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Default Dec 02, 2018 at 02:38 PM
  #41
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Originally Posted by Quarter life View Post
Dear Werewoman.

There is a very simple reason why you are labouring in constructing an appropriate letter to your Mother....The reason is that there simply are no words to convey that kind of disgust. Please be the human voice of reason here...please don't write anything. Please don't allow those creatures anything more of yourself. They took your innocence and your trust, don't give them insight into what's in your mind...That belongs to you and you alone.

My best advice on this is for you to galvanise your resolve, and stride forward into the world...a world where you get to choose how to become the hero of your own life story.

Werewoman, I wish you joy and peace and all the very best moving into a brighter future.
Great advice!
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Default Dec 03, 2018 at 07:49 AM
  #42
Well, it seems my husband has decided that he will live his life and I'll live mine. Fine. Whatever he wants.

This kind of thing happens all the time. People can't cope with MI.

I'm starting my new life by going after the S.O.B. whose fault it is. I'm going to enjoy this.

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Default Dec 27, 2018 at 09:56 PM
  #43
I think you should say the words instead of write the words, if you can. In person and not by phone where she can hang up. Face to face, let her have it. In my experience one session really won't be enough, either. For me, I gave it to my nitwit "mother" for about 40 minutes, non-stop. Later, she died. Now I wish she was still alive so I could give it to her again.
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Default Dec 27, 2018 at 10:24 PM
  #44
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Originally Posted by Werewoman View Post
Well, it seems my husband has decided that he will live his life and I'll live mine. Fine. Whatever he wants.

This kind of thing happens all the time. People can't cope with MI.

I'm starting my new life by going after the S.O.B. whose fault it is. I'm going to enjoy this.
Hello Werewoman, I am so sorry for your pain and abuse and trauma. You deserved dignity, and peace, and love. Are you saying that your husband wants to separate or am I misunderstanding you?

May I ask what you mean by MI?

May I say something about your mother? I think she is likely disturbed. I don't think she can be operating from a rational or healthy mind. That does NOT mean that her choices are okay...it is NOT a justification or rationalization. I just mean that if she's operating from a completely distorted and dysfunctional place in her mind, I am not sure that she will be open to any logic or feedback from you. Her actions, in addition to the abuse you endured, must be deeply hurtful to you and also just plain bizarre.

I am just wondering what is best for you? Do you think that pursuing your abuser will bring you any peace or were you referring to your mother as the "SOB"...going after her. Did you ever try talking to a therapist with experience in sexual abuse?

I wish you peace and healing energy and safe love.
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Default Dec 28, 2018 at 05:51 PM
  #45
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Well, it seems my husband has decided that he will live his life and I'll live mine. Fine. Whatever he wants.

This kind of thing happens all the time. People can't cope with MI.

I'm starting my new life by going after the S.O.B. whose fault it is. I'm going to enjoy this.
It sound like it might give you some closure.
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Default Dec 28, 2018 at 05:52 PM
  #46
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Originally Posted by Sporty McDaniel View Post
I think you should say the words instead of write the words, if you can. In person and not by phone where she can hang up. Face to face, let her have it. In my experience one session really won't be enough, either. For me, I gave it to my nitwit "mother" for about 40 minutes, non-stop. Later, she died. Now I wish she was still alive so I could give it to her again.
Great advice! I'm sorry that that had happened to you.
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Default Dec 28, 2018 at 05:54 PM
  #47
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Originally Posted by HopefullyLost1211 View Post
Hello Werewoman, I am so sorry for your pain and abuse and trauma. You deserved dignity, and peace, and love. Are you saying that your husband wants to separate or am I misunderstanding you?

May I ask what you mean by MI?

May I say something about your mother? I think she is likely disturbed. I don't think she can be operating from a rational or healthy mind. That does NOT mean that her choices are okay...it is NOT a justification or rationalization. I just mean that if she's operating from a completely distorted and dysfunctional place in her mind, I am not sure that she will be open to any logic or feedback from you. Her actions, in addition to the abuse you endured, must be deeply hurtful to you and also just plain bizarre.

I am just wondering what is best for you? Do you think that pursuing your abuser will bring you any peace or were you referring to your mother as the "SOB"...going after her. Did you ever try talking to a therapist with experience in sexual abuse?

I wish you peace and healing energy and safe love.
Great advice! I think talking to a therapist might help you.
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Default Dec 28, 2018 at 05:55 PM
  #48
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Good for you...."When good men do nothing, evil continues."
I simply agree!
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Default Dec 28, 2018 at 05:57 PM
  #49
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And just when things can't get any more complicated, my nephew, Tommy, tried to kill himself by jumping out of a moving car. I have not yet gone to Ft. Worth to see him yet because he's still unconscious. He'll probably survive, but we don't know if or when he'll wake up.
Eventually I will go and I'm sure my mother will be there. I have decided to make it clear that if she doesn't want me to enforce a protective order, don't be at the hospital when I get there. Period. I'm not playing games.
I'm sorry that this has happened to your nephew. I lost my brother in law to suicide.
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Default Dec 28, 2018 at 05:58 PM
  #50
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Thank you!

WW
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Default Dec 28, 2018 at 05:59 PM
  #51
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I woke up and realized...she's never going to leave me alone, so I'm filing a petition for a protective order. Enough is enough.
It sound like it a good idea to get a protective order
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Default Dec 28, 2018 at 06:02 PM
  #52
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After a lot of thought, I got angrier and angrier that they wrote back. After I explicitly told them not to....so even though I threw their letter in the garbage without reading it, i replied with this:

THIS IS NOT A GAME!

I specifically stated that you not contact me in any way, and what’s the first thing you do? Write a letter. It went into the garbage, as will any subsequent communications.

THIS IS MY LIFE AND I DON’T NEED OR WANT YOU IN IT!

For the last time,

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

If you don’t, I will make you.
Are you sure that you don't want to start collecting evidence against your parents for harrassment? In case you need to go to court.
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Default Dec 28, 2018 at 06:05 PM
  #53
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Well, well, well...I got a response. I didn't read it, and I won't. I was VERY serious when I said no more letters, etc. And does she disrespect my wishes yet again? Of course. It's what she does.

I wonder how long it will take her to notice I never read it. Hmmmm.
It possible that you will never know. Start gathering evidence against them. So you can enforce the no contact.
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Default Dec 28, 2018 at 06:08 PM
  #54
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Here's what I'm thinking. I believe that your mother is self-destructive because she hates herself. I believe that she hates herself because she is profoundly emotionally sick and doesn't want to make the necessary changes to be healthier - in part because she doesn't feel that she deserves a better life.

Unfortunately, you have been caught in the web of her sickness. If I were you, I would work on taking the focus off her - and off the jerk who molested you - and truly focus on your own well-being. It's not easy, but I suggest that you stop giving those people any attention. If they "haunt" you, or if you dream about them, see it solely as a path to bringing you back to yourself. To put it simply: let go of that old story and create a new, healthier story.
Best of luck to you.
Sound like a plan!
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Default Jan 03, 2019 at 04:04 PM
  #55
MI stands for mental illness.

As to my husband, who knows. He understands what's wrong with me, but I can tell he resents it, as he should. It's not his fault but he bears the brunt of it.

As to monster mommy and her minion. I know where they are. When I'm ready, I'll go. They may die of old age before that happens and that's okay.

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Default Jan 07, 2019 at 03:20 PM
  #56
So after some more research, I discovered they were together from 2012 to 2016. That's when they were living together. I wish I had known back then. I would have killed them both. Two birds with one stone, so to speak.

I found his exact address as well. I'm thinking about driving down and finding him - just watch him for a while and see how I feel.

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Default Jan 07, 2019 at 08:26 PM
  #57
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MI stands for mental illness.

As to my husband, who knows. He understands what's wrong with me, but I can tell he resents it, as he should. It's not his fault but he bears the brunt of it.

As to monster mommy and her minion. I know where they are. When I'm ready, I'll go. They may die of old age before that happens and that's okay.
I am sorry that you are struggling right now!
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Default Jan 07, 2019 at 08:27 PM
  #58
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So after some more research, I discovered they were together from 2012 to 2016. That's when they were living together. I wish I had known back then. I would have killed them both. Two birds with one stone, so to speak.

I found his exact address as well. I'm thinking about driving down and finding him - just watch him for a while and see how I feel.
Perhaps just let the neighborhood know about how bad they are.
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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 11:31 AM
  #59
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Are you sure that you don't want to start collecting evidence against your parents for harrassment? In case you need to go to court.
My medical records speak volumes. If I took them to court, I'm sure I would win, I just don't know if I could handle the stress.

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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 11:34 AM
  #60
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Perhaps just let the neighborhood know about how bad they are.
I thought of that. I should write to the assisted living center he's living in right now and tell them they have a pedophile in their midst.

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