advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-23-2020, 01:07 PM   #1
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 87,190 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
64.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default The “laws” of confusion :(

I have recently been communicating more than I used to (this was “always” “strongly discouraged” - at “best”)

I am quite sure I was programmed by various abusers in early childhood how “Wrong” it was to give “too much information” - or basically any information.. about how I am feeling, how the family is feeling, basically anything about the family aside from some strictly controlled and programmed nuggets. And if I did not “comply” .. it was Wrong.

Can anyone relate to having a very controlling “family of origin” and how uncovering more about this can be illuminating. And even being allowed to speak can be a taste of “freedom” which was not allowed during childhood ... I don’t need to be told to “move on” since that is the response I received in real life (with no input as to how to “move on” - simply further disconnection, disinterest, disinformation, and (maybe intentional) confusion. I could write more but in this moment I don’t have time.

Respect to all who read this and who can relate to posts in this forum.
__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:

advertisement
Old 01-23-2020, 02:17 PM   #2
Yaowen
Grand Member
 
Yaowen's Avatar
Yaowen has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2020
Location: China
Posts: 828 (SuperPoster!)
1,452 hugs
given
Default Re: The “laws” of confusion :(

I can definitely relate to having a "controlling" family, FuzzyBear. Not that they didn't do millions of absolutely sweet and kindhearted and generous and loving things for me for which I am eternally grateful.

I think their "controlling" behavior was the result of brain pathology and less than ideal upbringing.. -- Yaowen
Yaowen is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 01-24-2020, 12:17 PM   #3
Thirty shades
Grand Magnate
 
Thirty shades's Avatar
Thirty shades Much love to all
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 3,270 (SuperPoster!)
1 yr Member
12.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: The “laws” of confusion :(

I can relate dear Fuzzybear.

As a cub, I was very quiet. I speak out more now but often retreat and stay away from the world. The world is a pleasant place but the people in it are less so...

My cub was often told "children should be seen and not heard" if she dared to speak

Hugs and respect
Thirty shades is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-02-2020, 02:22 PM   #4
BethRags
Magnate
 
BethRags's Avatar
BethRags is practicing healthy breathing.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown California
Posts: 2,755 (SuperPoster!)
2,660 hugs
given
Default Re: The “laws” of confusion :(

My family had trunk-loads of secrets that I would not even imagined disclosing to anyone. Now, for the first time, I am telling those secrets in therapy.
__________________




dx: Bipolar 1 Disorder; CPTSD

BethRags is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 02-02-2020, 03:17 PM   #5
Skeezyks
Reclusive Old Troll
 
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: L'Etoile du Nord
Posts: 24,634 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
14k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Heart Re: The “laws” of confusion :(

When I was growing up I was told: "You don't wash your dirty laundry in public." But then at a very early age I learned my parents didn't want to hear it either. So I just learned to keep it to myself. I'm 71 years old now. And I'm still doing it. (Old habits die hard.)
__________________
Speak only if you can improve upon the silence.
Skeezyks is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:11 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.