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Old 11-27-2018, 04:38 PM #1
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Default Too broken

Me is sad.
L doesn't want to get out of her little bubble.
L wants to dream while laying down and pretending everything is ok.
L wants to hug her old teddy bear while crying.

L fears to face life.

This threat window is broken. Why is it blue?
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Old 11-27-2018, 04:42 PM #2
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Old 11-27-2018, 05:18 PM #3
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Old 11-27-2018, 06:48 PM #4
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Default Re: Too broken

I hear you. Writing and sharing it here is a good start. Just expressing it is reaching out, in a way. Gotta start from where you are.
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Old 11-27-2018, 07:06 PM #5
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Default Re: Too broken

Quest of self care is hard.
The hardest part is having the personal self concept of fog.

I need to like myself, accept myself, know what I like and don't care about showing my "failures".

What I am ashamed of, I should own it as what makes me different.

The root of my sadness, I am tired of not being able to form connections and be allways to worried at How I night be perceived.
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Old 11-27-2018, 07:14 PM #6
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Default Re: Too broken

My teddy beer is a big teddy I have Since I was little.
It has a sweet smell of a teddy that only as been washed a few times in it long life, like a confortabel blanket that spent half of the year in the closet.
It serve as a friend for hugs many times. I have slept with him From time to time through the years. And when I am sad it usualy sooths my feelings.
I am aware a person could may do a better job.
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Old 11-28-2018, 06:31 AM #7
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Default Re: Too broken

Some people may be able to do a better job, but some people not. That's how we got into these kind of situations -- real self lost, in fog, however it is for us. People in our lives couldn't be there for us. Sad. There are no words. No emoji even.

The best for me has been a support group, on PC somewhat but a really good one In Real Life, too. Therapists always failed me. Maybe it was a (needed) repetition, for me to really feel how I had been failed early on, but it took me over 50 years in therapy for that! And I got hurt, over and over, because those people couldn't really be there for me, either.

I got to the roots of my hurt, though, finally. And that's the part "I" had to do, I guess. Hope your schema therapy helps with that -- and that you can find some people who are trustworthy and who you can be your real self with. It takes time, but don't be afraid to question your therapist, or try to find another, if something doesn't feel right.
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