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guy1111
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Default Aug 21, 2020 at 12:11 AM
  #1
I was doing really well processing a molestation memory. After several weeks I got my anxiety level about it down to a 2 out of 10. My therapist always asks me where in my body I feel bad. I always had felt it mostly in my stomach and some in my chest. Then she asked me what is keeping me at a 2? I told her there was one vague feeling I can't work out. She asked where I feel it in my body. For some reason I said, I feel it in my head like a headache. She asked me to focus on it and as I started to, I was suddenly overwhelmed and started to dissociate. I panicked and almost had a full flashback and was triggered back at a 10! We had to end the session early and I spent the last 10 minutes trying to come back to the present and calm down. I felt awful and defeated like I had to start all over. I was doing so well. Any thoughts?
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Default Aug 21, 2020 at 01:45 AM
  #2
Dear Guy,

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you. I'm sorry to hear about the trauma of the molestation you went through. No one deserves to go through that!

Many years ago, a therapist told me I might have PTSD. I had a lot of childhood trauma. There were moments in therapy where the emotions got too powerful, and I had to stop, because they were terrifying. But at a later point, when I had more social support outside of therapy, I had a flashback about some of my experiences. In my case, I realized that I needed more support in my life before I could process the emotions in therapy.

The fact that you got as far as you did is a good sign. I hope you will not be hard on yourself about it. What do they say--it's like peeling an onion. It's okay to go slower or just work on a very small amount at a time till you feel ready.
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Default Aug 21, 2020 at 09:38 AM
  #3
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Originally Posted by Scarlet Alexis View Post
Dear Guy,

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you. I'm sorry to hear about the trauma of the molestation you went through. No one deserves to go through that!

Many years ago, a therapist told me I might have PTSD. I had a lot of childhood trauma. There were moments in therapy where the emotions got too powerful, and I had to stop, because they were terrifying. But at a later point, when I had more social support outside of therapy, I had a flashback about some of my experiences. In my case, I realized that I needed more support in my life before I could process the emotions in therapy.

The fact that you got as far as you did is a good sign. I hope you will not be hard on yourself about it. What do they say--it's like peeling an onion. It's okay to go slower or just work on a very small amount at a time till you feel ready.
Ok, thanks! You are right. I was just now thinking. A while back my therapist told me that I was just looking at the tip of the iceberg. I laughed to myself. I thought, no way! I am almost done with therapy.
Now I think that I just broke my own expectations. This is going to take a lot more time. You are right. I should just be patient. It's hard though, but I really appreciate you validating my feelings.
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Default Aug 21, 2020 at 09:45 AM
  #4
This new feeling has me puzzled. I wonder what the headache feeling means. I rarely get headaches. Most of my trauma related problems are felt in my chest because anxiety causes me breathing problems. And most of my molestation memories are felt in my stomach because the memories feel gross.

But as soon as I started feeling a headache and confusion I went back into total relapse. Any thoughts?
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Default Aug 21, 2020 at 06:32 PM
  #5
A.headache can come from anxiety too guy. It’s a stress headache. It’s possible that whenever you experienced this challenge it caused you to stress. Only children don’t have any idea what that means. They also call this headache a tension headache.

Please don’t just assume you are going backwards just because something new comes forward.

Did you experience this while doing EMDR?
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Default Aug 21, 2020 at 10:29 PM
  #6
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Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
A.headache can come from anxiety too guy. It’s a stress headache. It’s possible that whenever you experienced this challenge it caused you to stress. Only children don’t have any idea what that means. They also call this headache a tension headache.

Please don’t just assume you are going backwards just because something new comes forward.

Did you experience this while doing EMDR?
Ok, great info! I will read up on that. I just want to be fully informed so I get the most out of therapy.

Yes, I am doing EMDR. I know some beleive it is dangerous, but my therapist is very good. That is why she stopped me and spent the rest of the session calming me down. She will even go over the 1 hour if I can't get calm enough to feel safe to leave.

My parents are in town and my sponsor suggested I make an amends to them while they are here. I am very reluctant as they are the core reason I am in therapy. But I am trying to work up the courage. It should only take me a couple of minutes and a few sentences and will be a big weight off my shoulders.
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