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Old 06-12-2010, 05:32 PM #1
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Default Had my little girl but...

After I gave birth, CPS came and basically made me feel like crap. They told me they are investigating me and etc. (note - this was right after her birth!) > My damn OB told them I had Schizo-affective disorder.

So they came to MY house and searched for I dont know what, asked me a tons of question, interrogated my fiancee, and then made me give them the names/numbers of family members and friends OR ELSE they would take my daughter!!!! :0 So, I was scared, gave them everything and then they left.

Ive been so stressed out from their probing and the fear that they will take my child away because I was diagnosed with SAD! Its not fair!!! I havent done ANYTHING wrong, no harmful feelings nothing!!!! Ive been doing SOO much better during my pregnancy - then I get crucified by CPS. >

Anyways, this left me very depressed. I love my daughter, but maybe I am a bad mom...bet they would LOVE to hear that. But why are they doing this? Answer - I stopped my counseling during pregnancy. Thats the reason why.

I need help NOW (the entire CPS thing topped me over the edge), but NO WAY! Im WAY too scared now to get help! CPS will stick their nose into my counseling! I feel so helpless right now! Its like a nightmare! If I see a counselor to vent - CPS will come around. If I do not - then I have to keep feeling cruddy. Wont even go into details (paranoid). Just want a confidential ( a real confidential) ear to listen to me and give advice.
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Old 06-13-2010, 02:17 AM #2
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Default Re: Had my little girl but...

I would highly recommend calling a suicide prevention hotline. I called one when I was actually suicidal and they told me to call back even if I just needed someone to talk to. It's confidential and staffed by people who are trained, although not usually actual therapists. But just being able to talk to someone compassionate outside the situation with out fear may be helpful.

Also, do you have family or friends who can support you? It must be very scary for you right now, but withdrawing is probably the worst thing you can do. Not only is it good for you personally to reach out for support, if you are talking to people, they will honestly be able to say that you are dealing with any issues you have in healthy ways.

And I know it probably sound impossible, but try not to obsess over the whole CPS thing. It won't help anything and could easily make everything worse. Throw yourself into taking care of yourself and your precious daughter in healthy ways. When the thoughts and fears start creeping in, tell yourself that you are going to prove them wrong by being a wonderful, healthy mom for your daughter. And try not to let the fact that they came into your home and pushed all your buttons make you doubt yourself as a mother. I have 5 kids myself and I promise you that if you care enough to worry about whether you are a good mom or not, you are almost certainly a good mom.

Congratulations on your daughter's arrival. I'll say an extra prayer for you and your baby tonight!
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Old 06-18-2010, 02:31 PM #3
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Default Re: Had my little girl but...

Couselling will be CONFIDENTIAL, as far as I'm aware, so they might know you're going to therapy or counselling but they won't know anything more than that. But surely as far as they're concerned, if you are IN counselling that is a positive thing because it means you're managing your problems?
I'm in the UK but I assume it's the same, therapy is confidential, they won't discuss anything with anyone else UNLESS they feel there is an actual risk to you or someone else, and that isn't the case with you so it would be confidential. Maybe try ringing up and asking about their confidentiality, express your concern and ask if it would be suitable for you. Maybe you could book one session to discuss all of that, and then if you are ressurred you could have ongoing therapy? It is probably best for you and your daughter, and they won't take her off you unless there is a danger to her, and there isn't.

Maybe call a helpline as well, or instead, to ask for advice and info on this all.
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Old 06-23-2010, 09:45 AM #4
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Default Re: Had my little girl but...

Lisa is right. Therapy is confidential. And CPS has no right to take your baby girl away for taking therapy. They have no right telling you that they will if you did'nt provide them with all that stuff. And your OB had no right telling CPS about your condition. She's an OB not a psychologist The OB should have seen you were not a harm to youself or or baby therefore she had no business calling CPS on you. This kind of stuff mkes me mad. Just because you have some kind of MI you are automatticlly a bad parent. Well I'll just tell ya right now, some of the worst parents I have seen have been "normal". Hang in there. And if CPS harrasses you anymore talk to your county attorney.
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Old 06-23-2010, 10:50 AM #5
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Default Re: Had my little girl but...

Nyphera, I am so sorry this is happeneing to you. I had a son 18 months ago and had something similar happen. Someone called CPS on me and said I was actually going to hurt my baby. I had to go see them, make a plan as in, who do I have for support, who lives with me, do I feel safe....all that stuff they wanted from you. I don't think they didn't in a very nice manner. I understand CPS wants to help the child but sometimes you get some that just don't care about the parent and all the want is the child out of the home for whatever reason.

Any ways, I was in counseling at the time and they did want to talk to my T. My T talked to me first, then he did talk to the CPS people, but I knew exactly how he would answer their questions. I had to sign off on it since there was no evidence on his part to show that I was hurting my child. he didn't freely give up information only answered their direct questions. CPS cannot just take your child b/c of a MI condition. If you were in actively suicidal then they may make a plan for you not to be alone with your child, but they have to prove that you have neglected or plan to neglect or hurt your child. They just can't come and take the child away. There has to be proof that you are going to or already did something. It sounds to me that they have nothing on you other than having a MI and that is proof of nothing.

First, I would get with a T, you may not have any feelings of hurting your child or yourself, but I know my T helped get me through a lot of issues being a mom. Especially if this is your first. It is a trying time even without any bad feelings of harming someone or yourself. So I think that would be good. CPS will then see that you are going some place.

Second, if CPS continues get some legal help. They cannot just keep after you when there is no proof of anything.

Good luck. Please PM if you need to talk. I would be more than happy to.
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Old 07-28-2010, 08:08 AM #6
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Default Re: Had my little girl but...

I work in child welfare. CPS DOES NOT want to take your baby! They just want to make sure you are taking care of her properly. There are no set guidelines on how you should care for your child, however, there are set guidlines on how you should not care for your child. CPS people can be cold hearted and mean. They seem like the enemy. And to some they are. But as long as you are caring for you baby there is not much they can do just because you have an MI. It does not work that way. If you are seeing a therapist you may have to sign a consent form so your therapist can release information. But it's just basic information like are you a threat to your baby, yourself, etc... If you tell you therapist you are having thoughts of harming your child you therapist should be able to determine whether these are thoughts or if it's a direct threat. And that would not be shared with CPS unless it was a threat. Therapists don't share content. They share the basic information.
Anyway, if you have any more concerns or questions in regards to this please let me know. I have bipolar II, have suffered from PPD, have general anxiety and I work in the CPS field. So, professionally and personally I would be happy to offer you support.
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