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Ascension
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Default Mar 28, 2020 at 07:20 PM
  #1
I am in a relationship with a woman with borderline personality disorder and just looking for support. It's at times the most rewarding relationship I have been in but also, by far, the most challenging. I know her past so I understand why she is the way she is but it's incredibly tough sometimes.

She struggles to let me in and then when she does, and I start to think we are moving forward, she takes this giant step back and sometimes in very hard to cope with ways. Looking for others who are in the same position for support.

Any advice or resources or support would be welcomed.

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Default Mar 29, 2020 at 05:15 AM
  #2
You have to decide if its worth it, is it worth the steps backwards?

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Default Mar 31, 2020 at 05:49 PM
  #3
Hi Ascension. Sorry to hear the challenges you face in your relationship. It must not be easy being in a relationship with someone that keeps falling back into old patterns.

Part of going on is hoping that things will change. As years roll into decades in my own relationship, it is clearer now that things probably will not change with them. But I am changing and gaining patience to not react so easily to the frustration I feel with their actions.

For me what it comes down to is when I have spent so much time cultivating this relationship, am I really wanting to start all over again? With my luck I would probably pick the same type of person. Am I better off with a somewhat dysfunctional relationship that I know well rather than a whole new relationship with minefields that I do not even know where the mines are?

It is not easy, but when you get to a certain point of life, tolerating difficulty becomes more the norm.

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downandlonely
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Default Mar 31, 2020 at 05:52 PM
  #4
Is this woman getting help for her borderline personality disorder? I hear Dialectical Behavioral Disorder (DBT) can be very helpful, but of course the person has to be willing to put the work in.
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