[Sonflower]

I’m new. I treasure your comments and directions. My husband has undiagnosed mental illness. This, whatever illness or disorder it is, looks like delusional disorder with several types, is happening to a Christian and good man! He can’t see that he has wrong thinking. Since I started working outside if the home in 2015, he accuses me. I am faithful to him, married 32 years. I have no idea how long he has been suffering with this because I worked and stayed at home living a very simple calm life. Children and I feel helpless. I want our family to stay together but we are not sure how to live with him. I don’t think we are in real danger but have escape plan in place. We are cohabitating because he does not know who I am. I don’t know if it is wise to stay together as his situation affects poor decisions, actions, focus, money choices, health care... affecting all of us especially our girls! They have a hard time being angry at the illness and not their Dad.

[healingme4me]

Seeing that you are Christian, there's actually ways around the tiptpoeing of the fact that he sees no point in getting treatment.

How active and involved are you both with your Church? Around my region, there's so much available to couples and individuals. And a seeming growth in those members within the Church that do have trained expertise in MH.

How possible is it that that avenue can be explored? Could be an enriching possibility for your marriage.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Sonflower: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral. I'm sorry you are dealing with this most difficult situation.

There are some articles, in PsychCentra's archives, on the subject of delusions as well as on how to help someone who does not recognize they need help. Here are links to these articles:

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...out-delusions/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...is-delusional/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...nes-delusions/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...-to-encounter/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...has-delusions/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...hout-fighting/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...ional-beliefs/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...-to-delusions/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/tms/2...not-want-help/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...essional-help/

There is also a book I have seen recommended as being a "must read" for anyone who has a relative with mental illness who will not seek treatment. It is titled: I'm Not Sick, I Don't Need Help. (I believe it is available for purchase on Amazon.) Here's a link to a review of the book:

A review of "I'm not sick, I don't need help!" - Friends for Mental Health

Should you be planning to continue on, here on PC, you might consider introducing yourself to the general membership over on our New Members Introductions forum. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

One other forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the schizophrenia & psychosis forum which includes discussions related to delusional disorders. Here's a link to that forum:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/schi...nia-psychosis/

Lastly, you mentioned feeling as though you may at some point have to leave home for your girls' & your safety. One additional resource that may be worth checking out (if you're not already aware of it) is the National Domestic Violence Hotline:

Home - The National Domestic Violence Hotline

1 (800) 799-7233

I wish you all the very best...

[Sonflower]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Seeing that you are Christian, there's actually ways around the tiptpoeing of the fact that he sees no point in getting treatment.

How active and involved are you both with your Church? Around my region, there's so much available to couples and individuals. And a seeming growth in those members within the Church that do have trained expertise in MH.

How possible is it that that avenue can be explored? Could be an enriching possibility for your marriage.

Thank you for the reply and direction. I am currently looking for psychologist in our area that has late appointment availability. Our Pastor and his wife knows but no one else does. He encourages us to do counseling but we need much more than marriage and family counseling.

It's taking such a long time finding anyone.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Sonflower

Thank you for the reply and direction. I am currently looking for psychologist in our area that has late appointment availability. Our Pastor and his wife knows but no one else does. He encourages us to do counseling but we need much more than marriage and family counseling.

It's taking such a long time finding anyone.

I can relate to how long it takes when seeking treatment. I can fully appreciate knowing that individual counseling is important. I consider it such a game of hurry up and wait.