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Member Since Aug 2019
Location: washington state
Posts: 43
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#1
TTRIGGER WARNINGI have been severely guilt ridden with what I have done and doing. I have to get this out. I am still struggling with with my severe decision making that led me to trying to do myself in. After doing this was guilty for my dad having to deal with the aftermath which I still feel guilt over. The severe guilt is over me putting myself in the situation of stay at their house feeling I was beyond mentally ill. I mean thinking that i beyond any medication therapy, and possible institution. I still feel that way. Has anyone felt they were more severely mentally ill in a possible hypochondriac way? It got me thinking I needed to be on social security disability. I was going to apply and my parents thought I was just not wanting to work, etc made comments like what are going to do live on disability which made feel bad the severe guilt is I have literally just dumped myself in their house isolating for weeks in there house not just in the house but a room from sun up to sun down not eating and unable to face anyone from how i was thinking and feeling what of how i let things get like this feeling totally helpless and hopeless which I still feel. I am working now, only because I got pressure from my parents to work. I still feel i cant work, because because not only do i clinical depression i have that I'm too severely mentally ill in possible hypochondriac possible way?speaking of to severely mentally ill in hypochondriac way, has anyone else felt this way? Sorry to get of subject. I just don't know how long I can cope. It has bled into every once of my life. It is so bad I cannot focus in my work to where I just want to stay in and have been late to work several times . I don't want work with all of this. I am scared with anxiety i may loose my job and my parents will kick me out. And it is not enough to motivate and make things right. My parents I have been told that they are old school buck up etc and don't understand how bad things are for me in a mental health sense. I am trying to hang in there but not seeing light at the end of the tunnel.
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bshaffer836
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Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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#2
It's been a few days since you posted this. Hopefully you've been able to continue to "hang in there". I think you mentioned, in a previous post, that you see a therapist & that you are taking some variety of psych medication. Hopefully you are able to talk openly & honestly with your therapist about how you feel.
I don't know as there would be any other suggestions I could offer. However here are links to 7 articles, from PC's archives, that perhaps can provide some insight: When You Feel Absolutely Awful About Yourself—Regularly Breaking Free from the Bonds of Badness How to Stop Punishing Yourself A Technique for Feeling Painful Feelings 8 Steps to Like Yourself (More) https://psychcentral.com/guilt/ https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-y...ental-illness/ Best wishes... __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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WantPeaceofMind
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Member
Member Since Aug 2019
Location: washington state
Posts: 43
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#3
Thanks for your reply
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Member
Member Since Nov 2011
Location: midwest
Posts: 234
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#4
Hi. Not sure what you mean by "too severely mentally ill in hypochondriac way". I know I have days (weeks, etc.) where I am simply unable to cope, and do many of the things you are talking about experiencing yourself. Best way I can describe it is, a way it was put to me - mental illnesses aren't a one-size-fits-all, same all the time, issue. They ebb, they flow, they exist on a sort of spectrum of severity, and so sometimes you might be ok, other days you're totally not. Make sense? Doesn't mean you are a hypochondriac. I am sorry you're feeling such guilt over the struggles you are going through. I hope you are able to find a therapist / pdoc, whatever it takes, who can help you with your struggles. Depression can be extremely debilitating, but try to believe that it doesn't have to be a life sentence, either. Sometimes it can be overcome, sometimes when it can't be overcome it can still be managed.
__________________ Diagnosed: Prolonged PTSD (civilian) BPD Dissociation |
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