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Member Since Jun 2019
Location: N/A
Posts: 41
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#1
Hi. I have been suffering from PTSD for two years, after being exposed to intense and prolonged stress because of delusions and hallucinations I had during psychedelic experiences. I have lived wonderful experiences while high on them, but I lived also some deeply traumatic ones (several ones on LSD, one on 2C-B, one on ayahuasca, one on mescaline and one on mushrooms). I was 18-19 years old. Now I am almost 21 years old.
I will not describe them because I don't want to trigger reactions in anyone. I myself am not comfortable telling them, especially at night. I start shivering and having anxiety. When I get reminded of them by external noises or scenes or environments, I live the same sensations and sometimes I start having visual distortions as well. Some nights I have sleep paralysis. The symptoms have been lessening since I stopped using all psychoative substances, after a mental breakdown in which I had a huge flashback lasting for two weeks. Sometimes randomly I still get anxiety. It feels like my muscles are always tense and I get easily distracted by everything. When I wake up I feel depressed and I don't know if it's related. My therapist says that I won't be able t communicate to people what I have been through and that I don't need to do it. But I still feel like I am forever changed. She says that I am, but I can move on. Instead I feel like those negative emotions are imprinted into my body and that I won't be able to heal completely. Is there someone else here who has PTSD from psychedelic experiences? Have you managed to feel like your old self again? |
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Misery Business
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Grand Member
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 750
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#2
Hi, I cannot relate to having PTSD due to psychedelic experiences, but I have experienced some of the things you have mentioned such as the shivering and even my body totally shutting down during a flashback. My therapist has said some of the same things as yours that these things from our past are there, but there are ways through intense talk therapy and bringing out those emotions that we can work through them in positive ways and eventually move on. My PTSD stems from extensive abuse so it is totally different from yours, but still we both experience some of the same horrible anxieties. Just keep working hard with your therapist. I also do a daily journal which helps me a lot.
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greenfeather
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greenfeather
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Member
Member Since Jun 2019
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Posts: 41
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#3
Thank you. Honestly, I feel embarassed because I know that most of you have gone through far worse things than me, real things and not something in your imagination. But psychedelic experiences are mind-shattering and in some of them you lose every kind of contact with reality. Basically it's like inducing yourself into psychosis. I also had a psychotic episode while sober and that hasn't helped. Only wanted to say that I have lived the experience of being "crazy" and even if you know that something doesn't work in your mind you can't help but trust everything it says to you. It destroys all your foundations. But, still, I know that what I've gone through is nothing compared to physical abuse or war. I hope no one gets offended.
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Grand Member
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 750
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#4
I am not offended at all and you should not be embarrassed at all. Something that brings on anxiety and that is debilitating no matter how it happens is a horrible thing. We both need to work hard each day on overcoming whatever demons we have that brings on this anxiety.
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greenfeather
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Member
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: provo
Posts: 242
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#5
I had the police show up and find 10 hits of lsd in my room while I was on 5. I didnt come down for days and it pretty much turned me off of psychedelics. It really messed with me for a long time. Not the same, but I can definitely relate. It was also when I was 18/19 and now I'm 42. Hasn't been a problem in many moons. Here's hoping you find some relief.
__________________ BP2, PTSD, BPD “Learning to let go should be learned before learning to get. Life should be touched, not strangled. You’ve got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others move forward with it.” ― Ray Bradbury |
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greenfeather
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greenfeather
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Member
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: N/A
Posts: 41
4 18 hugs
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#6
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Member
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: provo
Posts: 242
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#7
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__________________ BP2, PTSD, BPD “Learning to let go should be learned before learning to get. Life should be touched, not strangled. You’ve got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others move forward with it.” ― Ray Bradbury |
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