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Member Since Dec 2019
Location: Canada
Posts: 3
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#1
I'm desperate to get some guidance. I have a big issue with my spouse. For the longest time she used to think that half of our city was after her then everything changed into all kinds of spying conspiracy theory's she had about everyone around. I don't think I need to get into details but everything became very severe. Then within a period of two weeks all her delusions moved against me. She thinks I have been chiding on her with everyone and pretty much everywhere. Also she thinks I have been doing this for as long as we have been together. Also I was accused of steeling as well. Right now we have no friends, our family got isolated and she blames this on me as I was the person who slept with all our friends and that is why they alienated themselves from us. I suggested to her that she should see somebody. She talked to psychologist but she never mentioned that real issue, she was manipulating everything against me. She is refusing to go together. I understands that nobody will believe the stories she have about me. Also she thinks that those stories will make psychiatrist go crazy. Now the big question, how do I deal with this issue? We have kids and allot of this is said in front of them. I have no idea how to control this end where to get help. any suggestions? Thank you.
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Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
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#2
Hello cyclop: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.
I'm sorry you are struggling with this most difficult situation. Unfortunately I doubt there may be much you can do to control what's occurring with your spouse. (Perhaps other PC members will have some suggestions they'll wish to share.) I'm not a mental health professional. However, from what you wrote, it sounds to me as though your spouse is clearly in need of professional mental health services. But she has to be willing to avail herself of them. And if she is not there may be no way to force her. I do see, though, that you list yourself as being in Canada. I'm not familiar with the mental health laws there. Perhaps there may be options there I would not be aware of. One thing you may want to consider doing is to seek some mental health therapy services for yourself to help you to cope with your spouse's illness. And, depending on the ages of your kids, mental health services may be beneficial for them as well. Here are links to 10 articles, from Psych Central's archives. The first link is to an "Ask the Therapist" column where the writer was concerned about a family member who was avoiding treatment. The details are different from your situation. But I thought the therapist's reply was apropos. The second link is to an article that offers suggestions for helping a loved one who is in denial. The next 6 links are to articles that discuss how to cope with someone who has delusions. And the final link is to an article on the subject of schizophrenia. I don't know, of course, if that is what your spouse is struggling with. But I thought some of the information in the article (or the additional articles it provides links to) might be of interest: How Do You Help Someone Who Will Not Help Themself? - Ask the Therapist 11 Ways to Help a Loved One in Denial 10 Things You Should Know About Delusions | Caregivers, Family & Friends Coping With Your Loved One's Delusions | Caregivers, Family & Friends 8 Ways To Cope With Someone Who Has Delusions | Caregivers, Family & Friends https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...is-delusional/ https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...dium=popular17 https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...dium=popular17 https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...dium=popular17 https://psychcentral.com/schizophrenia/ I hope you find PC to be of benefit. __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
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#3
Get her into a psychiatrist for some meds....it’s the only thing effective for delusions.....
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New Member
Member Since Dec 2019
Location: Canada
Posts: 3
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#4
Thanks for the great info. I tried to mention help but it will not work with her. I don't think she will ever allow herself to see a psychiatrist, voluntarily it will be impossible. She plays semantics with psychologist so I think there is no use in that. I will for sure try to change my attitude towards the whole situation to regain her trust in me before I can make any suggestions of any kind.
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
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#5
Learn to fight in private. Suggest couples therapy.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
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#6
Hey @cyclop I think you should read up on the link I shared. It may be the only way she gets help.
Mental Health Act (Ontario - Wikipedia) __________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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#7
Quote:
NAMI has a family to family program in U.S. that can help educate a person about family members with mental health issues. Having a talk therapist can help you deal with a possibly very difficult relationship. Self care is very important so you do not get burnt out. Exercises or yoga, mindfulness, and eating healthy diet can all do things to help you feel more stable in an unstable relationship. @CANDC __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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New Member
Member Since Dec 2019
Location: Canada
Posts: 3
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#8
Yes, I'm aware of the possible outcomes. I have been dealing with this issue for quiet some time. Before my wife turned all her attention towards me she used to be obsessed about a guy from her work claiming he was stocking her. If I go back in time we had weird stuff going on for over 3 years now. I am still hanging in there trying to help her and our kids. Yes, I mountain bike as much as I can and I turned into a vegetarian recently. If it wasn't for that I don't think I would be able to keep my sanity. I could honestly say that last 6 months of my life were the hardest ever. Right now I'm also concerned that she might decide to start legal proceedings to end the marriage. I know that most of the individuals with this issue are unable to start the process but who knows how she thinks right now.
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