advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Omers
Grand Magnate
 
Omers's Avatar
Omers has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
10 yr Member
3,133 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 12, 2019 at 11:21 PM
  #1
T and I started EMDR yesterday. He was so sensitive and attentive knowing that I had a bad experience with it before. He asked if it was OK to pull his chair up to mine and I said yes. He said he wanted to try the tapping instead of the eye movements and I told him I would prefer the tapping anyway. I spent most of my life terrified of men. I had a priest in college help me get to where I could function around men without going into an instant PTSD meltdown. But then when I went to graduate school I was too far away for the priest to keep helping me (but he has allowed me to keep in touch). I got married which has been a mixed bag... there are some ways I feel very safe with hubby and many ways I don’t. Even the priest never sat that close to me even though we hugged. So other than my husband I haven’t had a safe man that far into my personal space or touch me other than quick hugs. I guess I hadn’t thought about it. T was very cautious to be sure I felt OK with him there but I guess neither of us thought about the feelings that feeling safe would bring up. So, even though we were doing really safe stuff with the EMDR (building a container) I kept crying. I just wanted to stop and feel what it felt like to not be afraid, to not be in pain, to not have my heart racing. I just wanted to sit there and feel “normal”. I couldn’t put words to it so we just kept going with the EMDR. Feeling him touch my leg and not instantly cower and crumble in terror and pain was another new thing I guess we didn’t plan for. I knew I felt safe enough with T to be OK doing the EMDR but never thought about what feeling safe might bring up, or just the novelty of feeling it and wanting to stay in that space.
Yes, I told T in an email what I had been thinking and feeling. As always he was super supportive while still encouraging me to grow. He has committed to continue to affirm me in writing/emails until I have the courage to say what I am feeling in the moment. I have never had a male T before (lots of female T’s) I didn’t expect him to be so gentle, empathetic... well... so safe.

Anyone else have unexpected positive things come up from working with a T they trusted? I kinda expect to get triggered at points in therapy but didn’t expect to have to work through the positive feelings too.

__________________
There’s been many a crooked path
that has landed me here
Tired, broken and wearing rags
Wild eyed with fear
-Blackmoores Night
Omers is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Betty_Banana

advertisement
Anonymous52333
Guest
Anonymous52333 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Feb 12, 2019 at 11:49 PM
  #2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Omers View Post
T and I started EMDR yesterday. He was so sensitive and attentive knowing that I had a bad experience with it before. He asked if it was OK to pull his chair up to mine and I said yes. He said he wanted to try the tapping instead of the eye movements and I told him I would prefer the tapping anyway. I spent most of my life terrified of men. I had a priest in college help me get to where I could function around men without going into an instant PTSD meltdown. But then when I went to graduate school I was too far away for the priest to keep helping me (but he has allowed me to keep in touch). I got married which has been a mixed bag... there are some ways I feel very safe with hubby and many ways I don’t. Even the priest never sat that close to me even though we hugged. So other than my husband I haven’t had a safe man that far into my personal space or touch me other than quick hugs. I guess I hadn’t thought about it. T was very cautious to be sure I felt OK with him there but I guess neither of us thought about the feelings that feeling safe would bring up. So, even though we were doing really safe stuff with the EMDR (building a container) I kept crying. I just wanted to stop and feel what it felt like to not be afraid, to not be in pain, to not have my heart racing. I just wanted to sit there and feel “normal”. I couldn’t put words to it so we just kept going with the EMDR. Feeling him touch my leg and not instantly cower and crumble in terror and pain was another new thing I guess we didn’t plan for. I knew I felt safe enough with T to be OK doing the EMDR but never thought about what feeling safe might bring up, or just the novelty of feeling it and wanting to stay in that space.
Yes, I told T in an email what I had been thinking and feeling. As always he was super supportive while still encouraging me to grow. He has committed to continue to affirm me in writing/emails until I have the courage to say what I am feeling in the moment. I have never had a male T before (lots of female T’s) I didn’t expect him to be so gentle, empathetic... well... so safe.

Anyone else have unexpected positive things come up from working with a T they trusted? I kinda expect to get triggered at points in therapy but didn’t expect to have to work through the positive feelings too.
That is a really wonderful thing to hear! So glad you had a safe feeling!
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Omers
Amyjay
Magnate
Amyjay has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
5 yr Member
692 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 13, 2019 at 03:16 AM
  #3
That sounds super intense. So glad you have a trustworthy T.
Amyjay is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Omers
Omers
Grand Magnate
 
Omers's Avatar
Omers has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
10 yr Member
3,133 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 13, 2019 at 06:40 AM
  #4
Yes, I am very fortunate to have finally found a good T for me. I think he feels bad for not catching it because we were both focused on the EMDR. He just finished his training in EMDR and I think I am the first client he is trying it with... nothing like jumping into the deep end right off!

__________________
There’s been many a crooked path
that has landed me here
Tired, broken and wearing rags
Wild eyed with fear
-Blackmoores Night
Omers is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:50 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.