I want to stop taking my meds

After a lot of thought, I've decided it's probably best for me to go off most or all my meds. I'm posting this because I want to know if this sounds like a good idea or not.

I'm 21 and diagnosed with "bipolar disorder with borderline features." I do not agree with my bipolar diagnosis -- I think I only have borderline personality disorder, but that's a thread for another time.

I'm currently taking Effexor (300 mg), Lamictal (200 mg), and Vraylar (3 mg). I also take Adderall (40 mg) for fatigue, but that's not something I want to come off right now. I think the Adderall is the only good thing going for me right now.

My husband thinks my meds have actually made me worse. He said he's never seen me this bad before.

Without my Adderall, I'm incredibly lethargic and can sleep for a whole day straight. I've only started feeling like this since I started taking my main three psych meds, not my Adderall. I also feel apathetic and I have almost no interest in anything, let alone goals in life. Sometimes (but rarely) I get so depressed and hopeless, I feel like I should just end my life. Those feelings eventually go away, though -- thankfully.

I do not feel like my meds help my depression. I think they make me tired and even more depressed. The only upside to my meds is I've noticed a difference in moodiness, feeling paranoid/jealous, and my social anxiety is almost completely gone. I'm not as argumentative and aggressive as I used to be, and people seem more "tolerable." I don't think in black-and-white anymore, e.g. I don't split on people.

Another reason I want to stop taking my meds is because I hate Effexor and its side effects! If I miss a dose or take it too late in the day, I feel like crap physically. I get nauseated and experience the worst brain zaps. I don't want to live with these effects for the rest of my life.

I'm aware of the dangers of going off psych meds, especially Effexor, so I would be weaning off slowly. I'm not too happy about the idea of having to wean off for a year probably, but I'll try to cope.

I want to know if anyone has experience with weaning off any of the meds I'm on. I'd also like to know if being off meds as someone with bipolar disorder and/or borderline personality disorder is a good idea.

I kinda just wanna try being on Adderall. Is that a bad idea?

Talk to your pdoc. Take a print out of what you said here and give it to him/her. Talking with your pdoc is the most important thing before going off meds. Good luck.

This is a really sensitive topic, medication vs. anti-medication. There's plenty of literature to support both viewpoints. I'm hesitant to say this, but I lean toward the latter. I was kind of impressed the first time I got a "cocktail" of meds, thinking that it seemed eminently logical, if not brilliant, until I started suffering the horrid side effects: mind-numbing fatigue, blurry vision, a sense of dread/doom/terror, weight gain, tremor. Some people (maybe most) think that the benefits outweigh the risks. If you're getting trustworthy feedback that you're not improving, I would seriously consider that. If you trust your pdoc, even better. I like my pdoc, but he has this way of throwing a pill at every problem, and deep down I just don't believe I'm that defective. IMHO, maybe I just don't need to be fixed.

On the other hand, I do take the least possible doses of AP, AD, and MS, 'cause I'm still a little scared.

If you don't have ADHD, then why would you stay on Adderall if you go off all of your medications? My assumption is that the Adderall is only to help boost your energy levels that might be lowered because of bipolar medication sedation with depression maybe also present. But if you are bipolar, it would be a bad idea to take Adderall without moodstabilizers. If you are not bipolar, then are you sure Adderall alone would be your doctor's choice for depression related only to BPD and/or unipolar depression?

What is your plan? To tell your doctor you need his/her help weaning you off your meds? Or not telling him/her and just doing your own thing? Either way, there might be an issue if he/she found out you were only wanting to take the stimulant for reasons like just wanting an energy boost.

In the past when I have tried to do this on my own, in a very slow, controlled way it didn't go well. I am very fortunate to have a great psychiatrist. My meds are truly a collaborative effort between the two of us. If I have sound reasoning regarding my meds he hears me out, I hear him out, then we make a mutually agreeable plan.

in round 1...before the miracle meds made things better...the meds made things worse. so, i have a sense of where you're coming from.

i understand wanting to reduce your psych drugs. just...be careful, have your husband watch you, and do it slowly as possible...

I would work with your doctor and see if you can take the least amount of medications. I used to take a potpourri of medications and had so many side effects, I was truly disabled. I now take one medication which is not 100 percent effective but takes away 90 percent of my symptoms. The 10 percent of symptoms I bear with now are not as bad as the other 90 percent. If I could, I would do without medication. However, I tried this about four times and realized each time I got off, I was hospitalized until the doctor suggested I have ECT which for me is not necessary. Thus, I received talk therapy which helped me to understand my need to take medication although it is just one medication. I always take my medication now. I take Abilify about 15 mg daily. It works and I have no complaints so far with it. The 10 percent residual symptoms that I have, I just deal with it by writing on this site or writing my pen pals. My parents think I am doing ok which is the reason I'm all alone in another country surviving independently. I think if I was really ill again, I would not be able to live in another country. The immigration officials would kick me out some how. Also, there was one foreigner who went off his bipolar medication here and was sent to a mental hospital and tied down against his will. He was left unsupervised and the last time they checked on him, they found him dead. I hear horror stories all of the time but this went straight to my gut and made me feel scared about becoming non-compliant. I am careful because of this and take my medication daily. As for you, I would tell the doctor you feel really awful with your current regimen and ask for a change. I did not ask but found out after going off my medications completely that the only one medication I really needed was my anti-psychotic medication. For some reason, Abilify affects my thinking and actions. I'm dependent on it and would never go off it again for the life of me.


The story below can happen anywhere but unfortunately it hit to close to me and made me realize my mental illness is my responsibility and being compliant is part of being responsible.


The story of the New Zealand man who died in restraints.
https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/hea...nese-hospitals