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annoynomous2
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Default May 11, 2019 at 11:14 AM
  #1
I believe my family member has falsely accused their ex spouse of a felony because they have borderline personality disorder. I recently bought this relative a book on the condition and they confirmed they were diagnosed BPD (as they have been involved in a multiple year court case).

Just recently the ex was arrested and is in jail. I believe the charges are made up but my relative who is very unhealthy (in pain from the abandonment of the divorce and affair the ex had).

Problem - I believe my relative could come after me, destroy my career and life if I disclose my thoughts on the matter. I thought about going to the defense but after speaking to their mother (who believes and supports the case) I will loose my entire family over this to save an innocent life I am not connected with. There is a child involved. The case involves false accusations of sexual abuse of their child on the ex and now this person has taken it to a whole new level and the ex is arrested.
What should I do? I love my relative but know she needs treatment and I do not want her to loose her child. I am sick with worry for my family but I cannot see an innocent person sent to prison (I was hoping the case would sort itself out on its own). How can I get someone who manipulates and lies and spins to seek treatment?

Thank you very much for any advise.
In Confidence,
Annoynomous

Last edited by atisketatasket; May 12, 2019 at 10:20 AM.. Reason: Guidelines
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WishfulThinker66
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Default May 12, 2019 at 10:58 AM
  #2
How would you know if this allegation is false or not? I would leave this to the authorities to figure out as that is their job. I am sorry that it is difficult to stand by and witness this without any control. It must be really difficult. But you cannot know what goes on behind closed doors. And please note that BPD doesn't make one do these things out of spite.
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Anonymous45634
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Default May 16, 2019 at 10:53 PM
  #3
if you have information that would help the case it is your duty to report that to the police. relationships be damned. it is a child's life you are talking about. forget the adults, they are not the real issue. the safety of a minor is. the claims must be believable enough for the other person to be detained.

if you have doubts, then go to the police. if she if falsifying the claims to the point the other party has been detained then that is severe as well. causing false imprisonment, especially on sex abuse charges is very dangerous.

as I said, the cause of concern is the safety of the minor. let the police deal with the mother to see if she is fabricating claims against the father (or who ever it is) . that is a sure way to unwind everything and make sure that in the long run the child is safe, no one is falsely imprisoned and perhaps she gets at least recognized for needing treatment.

to do nothing because you want the child to remain with the mother and leave the man detained, while you know there might be a false claim puts YOU at risk for police charges since you were aware of the issue. plus, just how could you live with yourself for allowing a perhaps innocent man to be detained and do nothing about it????? seriously.
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sarahsweets
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Default May 17, 2019 at 02:35 AM
  #4
I agree with @resurgam. It is the child you need to be concerned about. Not the mom, not the detained person. If the allegations are false then maybe down the line you can share what you know and let the authorities decide if the accusations are false. Being this is a sexual abuse situation it is the child that needs protection- either from the abuser locked up or the mother who is forcing the child to lie or lying about the child. What do you know that leads you to believe that the allegations are not true?

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