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Old 01-07-2019, 10:55 AM #11
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Default Re: Sense of entitlement

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I dont know if I am the only one who sees this but I see her as entitled and abusive. Emotionally abusive for dumping you all the time (you are a little complicit due to the fact that you keep getting back to her). That kind of emotional back and forth is very harmful and very mean. Expecting you to be ok with handing her money and then bargaining for how she should pay you back is unacceptable. If I borrow money from a bank I do not get to pay it back in lolipops. I have to pay them back with money. You go out to eat and then at the end she asks if it counted towards paying you back so really you only got half your money back because she ate too. I would recommend you get in to see a therapist to figure out what is it about you that would allow you to put up with behavior like this from someone who is supposed to care about you. I would recommend trying to figure out a way to break up with her as painlessly as possible.
I agree with SarahSweets: your girlfriend's behavior toward you is emotionally abusive. You do not deserve to be treated that way and it is not your fault. Take good care of yourself.
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Old 01-07-2019, 11:43 AM #12
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I agree. For a long time I've been putting up with it because I know that she has an illness. But it always feels like she makes a mess of things and then blames me for the result. This latest incident for example, she has been saying how I suck for not "supporting" her through Christmas. For a start, I don't really know what that means, although I suspect she means financially? And secondly, how could I when she'd dumped me, wouldn't talk to me, and was calling me a bastard to anyone willing to listen.
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Old 01-07-2019, 01:08 PM #13
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Default Re: Sense of entitlement

I'm just tired of it all. Every week it the same thing. Yeah, I'm out.

Dramatic reenactment of a typical conversation:

ME:"Hi"
HER:"You're a bastard!"
ME:"What? Why are you being nasty?"
HER:"Oh! So I'm nasty! Could you be any more insulting?"
ME:"But you just called me a bastard for no reason?"
HER:"You ARE a bastard. You do nothing for me. You're abusive!"
ME:"You're the one being abusive by calling me a bastard"
HER:"No I haven't. You're delusional. You're such a liar."
ME:"It's literally written down".
HER:"Well, you should treat me better. Don't you know how hard my life is?"
ME: "Will you calm down?"
HER:"Why should I? I'm sick of you. You're selfish and a narcissist."
ME:"Oh my god! I only said hello."
HER:"Just ignore my issue why don't you. That's it, we're over! Duuuuuumped!"
ME: "Sigh"
HER:"I'm going to go out and find someone who's worthy of me. I've reopened my dating profile. Me and my friend are going out to the pub now that we're two single ladies."
ME:"Psycho. Do the world a favour and kill yourself."
HER:"And you say that you're not abusive. lolololololololol"
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Old 01-07-2019, 01:13 PM #14
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Default Re: Sense of entitlement

Wow this is very unhealthy . yes i think you should walk away and find someone better . she treats you very badly . however i don't think you should of told her to kill her self but understand you was frustrated how she treated you . i think she is used to getting her own way
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Old 01-07-2019, 01:51 PM #15
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Iím also without words after reading your last messages.
All I can say is think very well the plan you are gonna follow to get out of this relation for good and go to contact zero since you decide to leave.
She has to be convinced that she has nothing to do with you, no matter whatever try she makes to get you back.
Sheís even using the technique of triangulation when she tried to make you see that you could lose her for a third person.
Noone deserves being treat like that.

I also was shocked by what you told her about taking her own life away. If you think about it, itís one of the worst phrase that someone can say to another person. I understand that you said it in the heat of the moment and you didnít mean it but try to avoid these comments with her. Not only bc it would be a perfect argument for her to feel very hurt and angry, but also for you, yourself. If she would ever commit suicide or a try, you wonít ever forgive yourself.
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Old 01-07-2019, 02:00 PM #16
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Default Re: Sense of entitlement

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Originally Posted by AzulOscuro View Post
Iím also without words after reading your last messages.
All I can say is think very well the plan you are gonna follow to get out of this relation for good and go to contact zero since you decide to leave.
She has to be convinced that she has nothing to do with you, no matter whatever try she makes to get you back.
Sheís even using the technique of triangulation when she tried to make you see that you could lose her for a third person.
Noone deserves being treat like that.

I also was shocked by what you told her about taking her own life away. If you think about it, itís one of the worst phrase that someone can say to another person. I understand that you said it in the heat of the moment and you didnít mean it but try to avoid these comments with her. Not only bc it would be a perfect argument for her to feel very hurt and angry, but also for you, yourself. If she would ever commit suicide or a try, you wonít ever forgive yourself.
You're absolutely right. I would feel bad if something happened to her. She just pushes things so far with the insults, accusations, blackmail and gas lighting. The things is, she's not like that in person. When she's with me, she's nice, normal and someone I can respect and admire. But as soon as she leaves, this switch happens and this ugly person replaces her entire personality. It's why I've found it so hard to leave, because their is a better side to her.
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Old 01-07-2019, 02:11 PM #17
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Default Re: Sense of entitlement

I know it. Iím pretty much alike her. Thatís why I asked you if she somehow was noticing the bad of her behaviour and somewhat working on it. If not, go away. Itís the best you can do for you, and Iím gonna tell you, even for her...if there would be a hope for her to notice how she has to overcome her issues.
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Old 01-08-2019, 06:50 AM #18
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In my experience many women truly believe that itís menís job to take them on and fully support them one way or the other. They are just convinced that thatís how things need to be.

And I am not talking about somebody being even married to you or having kids with you and staying home with infants and relying on their spouse.

I am talking they expect it from all kind of random men, someone they just date or barely even know. Just because they are men. And itís not necessarily have anything to do with having BPD or any other disorders (although it is somewhat prevalent in my experience), I have met women with no disorders and they still had that expectation.

I donít know and donít understand where this kind of mindset comes from but itís unfortunately very common. I recommend staying away from such women. Her expectations of you and likely of all men is unrealistic and really skewed. Keep your distance please

Last edited by divine1966; 01-08-2019 at 07:12 AM.
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Old 01-08-2019, 01:35 PM #19
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Default Re: Sense of entitlement

Name-calling, threats, and suggestions that someone should end their life are not okay from either of you in any circumstance. Please take a step back Zehm. Take time for yourself. Talk to an experienced therapist. I hope you find some support and understanding. Please remember that when someone verbally abuses you, that does not make it okay for you to verbally abuse them. Two wrongs do not make a right. I also hope your girlfriend can get professional help on her own in order to find her peace too. I honestly don't think this relationship is healthy for either of you but that is just my opinion. If in doubt in life, choose the most peaceful path.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Zehm View Post
I'm just tired of it all. Every week it the same thing. Yeah, I'm out.

Dramatic reenactment of a typical conversation:

ME:"Hi"
HER:"You're a bastard!"
ME:"What? Why are you being nasty?"
HER:"Oh! So I'm nasty! Could you be any more insulting?"
ME:"But you just called me a bastard for no reason?"
HER:"You ARE a bastard. You do nothing for me. You're abusive!"
ME:"You're the one being abusive by calling me a bastard"
HER:"No I haven't. You're delusional. You're such a liar."
ME:"It's literally written down".
HER:"Well, you should treat me better. Don't you know how hard my life is?"
ME: "Will you calm down?"
HER:"Why should I? I'm sick of you. You're selfish and a narcissist."
ME:"Oh my god! I only said hello."
HER:"Just ignore my issue why don't you. That's it, we're over! Duuuuuumped!"
ME: "Sigh"
HER:"I'm going to go out and find someone who's worthy of me. I've reopened my dating profile. Me and my friend are going out to the pub now that we're two single ladies."
ME:"Psycho. Do the world a favour and kill yourself."
HER:"And you say that you're not abusive. lolololololololol"
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Old 01-08-2019, 01:39 PM #20
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Default Re: Sense of entitlement

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zehm View Post
You're absolutely right. I would feel bad if something happened to her. She just pushes things so far with the insults, accusations, blackmail and gas lighting. The things is, she's not like that in person. When she's with me, she's nice, normal and someone I can respect and admire. But as soon as she leaves, this switch happens and this ugly person replaces her entire personality. It's why I've found it so hard to leave, because their is a better side to her.
Consistency and stability are essential to any healthy relationship.
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