take 1 dissoluble pill a day. It's not enough but it's better then nothing. Is she in therapy? She needs a good therapist. Public housing may be her best bet.

__________________
Dx:
Me- SzA
Husband- Bipolar 1
Daughter- mood disorder+


Comfortable broken and happy

"So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk
My blog
Victoria'smom is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341
Blueberrybook
Magnate
 
Blueberrybook's Avatar
Blueberrybook has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,899
5 yr Member
78 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 12, 2019 at 01:22 PM
  #6
I also agree with not calling your daughter “a bipolar” or of thinking of her that way too, like ,”Oh, she’s a bipolar, no wonder she did xyz...”. Out of curiosity, how old is she?

Bipolar people are people first and not a disease. I don’t go around thinking of myself as “a bipolar” but a person first. Usually someone undeserving. and worthless, but still a person, a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter. In some cases, a lot of the time, yes bipolar permeates my life, though I do take my meds to most or all extent.

Here’s what is the downside: side effects, for me fatigue. I cannot function through the fatigue on Seroquel and Trazodone. There is lack of creativity, feeling “numb”, the great feeling of hypomania. Generally, and this is just me, I can’t claim other bipolar people function like this, but if I am on meds and depressed and stop taking them, I sleep less. The less I sleep, the more manic I get. But mania feels so much better than depression until I crash and burn.

I cannot hold a job either. I am 41 years old. I usually end up in or near hospitalization whenever I try to work. I think the longest I lasted at any job was 3 months after I was through with school.

I graduated high school valedictorian, granted a class of 109 students but an excellent small school district. I graduated summa cum laude with all A’s and one B in a tough major, microbiology, at Texas A&M University (main campus, a huge student body). I had better grades than most pre-med students. I went to graduate school, got an M. S. in Cell & Molecular Biology (had to work as an RA/TA, peanuts for pay). I wrote articles in well respected journals in my field, my first author publication gaining quite a few citations in other scientific papers over the years.

I went into adult life with a lot of potential. I still know there is value in being a good mother and wife, and I have had to shift my expectations. I know I need to continue working on myself. I am a work in progress, and I am doing the best I can. Bipolar disorder is like being a parent in that no one can understand what it is like until you go through it yourself.

Is your daughter in therapy? Usually that goes along with meds though I haven’t really found a good therapist and stop going when I feel like it is doing nothing. But I have a lot of issues...see listed diagnoses.

Also, don’t think meds are a 100% cure or even close. They get me off the ground, functional, but no medication works 100%. If meds and therapy alone worked completely for bipolar, this forum wouldn’t need to be here.

__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Seroquel, Cymbalta, , propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, omeperazole

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
--Robert Frost

Last edited by Blueberrybook; Aug 12, 2019 at 01:55 PM..
Blueberrybook is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
~Christina
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
12.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 12, 2019 at 03:24 PM
  #7
I agree with the other that have gently explained about the use of the word “Bipolar” so no need for me to add onto that.

Many people young or old struggle when diagnosed, there lots of denial about having Bipolar, the stigma and uneducated masses can really make it hard for a person to accept there illness and fully commit to getting treatment and staying on it.

No one can force a person to take medication unless there is a court order, even if she was placed in a inpatient setting she could refuse certain medications even there , although most places are able to get people on something , but its job totally up to them to continue out in the real world.

My advice just be her Mom , don’t nag her about Bipolar... maybe take her to lunch and just talk about other stuff , maybe memories of fun vacations or whatever, just leave Bipolar totally out if it.

She might be one that truly needs to hit bottom, she alone is the only one who can truly commit to getting help and doing the work. Meds and a good Therapist can really make a huge difference , but she needs to take that step.

As for you being a mom and feeling helpless? I honestly think you might want to look into seeing a Therapist yourself to help understand how to help her BUT more so how to get yourself mentally healthy while dealing with her. You have to protect your own mental health and well being.

I wish you both luck

__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
~Christina is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341
 
Thanks for this!
fern46, luvyrself
Anonymous46341
Guest
Anonymous46341 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Aug 12, 2019 at 04:37 PM
  #8
I think you've received a lot of great responses here, Teesai. In fact, the only other thing I could really think of was what Christina said just above. Perhaps maybe you may need therapy in order to better cope with the realities of your daughter's illness and lack of compliance. This is a common suggestion to loved ones of addicts. Yes, it is extremely similar to that.

She must want to get better, herself. There comes a time where you must stop enabling her ill behavior. It's surely extremely difficult, but almost always for the best. As others said above, she's got to hit a bottom if that's what it takes for her.

There are many parents, spouses, and other loved ones who have to eventually say:

"I love you, so I can't go on enabling your self destruction. Please realize what you are doing is harmful and get help. Only you (the ill one) can make long-lasting changes for the better."

As an end note. I have a history of alcohol abuse, as well as having bipolar disorder. I don't like when people say "alcoholics", nor do I like "bipolars". Please don't let your daughter's disorder define her. I know to some this all may seem picayune, but it is important. Language matters! Some language choices can perpetuate stigma, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, sexism, and similar, even if unintentionally.

Last edited by Anonymous46341; Aug 12, 2019 at 04:51 PM..
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
~Christina
Teesai
New Member
Teesai has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2019
Location: LA
Posts: 3
3 yr Member
1 hugs
given
Default Aug 13, 2019 at 08:46 AM
  #9
Wow! Thank you so very much all for your inputs. It's absolutely beautiful coming back to my post and seeing all these responses.

My apologies for using the word "bipolar". Didn't know it was a taboo word. I mean, this forum where we are communicating is called bipolar, so I never realized it was not OK to use the word.

Can I ask what I can replace the word with?

For instance...how would you rephrase..."how do you communicate with a bipolar?"
Teesai is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
luvyrself
Poohbah
 
luvyrself's Avatar
luvyrself has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,280
8 yr Member
136 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 13, 2019 at 10:26 AM
  #10
There are always many facets to a complicated issue. You can use the phrases “your challenges”or “your mood challenges”or “your mood issues” if you are squeamish. However,some of the most talented people in history were bipolar; I hope she knows that. Maybe you should research that yourself. Some of our (Blueberrybook, BirdDancer, my LOL) brilliant intelligence is from the bipolar, I am sure. I am proud of my bipolar despite all the stigma caused by prejudiced people and all the challenges it causes me.

__________________
Bipolar 2 with anxious distress
mixed states & rapid cycling under severe stress
tegretol 200 mg
wellbutrin 75 mg, cut in half or higher dose as needed
Regular aerobic exercise
SKILLSET/KNOWLEDGE BASE:
Family Medical Advocate
Masters in Library Science
Multiple Subject Teaching Credential-15 yrs in public schools

Last edited by luvyrself; Aug 13, 2019 at 12:28 PM..
luvyrself is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
fern46
Grand Magnate
fern46 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
5 yr Member
4,300 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 13, 2019 at 12:36 PM
  #11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teesai View Post
Wow! Thank you so very much all for your inputs. It's absolutely beautiful coming back to my post and seeing all these responses.

My apologies for using the word "bipolar". Didn't know it was a taboo word. I mean, this forum where we are communicating is called bipolar, so I never realized it was not OK to use the word.

Can I ask what I can replace the word with?

For instance...how would you rephrase..."how do you communicate with a bipolar?"
Of course you can ask. Thanks for being open to feedback.

Maybe look past the bipolar part and say 'how would you communicate with your daughter?'

Or... 'how would you comminicate with someone who has bipolar disorder?'

It is semantics, but I think it is less about using the word bipolar and more about using it as a label. Being bipolar is an aspect of your daughter's life, but calling her 'a bipolar' makes it seem like her defining trait. Bipolar isn't a taboo word. The issue lies in how it is used and whether or not using it that way is an indicator of how you define your daughter.
fern46 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Teesai
 
Thanks for this!
Teesai
Teesai
New Member
Teesai has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2019
Location: LA
Posts: 3
3 yr Member
1 hugs
given
Default Aug 14, 2019 at 06:28 AM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by fern46 View Post
Of course you can ask. Thanks for being open to feedback.

Maybe look past the bipolar part and say 'how would you communicate with your daughter?'

Or... 'how would you comminicate with someone who has bipolar disorder?'

It is semantics, but I think it is less about using the word bipolar and more about using it as a label. Being bipolar is an aspect of your daughter's life, but calling her 'a bipolar' makes it seem like her defining trait. Bipolar isn't a taboo word. The issue lies in how it is used and whether or not using it that way is an indicator of how you define your daughter.
I get what you are saying. Thanks for clarifying. Unfortunately, bipolar is her predominant defining trait atm. It is not how I define her though.
Teesai is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
tecomsin
Magnate
tecomsin has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: canada
Posts: 2,007
5 yr Member
736 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 14, 2019 at 12:41 PM
  #13
Do you see a difference between calling someone 'a bipolar' vs. saying someone 'has bipolar disorder'?

__________________
BP 1 with psychotic features
50 mg Lyrica
50 mcg Synthroid
2.5 mg olanzapine
tecomsin is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 15, 2019 at 09:32 AM
  #14
I am a 'bipolar' and my daughter is a 'bipolar' and we communicate using Klingon.

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
unaluna
 
Thanks for this!
unaluna
unaluna
Elder Harridan x-hankster
 
unaluna's Avatar
unaluna Female luna moth - Please, dont @mention me?Thanks!
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,751 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
66k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 15, 2019 at 11:46 AM
  #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I am a 'bipolar' and my daughter is a 'bipolar' and we communicate using Klingon.
That WOULD explain a lot about the Klingons, now that you mention it!
unaluna is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
sarahsweets
luvyrself
Poohbah
 
luvyrself's Avatar
luvyrself has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,280
8 yr Member
136 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 15, 2019 at 06:12 PM
  #16
The problem here is not what words you are using. Does she have a therapist,a psychiatrist,medications? It sounds like her meds are wrong or she is having pretty severe episodes. Is she bp1 or bp2? Is she using drugs or alcohol? Why is she acting out like this? Maybe she should be hospitalized until they stabilize her.
The members of this forum have such vast experience. We cant substitute for the professionals, but we cant help if you dont really give any details. I know it’s a tough situation.

__________________
Bipolar 2 with anxious distress
mixed states & rapid cycling under severe stress
tegretol 200 mg
wellbutrin 75 mg, cut in half or higher dose as needed
Regular aerobic exercise
SKILLSET/KNOWLEDGE BASE:
Family Medical Advocate
Masters in Library Science
Multiple Subject Teaching Credential-15 yrs in public schools
luvyrself is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:00 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.