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jrae
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Attention Oct 06, 2019 at 11:38 PM
  #1
okay, so the one person I could've shared this with is dead now - so i'll put it on here (don't know what else to do).

**trigger warning**

today, I almost t-boned this car in an intersection! it was about 50 minutes before sunset and I HAD my lights on (don't think they did) - going on the main road thru the city and the idiot pulled out right in front of me!! I have no clue why they pulled out (the cross-street had a stop-sign) or if they even saw me at all. all I know is that if I hadn't of slammed on the breaks, I would've ran right into them!!! (I couldn't even tell you if they were going straight thru the intersection or trying to make a left turn) the speed limit inside city limits was 35mph, which I was going, so it wouldn't have been a major wreck but still one nonetheless.

I already have tons of ptsd from 3 previous MVAs (one 'accident', one 'fender-bender', and one major crash)! last year in November, I almost slid into the other lane on a 2-lane highway, which might have been a head-on collision -> that put my ptsd thru the roof and I could barely drive in snowy/icy conditions and roads the rest of the winter! and now after this 'near miss', I'm horrified what it is going to do to me! I mean, afterwards I still had like 45-minutes of driving before I got back home. and it took that entire time (almost an hour) for the tingling in my face to stop!!! for a while, half of my head was tingling and I was breathing somewhat heavy!

I live alone and am single, so I have to be able to drive myself. and up until the past few years, I loved driving. now it seems like I'm almost haunted by these 'incidences'. my two wrecks I never saw coming (loss of conscientious helps too), but last year's and now this one, it's like the image is burned into my mind. and I'm a visual person mind you

and to top it off, today's date is actually the anniversary of my crash (four years now)
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Default Oct 07, 2019 at 11:58 AM
  #2
I sympathize with you jrae, I had been in a car accident myself years ago when I was on a main route and there was a big truck parked in the lane I was traveling and I was not even going fast. He had no lights on and I thought he was moving and as I got closer I realized he was not moving and I stepped on the brakes but because it had rained my car did not stop and it was like slow motion where I saw the front of my car hit the truck and slowly crinkle up and the force of it threw me forward and into the windshield. We think we can hold onto the steering wheel but the force is much too strong for that and I was NOT going fast and really thought I was going to stop in time and not hit him. Yet, because it had rained my car kept moving like it was on ice, nothing I could do.

I have to drive a lot for my business and I have to pull a horse trailer with a pony in it and always have to consider how my adorable sweet pony is standing in that trailer and is trusting how I drive without stopping short or making tight turns etc. Unfortunately, other drivers can be so disrespectful and cut me off , doesn't matter what lane I travel in either. The other weekend I was out driving to a job I was on a main street and this old woman dressed in black was suddenly in the road in front of me walking across the road with her walker and I almost hit her because she was not crossing the street where people are supposed to cross and I did not see her right away because the road is black and she was dressed in black. I got very badly triggered.

I tend to experience anxiety when I drive and because I often have to do so much driving when I do different jobs I am literally EXAUSTED when I finish my day, or weekend. People don't GET what it's like for me either.

Sorry you got so badly triggered, I would be badly triggered myself if I experienced what you are describing.
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Default Oct 09, 2019 at 08:26 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrae View Post
okay, so the one person I could've shared this with is dead now - so i'll put it on here (don't know what else to do).

**trigger warning**

today, I almost t-boned this car in an intersection! it was about 50 minutes before sunset and I HAD my lights on (don't think they did) - going on the main road thru the city and the idiot pulled out right in front of me!! I have no clue why they pulled out (the cross-street had a stop-sign) or if they even saw me at all. all I know is that if I hadn't of slammed on the breaks, I would've ran right into them!!! (I couldn't even tell you if they were going straight thru the intersection or trying to make a left turn) the speed limit inside city limits was 35mph, which I was going, so it wouldn't have been a major wreck but still one nonetheless.

I already have tons of ptsd from 3 previous MVAs (one 'accident', one 'fender-bender', and one major crash)! last year in November, I almost slid into the other lane on a 2-lane highway, which might have been a head-on collision -> that put my ptsd thru the roof and I could barely drive in snowy/icy conditions and roads the rest of the winter! and now after this 'near miss', I'm horrified what it is going to do to me! I mean, afterwards I still had like 45-minutes of driving before I got back home. and it took that entire time (almost an hour) for the tingling in my face to stop!!! for a while, half of my head was tingling and I was breathing somewhat heavy!

I live alone and am single, so I have to be able to drive myself. and up until the past few years, I loved driving. now it seems like I'm almost haunted by these 'incidences'. my two wrecks I never saw coming (loss of conscientious helps too), but last year's and now this one, it's like the image is burned into my mind. and I'm a visual person mind you

and to top it off, today's date is actually the anniversary of my crash (four years now)
I completely understand how you feel! I been involved in car accident myself! You are not alone!
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Attention Oct 20, 2019 at 02:34 AM
  #4
today I had to drive 25mins to the Walmart pharmacy to pick up a prescription. which is no problem and I do it all the time. it's just I got the prescription in the ER last night and since it was a weekend, the local drug store wasn't open.

I was barely ten minutes into my 25min-trip when my face started tingling. it did it the rest of the way there. it stopped when I was in the store and in another store. then it started again on the way back.

I know I've had one hell of a 37-hour time period here (medical stuff), but come on - is this not my body trying to tell me something?!?! it could have easily been a partial response to all the flashbacks I've been having today, medical and car-related ones!! which meant that throwing driving on top of that was just WAY too much, right?? [I have to make that same drive again on Tuesday ]

how to quiet the flashbacks so I can focus on the more urgent things?????
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Default Oct 20, 2019 at 02:43 AM
  #5
@jrae

The tingling you describe sounds like the same tingling my old roommate from way back used to feel after her car accident, which damaged her nerves. She said that her tingling was a medical condition, and it was sometimes painful tingling.

I'm wondering if your tingling is more medical than psychosomatic or due to flashbacks. Maybe it could be all of the above. What have your doctors said?

I'm sorry driving is such a trigger for you, and I'm sorry you're dealing with tingling. I hope you have safe travels and a good recovery from all this.
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jrae
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Attention Oct 30, 2019 at 11:57 PM
  #6
so I know I have a bunch of vehicle-related ptsd. and from some of the responses, a few of you out there know and understand what this is like.

I know it gets WAY worse in the winter, with what happened last year and the crappy road conditions and weather. normally I would just do as little driving as I could, and only when the weather and roads were decent. this way, limiting how bad things would get for me - how triggered I would be and the reaction due to that.

BUT this has been the year from h**l! and I am being *forced* into what I know is gonna be one h**l of a winter. I'm dealing with a brain injury and have to drive 145 miles one-way to see the specialty doctors! I was hoping to be done with this before winter but unfortunately, it appears as though things are not even slowing down!

I'm super terrified what this is gonna do to me - having to drive 'thru my ptsd' just to get to my appts and then again on the way back. I mean, that's over 2 1/2 hours of 'white-knuckle driving', then having to go into a doc appt and get your vitals taken! not sure how I can down-play my elevated heart-rate and bp.

with no friends to drive for me and me already being triggered by a medical-related traumatic event, how the h**l do I do this? any one out there got ANY ideas for me?? freakin out is an understatement right now
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