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Old 02-11-2020, 07:58 AM   #1
Catlovers141
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Default How to feel safe

I've always struggled a lot with feeling safe, and with the uncertainty that comes with living. It is hard to live with the fact that no matter what you do, you can't 100% guarantee your own safety or that the trauma will not happen again. This has led me to add more and more locks and security devices around my home, and it never feels like enough. I've come to realize that no matter what I do to the house, there is always going to be that uncertainty and therefore the discomfort that comes with it. How do you deal with that? How do you manage knowing that you can't protect yourself totally and that your original trauma could occur in the future?
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Old 02-11-2020, 11:32 AM   #2
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Default Re: How to feel safe

Actually, this is normal in being human, and most living things do worry about being safe. What can make it more challenging is that when something does happen that traumatizes us, we become even more concerned about our safety. PTSD is a condition that magnifies the our fears, and this is what can become a challenge for a person depending on their personal history where they may have grown up in an environment where they never found a true sense of safety and formed a more confident personal sense of identity and developed a sense of confidence in "self".

The other things about questioning one's sense of safety that is normal is that it's the driving force within our humanity that led to our becoming more nomadic in search of food and safety which contributed to how we gradually inhabited many different contenents on our planet.
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Old 02-11-2020, 12:57 PM   #3
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Default Re: How to feel safe

I agree with Open Eyes about feeling unsafe being human, particularly in this day and age of cyber crime and identity theft.

Have you tried safe space visualization? It's a meditative practice that is part of dialectical behavioral therapy and can be very effective in helping you feel grounded.
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Old 02-11-2020, 01:01 PM   #4
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Default Re: How to feel safe

Thank you both for your responses. I have done the safe space meditation, but have not done so recently -- maybe that could be something to try.

I agree that it is part of being human; no one can guarantee their safety. But I think some people are better at coping with that uncertainty with others, and that is what I am wondering how to do.
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Old 02-12-2020, 01:38 PM   #5
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Default Re: How to feel safe

Hi Catlover,

Feeling safe is paramount to survival. It is okay to do whatever it takes to feel safe! What makes you feel safe? Explore things if you haven't found something adaquete enough. I recommend looking up DBT skills and using them.


I cuddle teddy bears, wear diapers and hide under blanket forts. I read bedtime stories and watch cartoons too. This is what I do to feel safe in our darkened world.


Part of feeling safe for trauma survivors is also found in feeling less alone. Sharing one anothers pain and misery can be enough to realize that not everyone in this world is evil. There are good people and often times we re-establish a sense of safety in the world when we find others who understand and empathize with us. I hope you find that! Interpersonal traumas is what most of us struggle with, and the only way to heal that is through engaging in healthy interpersonal relationships that model trust, safety, nurture. Who better than fellow sufferers that understand.

I hope this helps.


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Old 02-13-2020, 05:10 AM   #6
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Default Re: How to feel safe

I wish I had some suggestion. I'm struggling with the very issue you've mentioned...therapy is helpful, but I'm still more stuck on worry about everyday life than I'd like to be.
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Old 05-12-2020, 12:38 PM   #7
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Default Re: How to feel safe

Look up "hyper vigilence". It is so draining when I allow it to run rampant. Sometimes knowing your condition can help you consciously stop your mind, then counteract it with rational comforting thoughts.
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