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Old 01-23-2020, 01:07 PM   #1
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Default The “laws” of confusion :(

I have recently been communicating more than I used to (this was “always” “strongly discouraged” - at “best”)

I am quite sure I was programmed by various abusers in early childhood how “Wrong” it was to give “too much information” - or basically any information.. about how I am feeling, how the family is feeling, basically anything about the family aside from some strictly controlled and programmed nuggets. And if I did not “comply” .. it was Wrong.

Can anyone relate to having a very controlling “family of origin” and how uncovering more about this can be illuminating. And even being allowed to speak can be a taste of “freedom” which was not allowed during childhood ... I don’t need to be told to “move on” since that is the response I received in real life (with no input as to how to “move on” - simply further disconnection, disinterest, disinformation, and (maybe intentional) confusion. I could write more but in this moment I don’t have time.

Respect to all who read this and who can relate to posts in this forum.
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Old 01-23-2020, 02:17 PM   #2
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Default Re: The “laws” of confusion :(

I can definitely relate to having a "controlling" family, FuzzyBear. Not that they didn't do millions of absolutely sweet and kindhearted and generous and loving things for me for which I am eternally grateful.

I think their "controlling" behavior was the result of brain pathology and less than ideal upbringing.. -- Yaowen
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Old 01-24-2020, 12:17 PM   #3
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Default Re: The “laws” of confusion :(

I can relate dear Fuzzybear.

As a cub, I was very quiet. I speak out more now but often retreat and stay away from the world. The world is a pleasant place but the people in it are less so...

My cub was often told "children should be seen and not heard" if she dared to speak

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Old 02-02-2020, 02:22 PM   #4
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Default Re: The “laws” of confusion :(

My family had trunk-loads of secrets that I would not even imagined disclosing to anyone. Now, for the first time, I am telling those secrets in therapy.

dx: Bipolar 1 Disorder; CPTSD

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Old 02-02-2020, 03:17 PM   #5
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Heart Re: The “laws” of confusion :(

When I was growing up I was told: "You don't wash your dirty laundry in public." But then at a very early age I learned my parents didn't want to hear it either. So I just learned to keep it to myself. I'm 71 years old now. And I'm still doing it. (Old habits die hard.)
Speak only if you can improve upon the silence.
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