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SavageOwl
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Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: Latham
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Default Apr 03, 2018 at 09:00 AM
  #1
After years of therapy covering my parents taking my childhood to raise my three younger siblings, my father fat shaming me and having treatment for binge eating disorder, being thrown out of the house at 17....I finally took control of my eating disorder and weight. Yesterday my father in a conversation about my sister said he didn’t recall fat shaming us as children (his normal gaslighting behavior) and said he only recalled once shopping with me as a child and being ashamed to be seen with me because of my weight.

Like a pebble in my show it wore on my all day...I had a binge episode for the first time in years. It was confirmation of all the things I believed he thought of me for 40 years directly from him. Something broke in me and pulling the pieces together just doesn’t seem to be happening. I can rationalize it with the fact that he doesn’t love himself so how can he love me or any of my siblings? Still hurts. When parents who are supposed to love you unconditionally don’t...and just repeatedly hurt you it effects so much in your life.

Hoping everyone here understands. I’m lost.
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Smile Apr 07, 2018 at 06:39 PM
  #2
Hello Owl: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! May I suggest you introduce yourself to the general membership on our New Members Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

Here are links to a couple of articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of how to let go of past hurts. Perhaps they may be of some help:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/learni...ys-to-move-on/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/lettin...ful-over-time/

https://pro.psychcentral.com/recover...atic-memories/

I hope you find the time you spend here on PC to be of benefit.

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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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SavageOwl
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Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: Latham
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5 yr Member
Default Apr 13, 2018 at 06:59 AM
  #3
Thank you
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