advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Confusedxx
Member
Confusedxx has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: New york
Posts: 56
5 yr Member
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 11:21 AM
  #1
I just recently left my verbally abusive partner. He has admitted to me that when his prior ex left him, he experienced persecutory delusions and that he thought people were trying to rob from him.

I left, and told him I was returning to taking my anxiety medication to treat my anxiety and depression and was tired of being verbally berated constantly.

Well, this morning I got some text messages from him basically stating that he needed pills too (he would mock me for them etc.). Then, I got a text saying that regarding him smoking pot to chill and relax.

I sent him the screen shots and he swears he never sent them. The next thing I know he is sending me a screen shot of a police detective's card saying he went to the police and they are sending his phone to the FBI. He tells me he believes he knew who did it, and that someone was reading the texts and interjecting in the conversation.

While I know hacking is possible, and my facebook had it's password recently changed I am wondering if me telling him about that caused him to lean towards this. He has had periods where he tells me I said things I never said, delusions of me cheating, and black out episodes where he will berate me and deny it ever happened.

I am a little concerned by this entire thing and not sure how to take it.
Confusedxx is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous40127

advertisement
Anonymous40127
Guest
Anonymous40127 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 11:32 AM
  #2
I am glad you're out of danger.

Since he himself claimed to have delusional disorder (it's not always possible to identify it by yourself), and scorned you for having mental health issues; it seems he might have something other than delusional disorder (may be a narcissistic, or an antisocial) and I suggest you to possibly seek legal help (from a police officer) when he tries to harass you or abuse you.

It's not impossible that some cybercriminal is trying to have him persecuted, or trying to ruin his life, but it's unlikely unless he made someone with a degree in Computer Science Engineering mad for reasons he didn't tell you. Or he could have blacked out, or he is just gaslighting you (this makes me nervous.)

I suggest you to go to the local police department and verify his claims. If they aren't true, he will get what he deserves. I suspect you're in danger because of him.

Edit : I have a fair knowledge of computers and I advice you to follow Malwarebytes blog to make yourself familiar with cyber security (by following the news and reading good practices). Again it's not impossible someone is eavesdropping you, but I think it's highly unlikely unless he was involved in illegal activities.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Nammu
Confusedxx
Member
Confusedxx has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: New york
Posts: 56
5 yr Member
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 11:36 AM
  #3
He admitted to having these things, but he didn't take them particularly seriously or identify them as a "delusional disorder". I just labelled what he told me he had experienced as such.

He has no one with a computer science degree. Either the messages were back logged, or he is really going off the deep end.

I am thinking of calling the police department to actually see if he did make a claim as to his phone being hacked. It's just all alarming to me that he is exhibiting this behavior. He mentioned wanting to "hang" the person that did it, and my fear is he may begin to think that I had something to do with it (obviously in his mind).
Confusedxx is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous40127
Guest
Anonymous40127 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 11:45 AM
  #4
He said he had delusions of being robbed, so that's what I first thought of, because in delusional disorder the primary symptom is having delusions (without thought disorder -- like you couldn't understand what he was saying, or if he yelled at imaginary people) Does he seem to manipulate you? You mentioned he abused you, so it's not unlikely he was using you for personal gain.

He may not have someone with CSE degree, but I think he pissed someone off who had it.
Do you know whether he visited a dark net site or had reckless behavior?


You do need to be afraid if you haven't done anything. Call the police and tell them he abused you, threatened to smoke pot, now is playing mind game etc. etc. (from what I could make out.) You shouldn't have been in relationship with him in first place.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous40127
Guest
Anonymous40127 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 11:49 AM
  #5
Also, unless he was highly stressed (like sweating, breathing heavily/hyperventilating, having tremors or shaky hands, and had a shaky or raspy voice when you told him you're ending the relationship) I doubt he had a breakdown.

It's more likely he is lying and causing pain to you. Did he had butterflies in stomach? Did you notice something odd? Did he talk about psychological evaluation he ever had (if he did)? Unless he sought professional help for his delusions, I doubt it is true.
Edit : My mistake, I didn't notice you live in New York. The Police Department must be busy.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Confusedxx
Member
Confusedxx has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: New york
Posts: 56
5 yr Member
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 11:55 AM
  #6
I think maybe a paranoid disorder then? No, he isn't involved in any illegal activities. He has a mundane job and a mundane home. We know no one who would bother to hack into a phone and send two text messages.

I am leaning towards this is an elaborate overreaction in his mind. He draws conclusions and thinks things that just aren't accurate.

I think the pot smoking comment may have been a back logged message along with the "Maybe I need pills too". It's possible he was intoxicated last night and tried to send messages that just sent over now. I took them as him mocking me for returning to taking celexa for my issues.

I truly believe he isn't lying, and he thinks he was hacked. He just draws the worst conclusions from everything.
Confusedxx is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous40127
Guest
Anonymous40127 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 12:00 PM
  #7
This might be an overreaction (Hypervigilance) and do you believe he may have a formal thought disorder (i.e., was speaking in a strange manner, and was generally suspicious of you) Did he ever physically abuse you?



All I can suggest is to be yourself and ignore people like him. I am on meds too and I know how it is like to be scorned. It's not a "sign of weakness" but rather biological system suffering from physical damage (change in the anatomy of brain, change in its chemicals, metabolism, infection or injury etc.)
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous40127
Guest
Anonymous40127 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 12:03 PM
  #8
if it's a toxic relationship you should not meet him.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Confusedxx
Member
Confusedxx has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: New york
Posts: 56
5 yr Member
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 12:09 PM
  #9
In this instance he wasn't suspicious of me, and he can flip on a dime and become very hostile over what he believes are threats to his ego. He's not physically abusive.

I do believe he has SOME sort of disorder. What, I am not 100% sure but I can see aspects of many in him. Year or so ago we were at a comedy club and I put my hand on his head laughing at some joke having a great time not thinking anything.

Immediately I heard "you're a ****ing ***** for doing that to me"

Then cue hours and hours of being verbally berated. He believed I did this in response to a joke about a small penis, and was making a mockery of him.
Confusedxx is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Nammu
Crone
 
Nammu's Avatar
Nammu has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 70,969 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
53.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 12:22 PM
  #10
He sounds very controlling and self centered.....this is not your fault I suspect he's trying to gaslighting you.

__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Nammu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Confusedxx
Member
Confusedxx has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: New york
Posts: 56
5 yr Member
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 12:29 PM
  #11
It's pretty elaborate if he is trying to gaslight me. He's told me he has been in and out of the station today. Just strange. However, I did notice that when I sent him the second text asking if he meant to text me he seemed to be at the station only moments later. Very strange.

He may very well be at the police station, and I am concerned for his mental health.
Confusedxx is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous40127
Guest
Anonymous40127 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 12:35 PM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Confusedxx View Post
In this instance he wasn't suspicious of me, and he can flip on a dime and become very hostile over what he believes are threats to his ego. He's not physically abusive.

I do believe he has SOME sort of disorder. What, I am not 100% sure but I can see aspects of many in him. Year or so ago we were at a comedy club and I put my hand on his head laughing at some joke having a great time not thinking anything.

Immediately I heard "you're a ****ing ***** for doing that to me"

Then cue hours and hours of being verbally berated. He believed I did this in response to a joke about a small penis, and was making a mockery of him.
Then it sounds like he has narcissistic personality disorder to me. Folks diagnosed with it aren't comfortable with their ego hurt either. You tried to flirt with him and he called you names, very saddening. You should steer clear of him.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous40127
Guest
Anonymous40127 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 12:37 PM
  #13
Don't be concerned for him if he isn't quite concerned with you. No matter how much you are attached. You may just end up damaging yourself. Find another partner, contact your doctor and the police.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Confusedxx
Member
Confusedxx has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: New york
Posts: 56
5 yr Member
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 12:39 PM
  #14
I actually just got some text messages from him again that all just appear to be backlogged messages from prior conversations. I don't doubt he's at the police station, but I doubt he is being hacked. His provider may just have some sort of bug.
Confusedxx is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous40127
Guest
Anonymous40127 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 12:47 PM
  #15
Also for the last hour or so you're online viewing this thread. It makes me think you're too much attached to him. Look, things aren't always as they seem to be.

I am just an internet stranger and I know you won't take this as seriously as the years you've spent with him, but it's my duty to tell you that.

1) He may be a manipulative narcissist who wants nothing but profit from you, the profit may be psychological, physical or materials.

OR

2) On the other side, he may have just had a bad childhood and is impulsive. But it doesn't seem like psychosis to me.

If he is indeed innocent, I still don't suggest you to get back together with him unless you've read (I do not know whether it is legal or not) his psychological evaluation and asked his psychologist if he has good intentions or not.

I am not much into the legal stuff so I do not know whether it is legal or not, but I still suggested that.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous40127
Guest
Anonymous40127 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 12:49 PM
  #16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Confusedxx View Post
I actually just got some text messages from him again that all just appear to be backlogged messages from prior conversations. I don't doubt he's at the police station, but I doubt he is being hacked. His provider may just have some sort of bug.

That's very plausible to say at least. Which platform I may ask? (Chat platform I am asking for.) Okay if you think it's confidential.

Do not over worry about text messages. They may or may not come, but it's you, the end, who is more important the mean or the sender.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Confusedxx
Member
Confusedxx has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: New york
Posts: 56
5 yr Member
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 12:54 PM
  #17
It's google. So it's possible there is just some sort of bug...he goes right to thinking he has been hacked etc.

I have fiddled with the idea of Narc personality disorder for him. He can be a very sweet, kind, and loving individual. He had/has quite a few female friends. One of which actually broke a part of my car and wrote me a letter about how I was "blowing" a relationship with such a great guy with my antics. Unless you get really under the surface of his behaviors he seems absolutely wonderful.

I have read it is common for narcs to have followers who don't know the extent of their disorder that can gang up on the victim.
Confusedxx is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous40127
Guest
Anonymous40127 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 12:56 PM
  #18
Then I am sorry for being irritating.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Confusedxx
Member
Confusedxx has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: New york
Posts: 56
5 yr Member
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 12:58 PM
  #19
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist View Post
Then I am sorry for being irritating.

You are not !
Confusedxx is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous40127
Guest
Anonymous40127 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jun 08, 2018 at 01:05 PM
  #20
Thank you. I really myself needed that. (Can't stop laughing.)

Do you think he is under stress always, has extreme emotions sometimes, is lost in day dreams, is detached from his surroundings, etc. etc.? Anything that might make him mentally ill? Any evidence? Please do not go over extents such as using the internet for hours for him and constantly checking his messages. They (his messages, him) are NOT important as important to you as you are to yourself.

After all, it you who matter yourself most. I suggest you to talk to him about your relationship.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:14 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.