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Mbluish
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Default Sep 25, 2019 at 08:27 AM
  #1
My husband has been suffering from depression. He says it’s not me, but then says things for me to conclude that it is me. He’s not happy in our home, the city we live in, where he works, with my parents and his parents. He is out of town now on business and had a few drinks last night. He called me and talked about how happy he was there (and also broke down because of his depression). He’s mentioned a couple times in the past month that he thinks he needs to live on his own for awhile to see where his head is. I just don’t know what to do. He doesn’t want to go to therapy with me as it’s in therapy already on his own. He wants to get through that and doesn’t think you can focus on therapy with me right now. We’ve been married 25 years. I don’t know what to do. I just don’t see that her moving out is the best solution. Am I wrong?
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Default Sep 25, 2019 at 03:01 PM
  #2
It sounds like he wants an escape...no obligations, no expected role to play, no connections with people in his life. I would be concerned about him trying to handling this on his own too. I wish I had an answer. Maybe you could 'move out' together. Get away, but with you beside him.

Sorry you are going through this.
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Default Sep 27, 2019 at 01:29 PM
  #3
I just wanted to say that you should know it’s not your fault. The way that he’s acting and the things that he is saying are not originating from anything that you have done. You don’t deserve to be made to feel like you are responsible for the way that he is feeling. I don’t think that he says these things to hurt you, but how could anyone not be hurt. I hope that you’re able to find a way to peace. What is it that you want? Do you want for him to stay? Do you think this may change? Is he willing to get on medication to help with his symptoms?
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Default Oct 04, 2019 at 03:54 AM
  #4
You are not responsible for his feelings- he is. I think if he wants to move out let him- but not without parameters set up so there is an end in sight. He cant have an open ended timeline for living somewhere else. He cant expect to have sex with you or for you to do any of the things you do now. He wants to live on his own? Then he takes care of himself. He still needs to contribute to your expenses, after he is choosing this lifestyle.

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