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momo3kids
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Confused Nov 04, 2010 at 05:09 PM
  #1
For the last 5 yrs I have been an emotional rollercoaster. All of it stemming from my first and second husbands abuse. while i have gone to doctors they didn't know about the abuse nor did i voulenteer the info. I have been diagnosed with bi-polar dissorder. but now that i have read up on it i don't think it is bipolar at all I think it is ptsd.

The things that made me even look into this are the constant nightmares, anxiety attacts i have and horrible flash backs that are triggered by the smallest things. i don't feel in controll of my life at all. I was in a gasstation this morning and the man behind the counter looked EXACTLY like my first husband I froze I couldn't move or speak or do anything i turned and ran out of the gasstation when i got in my car i was sobbing histarically but i was certain it was him and i just knew he was gonna get me. I don't know what to do this is ruining my life. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on this for me or am i just being dumb.

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Default Nov 05, 2010 at 10:25 AM
  #2
I think it might be really helpful if you were able to open up and talk to somebody about your abusive past. The right diagnosis could make all the difference! Good luck!!!

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Default Nov 05, 2010 at 02:56 PM
  #3
Sounds like PTSD to me. I would try to find a therapist who is trained in dealing with trauma. Trauma therapy can be incredibly helpful. I have CPTSD but with a lot of therapy I'm almost symptom free except around anniversaries.

Good luck.

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i haven't been diagnosed but pls read and help me
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Default Nov 08, 2010 at 05:59 PM
  #4
PTSD doesn't heal on it's own. Please do find a psychologist that is expert in trauma to help you. Also, CBT has been found to help. There's a sticky at the top of the Psychotherapy Forum... about 10 common cognitive distortions that you can work on to help you think and then feel some better.

Why not have a family meeting and make a chart of what chores you need them to do around the house. You might have to come up with a small reward (gets to choose what to watch on tv ...etc) to motivate them, or take away privileges if they don't do their part?


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Default Nov 08, 2010 at 08:05 PM
  #5
Hey. First, it sounds like you are scared and overwhelmed. You are reading up on what is going on with you and trying to get it right. That is SMART.

I have a pretty extensive history of abuse including by boyfriends but have never been married so I cannot completely relate. I have however survived the triggers, the flash backs, body memories... It can be managed, you can get your life back.

I don't think it ever completely goes away but I can say that my PTSD has been in "remission" for about 5 years now. The 3 things that did the most for me were CBT to deal with the hard times, A friend who could hold me when I needed someone close and who would be just out of sight when I needed to be alone and a massage therapist with experience working with survivors. Oh, and a lot of hard work.

I used to hang in these forums years ago but just circled back to them today. I don't know which forums I will end up hanging in. Feel free to PM me if you need someone who has "been there, done that" and don't see me around. Also, I don't trigger easily so you can say what you need.
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Default Nov 10, 2010 at 08:28 PM
  #6
thank you all for responding to this thread I am trying to find some one to help me. I have no insurance so it is really hard to find someone who will let me make payments to them. but really thank you again.

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Heart Nov 14, 2010 at 09:06 AM
  #7
I don't know where in MO you are, but there are some free trauma recovery programs there.
(such as: http://www.mhagstl.org/links.htm#Missouri
http://www.porn-free.org/counseling.htm)

Any CBT support group, even through a church, would help you learn the basics of good self care, which is most important.

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Default Nov 15, 2010 at 02:55 PM
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Are you out of your second marriage? I'm still married and have PTSD so its hard to recover from something when I continue to be exposed to it.
Traumatic from the past, and continuing traumas in the present. If you are out you can heal. It's certainly important for you to find a T that has trauma experience, maybe there is a trauma group that meets nearby. But also, no all therapist's are skilled at dealing with domestic
violence. We bring to them a myriad of problems that not only include
trauma. Self esteem issues usually, Your anxiety, depression,nightmares
all sound like you may have PTSD. I know it's hard, but try to find some
professional help. I hate taking meds but they may help you.



Quote:
Originally Posted by momo3kids View Post
For the last 5 yrs I have been an emotional rollercoaster. All of it stemming from my first and second husbands abuse. while i have gone to doctors they didn't know about the abuse nor did i voulenteer the info. I have been diagnosed with bi-polar dissorder. but now that i have read up on it i don't think it is bipolar at all I think it is ptsd.

The things that made me even look into this are the constant nightmares, anxiety attacts i have and horrible flash backs that are triggered by the smallest things. i don't feel in controll of my life at all. I was in a gasstation this morning and the man behind the counter looked EXACTLY like my first husband I froze I couldn't move or speak or do anything i turned and ran out of the gasstation when i got in my car i was sobbing histarically but i was certain it was him and i just knew he was gonna get me. I don't know what to do this is ruining my life. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on this for me or am i just being dumb.

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Default Nov 18, 2010 at 08:34 PM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by momo3kids View Post
For the last 5 yrs I have been an emotional rollercoaster. All of it stemming from my first and second husbands abuse. while i have gone to doctors they didn't know about the abuse nor did i voulenteer the info. I have been diagnosed with bi-polar dissorder. but now that i have read up on it i don't think it is bipolar at all I think it is ptsd.

The things that made me even look into this are the constant nightmares, anxiety attacts i have and horrible flash backs that are triggered by the smallest things. i don't feel in controll of my life at all. I was in a gasstation this morning and the man behind the counter looked EXACTLY like my first husband I froze I couldn't move or speak or do anything i turned and ran out of the gasstation when i got in my car i was sobbing histarically but i was certain it was him and i just knew he was gonna get me. I don't know what to do this is ruining my life. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on this for me or am i just being dumb.

You do not sound stupid at all. I do the exact same thing regarding my ex abusive boyfriend and it is normal in relation to surviving an abusive relationship. I was diagnosed with PTSD 15 years ago while having flashbacks, depression and anxiety remembering my family sexual abuse and that lasted a year. I have been treated for depression for that long with meds and am doing well now, but for the past about 3 years I was in this abusive relationship and he triggered the PTSD. It is funny you write this, as I am going thru horrible anxiety and depression from a run in with him. I feel numb, and jumpy etc. You should speak with a professional about your situation and the abuse. You are not crazy. I wish you the best of luck.

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Default Nov 18, 2010 at 09:45 PM
  #10
thank you all for replying to this i just got a call today from comtrea a counseling center i was on a waiting list for i have an appointment on december 1st. I am sorry to know there are other people going through what i am but it's good to know i am not alone.

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Default Nov 18, 2010 at 09:47 PM
  #11
Quote:
Originally Posted by MASIMO View Post
Are you out of your second marriage? I'm still married and have PTSD so its hard to recover from something when I continue to be exposed to it.
Traumatic from the past, and continuing traumas in the present. If you are out you can heal. It's certainly important for you to find a T that has trauma experience, maybe there is a trauma group that meets nearby. But also, no all therapist's are skilled at dealing with domestic
violence. We bring to them a myriad of problems that not only include
trauma. Self esteem issues usually, Your anxiety, depression,nightmares
all sound like you may have PTSD. I know it's hard, but try to find some
professional help. I hate taking meds but they may help you.
I have not lived with him for about a year and a half. but we are not divorced yet. he is still very emotionally, verbally, and when he can physically.

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Default Nov 17, 2013 at 03:40 AM
  #12
I was finally diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and I have been in a living in complete horror for almost 3 years

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