Possibly time to try meds again...

I've been with treatment resistant depression for about 4 years. I've tried lexapro, effexor, desven, nortryptyline alongside a few different therapists and therapies. Ultimately, I found antidepressants to either have no effect on me, or to cause bad side effects, so I've been completely off all meds for close to 2 years now.

Psychotherapy has been good to me, as I believe that I do have a lot to work in the room. It's been 'enough' I suppose to pass me by during this time. But after the last year or so of changes, I'm wondering if I may need to try meds yet again. Some of the feelings that I am experiencing, are in my opinion, completely out of my mental control. I don't know where they come from, or how they come to be. So I'm not sure, maybe it's time for me to try again..

Honestly, I don't really want to be on meds for a number of reasons. The first being that I think if I really tried, I could cope without them - I've made it this far.. I also don't want the side effects, especially in the job that I am in which requires me to drive an ambulance. I can hardly risk drowsy or disruptive side effects can I. I also don't want to try another med, that doesn't work, and to then have to go through withdrawals.

Life is difficult. Though perhaps I've answered my own question by posting this..

I'm sorry you're in the midst of a tougher time. I don't know the answers, or what's right for you, but I can empathize with wondering if meds are needed, but not wanting to take them (for very similar things). I hope you find what's right for you-whether that's a specific med or something else.

I would consider meds again only if something new has come on the market that you haven't tried, and both you and your pdoc 7th no might help.

I read your post, and what you are going through really touched my heart. I truly sympathize with your dilemma. I know you must be so discouraged!

You mentioned that you think you may have treatment resistant depression because you have not had success with antidepressants. I’ve done some reading on the subject of treatment resistant depression and it’s kind of uncommon. If you want to find out more, let me know. I think I have an article somewhere on it.

If you don’t mind sharing, I have a few questions. When you were being treated before, were you given medication(s) by your doc? If so, how long were the meds prescribed and were the dosages maintained or were they increased during that same time period? Did you review the success/lack of success of the meds with the doc at the end of that trial period? Did he/she prescribe addl meds or change them and extend or begin a new trial period? How long did you try the medication route (3/6/9/12/8/24 months, etc.)?

I’m asking these questions because I’ve found, (over the course of many years of changing and adjusting my meds), that getting the right medication and/or combination takes time, patience, and trial and error. I’m sure that’s not what you want to hear but unfortunately that is the way it is. Although no one can make you any promises, you should not suffer if a solution can be found, even if you have to take a few months to find one with the help of your doctor. With your depression occurring at intermittent to regular intervals, perhaps you should give antidepressants another try,

I’m cheering for you!