advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
childofchaos831
Elder
 
childofchaos831's Avatar
childofchaos831 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,037
5 yr Member
15 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 24, 2019 at 10:58 PM
  #1
This post is going to be triggering. I'm going to try to not go into detail, but I need to talk about the event for the feelings to make sense.

The event
Possible trigger:


I feel like it is my fault. Like I could have done something to stop it before it happened. I could have told someone, I could have gone to the doctor, my aunt was a social worker. I could have done something that would have prevented it. That's how it feels.

Logically, it's not that simple. The police wouldn't be able to hold him very long if they arrested him at all. I'd have to see him at school 5 days a week, I couldn't just get away from him. (We were 17.) Even if I didn't see him at school, I would be the girl that got him arrested. He was popular and I wasn't so much.

Recently, it's really been getting to me. I'm having more flashbacks and body memories. I can see and feel it happening all over again. These have caused me to
Possible trigger:


I'm in PHP and was in PHP in October and 2 weeks ago. The T there called for a welfare check on me both times when I didn't show up and he couldn't get me on the phone. In October, I called for help. Two weeks ago, those cops are the only way I was going to get help.

I just want to get over this, and I don't know how to do that. I bought a couple of books today on the topic, but I'm not sure I'll even be able to read them without breaking down.

Sorry, this got really long, if you are still reading, thank you...
Any replies would be greatly appreciated.

__________________


Diagnoses:
PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
childofchaos831 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, beauflow, Kathleen83, Open Eyes

advertisement
Nammu
Crone
 
Nammu's Avatar
Nammu has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 70,969 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
53.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 25, 2019 at 12:02 AM
  #2
I was married to a violent man, it does get better. It did take me years to stop the flashbacks but it does stop.

__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Nammu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
beauflow
 
Thanks for this!
childofchaos831
Kathleen83
Member
 
Kathleen83's Avatar
Kathleen83 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2011
Posts: 224
10 yr Member
95 hugs
given
Default Dec 27, 2019 at 12:44 AM
  #3
I'm glad you posted. I don't really have anything to offer...other than to let you know I hear you. I hope your therapist can help you find some relief.

__________________
Diagnosed:
Prolonged PTSD (civilian)
BPD
Major Depressive Disorder Moderate
Manic-Depressive Psychosis


Kathleen83 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
childofchaos831
Open Eyes
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,093 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
21.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 27, 2019 at 12:29 PM
  #4
Sorry to read that you are experiencing flashbacks from something you went through so long ago. Clearly you never really processed those events. I experienced flashbacks from so long ago myself and I was very frightened when experiencing these flashbacks. I could not understand why that was happening so many years later.

It's important to remember that whatever happened at that time was really not your fault and you did not know WHAT to do. Remember that it's always easier to look back and see things you could have done differently. It's important to understand how at that time you were much younger and you simply were not capable of understanding things like you do now in your life. Acknowledging these events are what slowly decreases the impact these flashbacks have on you, both visual and emotional as flashbacks contain both physical and emotional trauma.
Open Eyes is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
CutegirlS
 
Thanks for this!
childofchaos831
childofchaos831
Elder
 
childofchaos831's Avatar
childofchaos831 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,037
5 yr Member
15 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 27, 2019 at 08:58 PM
  #5
Thank you for the replies... I'm gonna try to respond when I get home, and I'm not on my phone.

__________________


Diagnoses:
PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
childofchaos831 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 30, 2019 at 03:36 PM
  #6
I miscarried at 12 weeks and, at the time, was in an extremely stressful relationship. I firmly believe that the stress of dealing with the man I was with at the time caused such a strong reaction in my body that my body got the signal of not being secure.

Getting the police involved is useless, imo.

Are you talking about your experience (which is terribly painful, I'm sure) in PHP? Are you safe now?

__________________




*Beth* is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Open Eyes
 
Thanks for this!
childofchaos831
childofchaos831
Elder
 
childofchaos831's Avatar
childofchaos831 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,037
5 yr Member
15 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 30, 2019 at 04:44 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags View Post
I miscarried at 12 weeks and, at the time, was in an extremely stressful relationship. I firmly believe that the stress of dealing with the man I was with at the time caused such a strong reaction in my body that my body got the signal of not being secure.

Getting the police involved is useless, imo.

Are you talking about your experience (which is terribly painful, I'm sure) in PHP? Are you safe now?
I am safe now. I'm talking about it with the PHP T and my individual T. I've mentioned it in PHP but haven't delved into it yet.

__________________


Diagnoses:
PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
childofchaos831 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Open Eyes
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:05 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.