advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
NowhereUSA
Magnate
 
NowhereUSA's Avatar
NowhereUSA has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 2,490
8 yr Member
Default Jun 26, 2014 at 06:00 PM
  #1
if you had ppd, how long did it last? i have regular depression but there's this extra layer ever since having a baby a year ago.

i feel terrible my baby cries and i want to scream. when he's a happy baby i'm happy but when he's upset my anxiety shoots up really high. this is my second kid. if i hear a baby cry like on tv or nearby, my anxiety shoots up and i want to punch a wall or hide and scream. when he was first born sometimes i would hide and cover my ears and my hubs would have to deal with him.

i'm in therapy and antidepressants don't work. i have a med my doc uses off label that had dealt mostly with my regular depression before i got pregnant (couldn't take while preggo). but it hasn't worked since having my baby

i'm very depressed and my t is very, very worried about me as is my hubs. it's been a year and i'm only getting worse.
NowhereUSA is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
joj14
 
Thanks for this!
joj14

advertisement
glok
Account Suspended
glok has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: South Overshoe
Posts: 7,657 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 26, 2014 at 06:35 PM
  #2
Hello, NowhereUSA. Each of us is different. What works for one does not always work for all.

My thought is you must be more assertive in getting your treatment team more proactive in helping you.
glok is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
NowhereUSA
Magnate
 
NowhereUSA's Avatar
NowhereUSA has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 2,490
8 yr Member
Default Jun 26, 2014 at 06:38 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by glok View Post
Hello, NowhereUSA. Each of us is different. What works for one does not always work for all.

My thought is you must be more assertive in getting your treatment team more proactive in helping you.
i appreciate the sentiment but i will defend my treatment team. i've been incredibly assertive and my t has been working hard to help me. helping me get an earlier appt with my pdoc and giving me some ideas to go talk with my pcp with (who also had some ideas). the problem is that standard treatment doesn't work for me.
NowhereUSA is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
buzz bee
Veteran Member
 
buzz bee's Avatar
buzz bee has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Between here and there
Posts: 573
8 yr Member
33 hugs
given
Default Jul 25, 2014 at 06:49 AM
  #4
I know that feeling so well. My spine would hurt from my epidural spot. It stressed me out. The poor kid had colic as well.

Baby 2 came and I spiraled. She cried all the time and I knew it was from the stress I was feeling. When she was sleeping I was either taking care of my son or throwing up.

I think it started tapering off around 4 months. I always had anxiety as a part of my parenting when the kids were young. I think its a person to person thing.

I wish I would have had more help then I did. My normal doctor gave me anti depression med. What I really needed was a therapist. I needed someone other then friends to talk to. I am also bipolar, I had no idea. So I suggest to go to your doctor. Make sure there is no under line problem. See a therapist and try to find some mommy time just for you.

__________________
I asked God to keep me safe from my enemies, now half my friends are gone.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Bipolar I
MDD
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Lamictal-100mg
Effexor-225mg
Trazodone-100mg
propranolol 80mg

Last edited by buzz bee; Jul 25, 2014 at 06:50 AM.. Reason: spellling error
buzz bee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
NowhereUSA
NowhereUSA
Magnate
 
NowhereUSA's Avatar
NowhereUSA has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 2,490
8 yr Member
Default Jul 25, 2014 at 12:25 PM
  #5
thanks. i'm seeing a pdoc and i see a therapist weekly so i do have that support. it's just a rough ride. and now my baby is a year old and turning into a toddler. which means he is starting to be demanding. argle bargle flargle. sometimes i want to ship him off to toddler boarding school. i don't think they have those.

but mostly i want to feel okay. i want to love my kiddos and connect with them

__________________
“It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of.” ― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed
NowhereUSA is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
buzz bee
Veteran Member
 
buzz bee's Avatar
buzz bee has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Between here and there
Posts: 573
8 yr Member
33 hugs
given
Default Jul 27, 2014 at 11:30 AM
  #6
Try to relax and enjoy these moments. It really is true it goes so fast. You might not see that right now, but its in a blink.

A nurse once told me this
Our real goal is to raise a child to be respectful, generous, kind, and educated. They are our future and doing whats best for them. Also it important they know they are loved and excepted.

Hug them, kiss them, play with them, and enjoy them while they explore the world.

__________________
I asked God to keep me safe from my enemies, now half my friends are gone.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Bipolar I
MDD
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Lamictal-100mg
Effexor-225mg
Trazodone-100mg
propranolol 80mg

Last edited by buzz bee; Jul 27, 2014 at 11:33 AM.. Reason: Rephrase
buzz bee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
NowhereUSA
Magnate
 
NowhereUSA's Avatar
NowhereUSA has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 2,490
8 yr Member
Default Jul 28, 2014 at 08:14 AM
  #7
i guess that's the problem with ppd. i don't want my kids right now. i don't feel good when i hug them or play with them. it feels like a torturous chore that i have to do. i'd rather just crawl into bed with the covers over my head. (i kind of feel worse now - great, i'm going to suffer through this ppd during times i "should" be enjoying and there's not really a damn thing i can do about it).

__________________
“It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of.” ― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed
NowhereUSA is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
NoIdeaWhatToDo
Member
NoIdeaWhatToDo has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: California
Posts: 485
8 yr Member
463 hugs
given
Default Aug 19, 2014 at 03:53 PM
  #8
I realize this thread is stale now, and am not sure if you'll come back to read it. I wanted to say, though, that I totally understand what you're going through. I love my kids, but had really bad PPD with both of them. Being around them wasn't fulfilling when they were little...I didn't have the energy or the stability to 'just relax and enjoy them'. Every cry lit me up inside, and even when they were playful and happy, often I was still too overwhelmed with the PPD to join in or appreciate it. I totally know what you mean when you say you don't want the kids right now, and that you feel like they're a chore. I know how it feels when you aren't connecting with them emotionally (at least the 'good' emotions). I also know how soul-crushing it is to be aware that we're supposed to be all these things to our children and they're supposed to be fulfilling our souls, and to have that not be your experience. I felt (and still do, often) ashamed of that, broken, like a failure as a mother. And it didn't feel like there was a damn thing I could do about it. The helpful advice from others to just enjoy this time was like a knife in my gut every time...if I could have 'just enjoyed' it, I would have! That was the problem. Pointing out what I already knew were my shortcomings wasn't helpful or supportive - just contributed more to the self-loathing, frustration, grief and anger.

With my first, I don't think I ever really came out of it...it got slightly better after about a year or so, but not awesome. Then I got pregnant again & had a miscarriage. Hormones went all over the place. Honestly, I don't have very many memories at all from her first several years...I see videos I took and don't remember being there. I never sought treatment during this time, which was really a bad idea, looking back.

When I had my son (almost 4 years after my daughter), I got the PPD again, but worse. This time, I talked to my doctor; she prescribed me an anti-depressant at around 6 months or so. It helped with the really low parts, but muted everything. I became really apathetic...nothing was enjoyable. It was better than the depression for me, but my husband thinks it was almost worse. I weaned off those another 6 months or so later (could have been longer). I think the depression finally cleared up when my son was 18 months to 2 years old.

Really good for the past almost 2 years. Then another major episode has kicked in now...just my regular depression. Those couple of years were nice, though.
NoIdeaWhatToDo is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Caseymoff
Member
Caseymoff has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Ontario
Posts: 25
8 yr Member
Default Aug 20, 2014 at 07:01 AM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoIdeaWhatToDo View Post
I realize this thread is stale now, and am not sure if you'll come back to read it. I wanted to say, though, that I totally understand what you're going through. I love my kids, but had really bad PPD with both of them. Being around them wasn't fulfilling when they were little...I didn't have the energy or the stability to 'just relax and enjoy them'. Every cry lit me up inside, and even when they were playful and happy, often I was still too overwhelmed with the PPD to join in or appreciate it. I totally know what you mean when you say you don't want the kids right now, and that you feel like they're a chore. I know how it feels when you aren't connecting with them emotionally (at least the 'good' emotions). I also know how soul-crushing it is to be aware that we're supposed to be all these things to our children and they're supposed to be fulfilling our souls, and to have that not be your experience. I felt (and still do, often) ashamed of that, broken, like a failure as a mother. And it didn't feel like there was a damn thing I could do about it. The helpful advice from others to just enjoy this time was like a knife in my gut every time...if I could have 'just enjoyed' it, I would have! That was the problem. Pointing out what I already knew were my shortcomings wasn't helpful or supportive - just contributed more to the self-loathing, frustration, grief and anger.

With my first, I don't think I ever really came out of it...it got slightly better after about a year or so, but not awesome. Then I got pregnant again & had a miscarriage. Hormones went all over the place. Honestly, I don't have very many memories at all from her first several years...I see videos I took and don't remember being there. I never sought treatment during this time, which was really a bad idea, looking back.

When I had my son (almost 4 years after my daughter), I got the PPD again, but worse. This time, I talked to my doctor; she prescribed me an anti-depressant at around 6 months or so. It helped with the really low parts, but muted everything. I became really apathetic...nothing was enjoyable. It was better than the depression for me, but my husband thinks it was almost worse. I weaned off those another 6 months or so later (could have been longer). I think the depression finally cleared up when my son was 18 months to 2 years old.

Really good for the past almost 2 years. Then another major episode has kicked in now...just my regular depression. Those couple of years were nice, though.
I understand, and my depression has turned into recurrent depression, unfortunately. Talk to a doctor, staying on a low dosage of an antidepressant for long term might be an answer (for life, but low dose) to prevent relapse. Good luck
Caseymoff is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:16 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.