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#1
It's so tiring.
Every day feeling like something normal is going to become something abnormal. A simple walk or drive ends up a fight for survival. Survival from what? That person following me. But why are they following me? I don't know, don't you see. In the world ptsd. This is a normal thought. A day begins. Everything is right in the world. Oh, that doesn't last. I see something from the corner of my eye. The wheel of horrific thoughts kicks in. The heart fastens. The glass box falls down. I'm now a watcher. I can see the world go by. But that's not a world for me. That's for those not afflicted by trauma. I go to bed. My minds thinks up strrategys to try and hope today will be the last day I feel this way. But then the new day begins, but all the old thoughts and feelings return. This is my life. Rolling pebbles up mountains with my nose. It's all I know. . Tick tock tick tock. My time here will end. Then?... Peace. |
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Open Eyes, seeker33, Skeezyks, unaluna
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
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#2
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. Hopefully being here on PC is of some comfort & support to you.
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: Europe
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#3
I'm so sorry you feel this way, mouse. I like you as a person. I like reading your thoughtful and helpful posts on this site. I'm sending you my thoughts and wishing you well.
__________________ Complex trauma Highly sensitive person I love nature, simplicity and minimalism |
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