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PerplexedPartner
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Default Jan 25, 2020 at 07:43 PM
  #1
My partner is still in the diagnostic phase of treatment. After 7 years, many antipsychotics and a longer than usual course of ECT for deep depression and anxiety, his psychiatrist is only now being made aware of his long history of episodes with mania, grandiose thinking, paranoia, obsession, rage, destruction, pyromania, self-harming, and more, that he'd kept well under wraps from everyone (looking back, I am finally able to make sense of so much). His nature presents as quiet, shy and sweet, he speaks so neutrally that people fill in the details and answers to suit themselves. He has a gentle charm and is always smiling (I've been told more than once how he makes people feel so relaxed around him, one woman told me he is so peaceful he glows -- it's unnerving how often people comment about him to me while his reality is quite different) so he is very adept at hiding himself in plain sight. I am trying to learn what I can to help him. We have been married 30 years, the last 5 were very different than the first 25.
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MrsA
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Default Jan 25, 2020 at 11:23 PM
  #2
You sound very calm considering what you've gone through. I also have a family member who is charming in public and a raging and unhinged in private. The other day I accidentally came accross and article about a mass shooting and I was creeped out that people who knew the shooter said he often said the same sorts of things my family member often says at home.

I'm glad you partner is willing to get diagnosed. This is the first time I heard of anyone experiencing pyromania. Is it really scary for you?
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sarahsweets
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Default Jan 26, 2020 at 03:40 AM
  #3
Is there any reason your partner hides the "real" him from the professionals? Have any of them asked you what you see and experience with him?

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PerplexedPartner
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Default Jan 26, 2020 at 01:59 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsA View Post
You sound very calm considering what you've gone through. I also have a family member who is charming in public and a raging and unhinged in private. The other day I accidentally came accross and article about a mass shooting and I was creeped out that people who knew the shooter said he often said the same sorts of things my family member often says at home.

I'm glad you partner is willing to get diagnosed. This is the first time I heard of anyone experiencing pyromania. Is it really scary for you?
It's taken a few years to get to this stage, I was deeply traumatized for the first few years. It's been a nightmare and flipped my life upside down. I'm trying now to go forward and there is no clear path. He's on meds now and being more open but, yes, it is scary. It's all a bit surreal.
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Default Jan 27, 2020 at 12:39 AM
  #5
May I ask, did he change 5 years ago after suffering a trauma or after having a long/intense stent of insomnia?

My ex went insane after trauma and insomnia (from the trauma). He pulled out of it after about a year, but we both feared a relapse. I feel for you, I truly do. Having someone you love just change. It is not fair for them or for you.
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