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AgitatedMuffin
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Default May 29, 2019 at 08:27 PM
  #1
Hi,

I'm going to do my best to keep this from being a wall of text.

I struggle to take my medications as prescribed, sometimes at all. I've had this fear of medication for over a decade now, and I'm finding it hard to overcome. I'm convinced my care providers are frustrated with my fluctuations in compliance, but at this point I feel it can't be helped. I've tried doing the whole "I'll make lifestyle changes and commit to them", but that resulted in me being hospitalized three times over the span of a year. I've only recently left another hospitalization that was meant to get me back regular on medication, but that hasn't panned out. I'm not denying that they could be helpful, it's just that my fear is telling me that they cause more harm than good and, according to my past experiences, I feel it to be true.

I've discussed this all with my providers, but I know they are tired of hearing it and I'm hesitant to repeat it. I have an appointment in a few days and I'm dreading it. I know that I'll look like a dunce trying to explain my lack of medication.

Anyway, my reason for posting this is to see if anyone else has experienced anything remotely similar to this. If so, have you gotten over it? how? Or maybe just share your struggles with staying on medication. Anything helps.

Thanks.
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Blue_Bird
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Default May 30, 2019 at 05:18 PM
  #2
What medications do you take? Some have long lasting injections available, like you just go in and get a shot once every three or 4 weeks, and there's one (invega trinza I think) you only need to get like every 3 months

I was on an injection for several years and it helped a lot with compliance because I used to stop my medications randomly too

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AgitatedMuffin
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Default May 31, 2019 at 08:29 AM
  #3
Hey, thanks for replying.

None of the medications I'm prescribed are available in injection. I've considered injections though, but can't commit to the idea. It takes away control, which is great for compliance but awful for my med anxiety.
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Default Jun 02, 2019 at 12:17 PM
  #4
Yeah, I can relate. If a medication causes any sort of hunger I’ll go off it immediately with or without permission. I’ve also frustrated many providers doing this. I see my doctor tomorrow and I’m kind of nervous because I went back to my normal dose of Geodon after he tried raising it. My hunger got out of control with the higher dose. I just hope he doesn’t get upset at me for dealing with this on my own instead of calling him.
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Default Jun 02, 2019 at 02:48 PM
  #5
Thanks for replying.

Good luck with your appointment tomorrow. I also have an appointment tomorrow and I haven't been taking my medication since being released from the hospital nearly a month ago, so I can understand how you feel. I wish you all the best.
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WastingAsparagus
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Default Jun 02, 2019 at 08:27 PM
  #6
Yeah, I've had similar struggles. The last time I went off of all of my meds for an extended period, I ended up in the hospital. From time to time, I'll miss a dose or two intentionally, and it's incredibly frustrating to me why I still do that. I try to be patient with myself.

It always comes down to this: do I want to go back to the hospital or not? Meds have helped to normalize my life, and I don't want to throw away what has helped me achieve that.

Also, I doubt that your doctors are judging you. You're doing the best that you can. I used to project that my doctors were judging me too, then I got over that. I think it's easy to believe that a psychiatrist or prescriber is judging us, but honestly, they're doing their best to help. Nowhere in the job description does it include judging patients.
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