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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: WV
Posts: 19
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#1
Hi all! I am Bipolar, but after being told by a coworker (in a somewhat joking manner), I 'must have BPD' (she doesnt know of my BP diagnosis), I've been researching.
I have violent mood swings, some days extreme rage and often rudeness, I am married but it has been VERY rocky even before our marriage, I do not like people bc of extreme distrust (even in people I should trust including my husband). I have been withdraw since a toddler and extreme depression, suicide attempts etc leading up to my BP diagnosis at age 27. I feel most comfortable in a dark room in front of the tv or just lying in silence with my dog, or taking a walk. I constantly have racing thoughts, but my job requires extreme multi-tasking and I can't "leave work at work". I am a nurse in a jail so if I am disrespected, my ugly side comes out (others do the same tho, in my defense). I have almost no self-confidence and 2nd guess almost everything I do, except I know that I do a good job in many aspects of my job. When my boss pays me a compliment, I feel good for a moment, but I think she just wants to keep people around and it isnt really based on my performance. I have always believed that everyone lies and manipulates and that feeling has become worse over the years: physical illness and life saving sugeries, rape, physical/mental abuse, back-stabbing friends and family, deaths of close family Etc... You know. Life. I am on Lithium and Lamictal and recentally added Vistail. My pdoc is satisfied with my labs and my mood when she sees me, but she isnt always with me. I dont have SI, just want people to go away and leave me to my thoughts. Is it possible I have BPD or another personality disorder? |
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Skeezyks
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Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
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#2
Well... you know we here on PC cannot diagnose you. That is a job for a mental health professional. Anything any of us, here on PC, might say is only going to be a guess based on limited information.
I know you mentioned you see a psychiatrist. But I wonder if you also see a therapist. Perhaps it's different where you live. But where I live all most psychiatrists do is to prescribe & monitor psych med's. Any-&-all efforts related to mental health therapy are left to therapists. So, if you're not seeing a therapist, perhaps that is another component of the healing process you might want to consider. Here are links to 4 articles, from PsychCentral's archives. The first two are on the subject of living day-to-day with bipolar disorder & then with BPD. The third is a quiz you can take to help you determine if you might, in fact, have BPD. And then the fourth is a longer BPD-related test: https://psychcentral.com/lib/living-...isorder/?all=1 https://psychcentral.com/disorders/b...ng-with/?all=1 https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/borderline-quiz/ https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/borderline-test/ I wish you well... __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 1,460
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#3
Anything is,possible. Some diagnosis overlap in symptoms. I would talk to your psychiatrist and a therapist of some sort to sort this,out if you truly have to know. Best wishes! I can't think of a tougher job.
__________________ True happiness comes not when we get rid of all our problems, but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice patience and learn.~Richard Carlson |
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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: WV
Posts: 19
5 |
#4
[QUOTE=Skeezyks;6199998]Well... you know we here on PC cannot diagnose you. That is a job for a mental health professional. Anything any of us, here on PC, might say is only going to be a guess based on limited information.
I know you mentioned you see a psychiatrist. But I wonder if you also see a therapist. Perhaps it's different where you live. But where I live all most psychiatrists do is to prescribe & monitor psych med's. Any-&-all efforts related to mental health therapy are left to therapists. So, if you're not seeing a therapist, perhaps that is another component of the healing process you might want to consider. Here are links to 4 articles, from PsychCentral's archives. The first two are on the subject of living day-to-day with bipolar disorder & then with BPD. The third is a quiz you can take to help you determine if you might, in fact, have BPD. And then the fourth is a longer BPD-related test: I know this is not a place where one can be diagnosed, just looking for input ;-) Thank you for sending the links... Very helpful. Scoring a 10 (although not a diagnosis) and reading the articles helps me see how symptoms of BPD are similar to my symptoms related to Bipolar. I see a general practioner, not psychiatrist because of insurance issues, but she worked in psych for many years prior to her switch and I am very comfortable and confident in her treatment program. I currently don't have an official therapist or scheduled sessions due to insurance, but my best friend and adopted mother is a therapist so we converse when I need to. I'm afraid to bring up my concern of another mental illness with my Dr because what if she doesn't believe me or thinks I'm searching for 1? I'm merely trying to find the missing pieces and treat them because I feel like something is off. I believe I do have Bipolar disorder, but other symptoms don't fit (I understand not everyone fits each disorder perfectly). I believe I need other/more specific treatment plan and maybe a different medication regimen. Does this make sense to anyone here? |
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