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Liv42
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Default Jun 13, 2020 at 10:29 PM
  #1
Hi. Im new here. I have been diagnosed with CPTSD. I am a Survivor of Domestic Sex Trafficking and opened my own anti-trafficking non profit. Due to the constant things I am subjected to through my work, my doctors believe that my PTSD symptoms have relapsed and gotten worse.

I don't get it. I was doing very well. Now Im so depressed, panicky and the negative thoughts that are in my days now are overwhelming.

I have been told to take a break from my work..but there are so many that need help and I hate walking away.

Anyone relate? Has your work or something else made your PTSD worse? Did you decide to walk away? I just don't think I can live with myself after all I know in this work, to just walk away.
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Smile Jun 14, 2020 at 12:16 PM
  #2
Hello Liv: There isn't anything I can offer with regard to your concerns. However I noticed this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central.

Here are links to 5 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of cPTSD:

The Unique Features of Complex PTSD

Complex Trauma: Dissociation, Fragmentation, and Self Understanding

C-PTSD and Interpersonal Relationships

Affect Dysregulation and C-PTSD

Recovery from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

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Default Jun 15, 2020 at 09:46 PM
  #3
It sounds like you wanted to help others that struggle from abuse because you genuinely want to be a caring presence.

It’s very possible that while you genuinely want to help others sitting and listening to others describe their abuse can be traumatizing for you to listen to constantly.

It’s understandable that you may need to take a break from that and perhaps engage in more therapeutic type therapy like art therapy or music therapy that instead of constantly focusing on listening to abuse stories you are engaging in skill building therapy.
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Default Jun 19, 2020 at 12:30 AM
  #4
I highly recommend you listen to those around you that take a break from this work. Continuously subjecting yourself to triggering stories can cause your PTSD to strengthen its hold on you. I know this first hand and have also lost a dear friend to exactly your situation. The internal terror of trying to help others before he was fully healed was too much for him to bear in the end. I would hate to see this happen to anyone else. Sexual abuse on the level you are dealing with is extremely intense. Maybe you can step back and handle more administrative duties until you have given your brain a break.

God bless you for all you have been through and done to help others. You are brave.
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Default Jun 19, 2020 at 02:51 AM
  #5
Sadly, I agree. It seems like your line of work is a constant trigger for you. I can sense your desire to help. and I understand it.
Maybe the best way to help is to more fully address your own PTSD first, so that you can be strong and solid base to help others afterwards.
I understand that you want to be 'stronger' than that and just deal with it now. But maybe if you could, you would have already.
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Default Jul 03, 2020 at 10:21 AM
  #6
I'm mainly here to give you a big hug
I don't know much about PTSD, but take care of yourself. You are obviously a fighter, but sometimes old demons jump on us. Give yourself time to fight it properly! Self defence isn't something to feel guilty about, even if it's against memories.
It's often impossible to fight on many fronts simultaneously. You should neither tear yourself apart trying, nor tear yourself apart with self-blame. You need to be strong to be of help to others, and strong doesn't mean carrying the world on your shoulders. It means realizing when something weakens you and confronting it. Trying to just bear with it is often no better than turning your back to the problem, asking for it to break you further. I've been there, despite being through way less than you did. So you surely need to be careful.
Is it possible to get extra personell to handle more of the triggering situations? I agree to the suggestion of you handling more administrative duties. You already built an entire non-profit for your purpose, think of what you can do for it to keep being helpful even when you're not personally involved in the triggering stuff. If you find hard to trust others to do that part of the work, which I can completely understand, then you can focus working on your people skills and your management skills. You don't have to walk away, but you probably have to adjust the way you work. There are many ways to help.
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