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Junior Member
Member Since Jan 2019
Location: The South
Posts: 12
5 |
#1
Today I put a call into a local trauma therapist I was referred to by a prominent national center for wellness.
I am really afraid to defrost. What has been stored up and experienced by me for so many years took that many years to freeze shut. I spend my time being alone in the midst of people. I have no pleasures and my sleep is disturbed by flashbacks. I have a family that relies on me and I have been in the shadows for months. As I get older it gets harder to freeze the new traumas. I feel I am losing my touch. Admitting anything more would wipe out what little I am able to contain. What has been your experiences as you get on the road to recovery--or it is a road to adapt ? Can't pretend it didn't happen. Who really cares about me other than me after all these years. I am a fool for thinking the damage doesn't plan to eat away at what I have left, that it will, in the end, rob me of what I undoubtedly have as an inestimable treasure? |
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HowDoYouFeelMeow?, unaluna
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
7 692 hugs
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#2
Who cares about you? You need to care about you. You need to matter to you.
I am in a similar position to you. I have a therapist. We have been seeing her for nearly two years. We stand on the brink of the precipice. I know what hell is in there. I know how much I am going to hurt when we open it up. I know it is going to be so awful. But I also know it is the only way through to Life. This - currently - is Not Life. To use your analogy, this is simply spending all my energy and time trying to hold that damned freezer door shut. It's a heck of a way to live a life. I really want to be free to move away from that stupid freezer and walk outside. I want to feel the sunshine. I want to freaking Live. But I think the only way to do that is to open the damned freezer, let all that rotten stuff out, clean it up once and for all, and then be free to walk away and leave it behind. Sometimes that rot has to be picked up and thrown away once and for all. |
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Junior Member
Member Since Jan 2019
Location: The South
Posts: 12
5 |
#3
It took me sending an email, out of the blue, to the specialist. I actually got a response -- imagine that--from the specialist themself! I am going there next week. As the specialist does not have an active patient practice, I am looking for a community referral. I am preparing to bring a patient biography so as to make the most of the session.
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booa, unaluna
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2012
Location: rochester, michigan
Posts: 3,111
12 60 hugs
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#4
Therapy is the hardest work you will ever do, but the most valuable...."defrosting" a slow step by step process.
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