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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 11:37 AM
  #61
I almost drove to Texas today to confront him, or at least watch him for a while and see how it makes me feel. I will probably have a panic attack, but I know how to talk myself down. If I get my laundry done today, I may go tomorrow. i just want it over with.

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Default Jan 24, 2019 at 11:39 AM
  #62
Well, I still haven't made it to Texas yet. I'm terrified even knowing there's nothing to be terrified about. I'll report back when I get over being such a chicken.

I have to do something soon or it will tear me apart.

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You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. ~ Robin Williams

Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd
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Default Jan 26, 2019 at 09:40 AM
  #63
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

I went to confront Noble, my ex-stepfather who molested me, only to be told that he was DEAD!

*WW doin' her happy dance*

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Default Jan 29, 2019 at 04:26 PM
  #64
there are tons of folks on here who have gone back to poor relationships...sometimes a bad one is easier and "safer" then a new one. is it the right or best thing? no. but it happens, all the time. honestly being labeled stupid by others here who may or may not have made similar choices probably isn't the most helpful. to me what would be a more helpful choice would be commending the poster for recognizing her choice for not returning into that relationship and recognizing it as an unhealthy one.

we can't make choices for others..or know what factors they brought into their decision making. it's like a drunk returning to alcohol. they know it's wrong for them but in times of stress it might be their choice to return to drinking. plently of women (and men) return to unsafe relationships because that is what they are familiar with...to them in a way, it is safe. clearly to us it might not be, but that is not OUR call.

anyway, my call would be to assist the poster with recognizing her decisions , not her families...because in the end that is what really matters.
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Default Jan 29, 2019 at 06:26 PM
  #65
I am sorry, that must be difficult to watch happen. Unfortunately, I don't think either can be much help to anyone while they are in that state. Just remember that you are not defined by them. They may have been part of your life at some time but who you are and who you become is up to you. I hope writing your letter has brought you some peace of mind. Know that there are people here who care about you and understand that what you are feeling is real and very raw. You have a right to these feelings, because they are yours.
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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 08:41 AM
  #66
So it's been around 6 weeks since I learned of his death and what a roller coaster ride it's been!
My bipolar started cycling every couple of days or so, my depression was horrific and all the old stuff like nightmares and 'seeing' him...it all came back. It was as if my sub-concious suddenly became a waterfall and all this "stuff" started just pouring out of me and I was powerless to make it stop.
Now it seems better, I've stopped cycling - for now. Gee, I can't wait till my mom dies. I imagine it will be much worse.
For now, I'm good. Thanks everyone!

WW

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Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd
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Default Mar 21, 2019 at 11:14 AM
  #67
Today I am doing my first EMDR session to deal with the sexual abuse. I can't say I'm looking forward to it, but I am looking forward to the results.

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Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd
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