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greenfeather
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Default Jun 20, 2019 at 09:06 AM
  #1
Hi. I have been suffering from PTSD for two years, after being exposed to intense and prolonged stress because of delusions and hallucinations I had during psychedelic experiences. I have lived wonderful experiences while high on them, but I lived also some deeply traumatic ones (several ones on LSD, one on 2C-B, one on ayahuasca, one on mescaline and one on mushrooms). I was 18-19 years old. Now I am almost 21 years old.
I will not describe them because I don't want to trigger reactions in anyone. I myself am not comfortable telling them, especially at night. I start shivering and having anxiety. When I get reminded of them by external noises or scenes or environments, I live the same sensations and sometimes I start having visual distortions as well. Some nights I have sleep paralysis. The symptoms have been lessening since I stopped using all psychoative substances, after a mental breakdown in which I had a huge flashback lasting for two weeks. Sometimes randomly I still get anxiety. It feels like my muscles are always tense and I get easily distracted by everything. When I wake up I feel depressed and I don't know if it's related.
My therapist says that I won't be able t communicate to people what I have been through and that I don't need to do it. But I still feel like I am forever changed. She says that I am, but I can move on. Instead I feel like those negative emotions are imprinted into my body and that I won't be able to heal completely. Is there someone else here who has PTSD from psychedelic experiences? Have you managed to feel like your old self again?
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Default Jun 20, 2019 at 03:27 PM
  #2
Hi, I cannot relate to having PTSD due to psychedelic experiences, but I have experienced some of the things you have mentioned such as the shivering and even my body totally shutting down during a flashback. My therapist has said some of the same things as yours that these things from our past are there, but there are ways through intense talk therapy and bringing out those emotions that we can work through them in positive ways and eventually move on. My PTSD stems from extensive abuse so it is totally different from yours, but still we both experience some of the same horrible anxieties. Just keep working hard with your therapist. I also do a daily journal which helps me a lot.
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Default Jun 20, 2019 at 03:57 PM
  #3
Thank you. Honestly, I feel embarassed because I know that most of you have gone through far worse things than me, real things and not something in your imagination. But psychedelic experiences are mind-shattering and in some of them you lose every kind of contact with reality. Basically it's like inducing yourself into psychosis. I also had a psychotic episode while sober and that hasn't helped. Only wanted to say that I have lived the experience of being "crazy" and even if you know that something doesn't work in your mind you can't help but trust everything it says to you. It destroys all your foundations. But, still, I know that what I've gone through is nothing compared to physical abuse or war. I hope no one gets offended.
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Default Jun 20, 2019 at 04:05 PM
  #4
I am not offended at all and you should not be embarrassed at all. Something that brings on anxiety and that is debilitating no matter how it happens is a horrible thing. We both need to work hard each day on overcoming whatever demons we have that brings on this anxiety.
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Default Jul 04, 2019 at 03:43 PM
  #5
I had the police show up and find 10 hits of lsd in my room while I was on 5. I didnt come down for days and it pretty much turned me off of psychedelics. It really messed with me for a long time. Not the same, but I can definitely relate. It was also when I was 18/19 and now I'm 42. Hasn't been a problem in many moons. Here's hoping you find some relief.

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Default Jul 07, 2019 at 12:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Treyfrancis21 View Post
I had the police show up and find 10 hits of lsd in my room while I was on 5. I didnt come down for days and it pretty much turned me off of psychedelics. It really messed with me for a long time. Not the same, but I can definitely relate. It was also when I was 18/19 and now I'm 42. Hasn't been a problem in many moons. Here's hoping you find some relief.
Thanks. I have improved and now I don't experience flashbacks anymore. In one of my trips I lived the same situation except for the fact that it was all in my head (weird drug isn't it ). I thought my friends had called the police and I saw police lights and sounds and lived the whole scene because basically I had dosed too high and couldn't almost see reality anymore. Anyway through these years I have been suffering also from cyclothymic disorder and I highly suspect it was caused by the drugs (they turned cyclothymic temperament into cyclothymic disorder). Let's see how it goes from now. This disorder isn't always chronic (it's different from bipolar disorder). Since all of my symptoms started when I was abusing drugs, I suspect that they were stressors for my predisposition to cyclothymic disorder. In fact since I quit everything (five months ago) I only had two mood episodes and both were less intense than the ones I used to have and lasted only a couple days. I hope I won't experience symptoms anymore so I will be left only with ADHD that for me is way more manageable.
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Default Jul 07, 2019 at 01:43 PM
  #7
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Originally Posted by greenfeather View Post
Thanks. I have improved and now I don't experience flashbacks anymore. In one of my trips I lived the same situation except for the fact that it was all in my head (weird drug isn't it ). I thought my friends had called the police and I saw police lights and sounds and lived the whole scene because basically I had dosed too high and couldn't almost see reality anymore. Anyway through these years I have been suffering also from cyclothymic disorder and I highly suspect it was caused by the drugs (they turned cyclothymic temperament into cyclothymic disorder). Let's see how it goes from now. This disorder isn't always chronic (it's different from bipolar disorder). Since all of my symptoms started when I was abusing drugs, I suspect that they were stressors for my predisposition to cyclothymic disorder. In fact since I quit everything (five months ago) I only had two mood episodes and both were less intense than the ones I used to have and lasted only a couple days. I hope I won't experience symptoms anymore so I will be left only with ADHD that for me is way more manageable.
I often wonder if my heavy drug use when I was younger predisposed me to my bipolar. The PTSD is definitely separate. I still vape weed for my anxiety and have since before diagnosis. I've learned with medication and therapy to manage my symptoms pretty well.

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― Ray Bradbury
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