Clinical drug trials

I am considering volunteering to future clinicical drug trials. I see there is a new drug called lumateperone that has recently been approved by the FDA. I endured eight months of Risperidone sleeping four hours a night. I know that quetiapine works so I have it to fall back on. Do they accept women for trials? I'd like to do my bit for medical science and progression.

I was in one of the trials for getting lamogitrine approved for bipolar disorder. I'm female and that mattered only that I had a pregnancy test at the beginning of the trial. It was an interesting experience. I very obviously did not get the real drug so that part was a failure but I felt good about doing the study, I got to see extremely good doctors at a time I really needed them and ultimately I was on the real stuff and it helped a bit. So I'm glad I did it, even thought it ultimatley wasn't the drug for me.

There is a study in France. It entails a cbt treatment to help a person with stigma/self stigma. I just wish I had the funds to go. I'm not sure I could afford to pay for accommodation for the whole stay. I'd be talking months not weeks. It's not a drug trial. It sounds ideal for my troubles.

I can't seem to move out of square one. I picked up a depression pamphlet and realised that my problems are still rooted in the past. You know when you are instinctively drawn to something and you have to pick it up?
I was referred to a psychologist years ago but they left. I was not given a new referral. Should I ask the psychiatrist to be referred? I feel like I have received enough help from them all ready.
I have written about my life but I haven't spoken about it aloud in entirety before. Maybe I need to bring things to the foreground now. What if the psychiatrist thinks I won't benefit from it? Or if the waiting list is too long?
I don't think I can afford a private psychologist. Not when I live alone.
I have some lovely friends and get along with my family. But I'd like more than casual flings that lead nowhere. It's hard to gauge how much to tell a person, how much to disclose without making them run to the hills.
Maybe I need some help to get my past sorted. My story is in the creative section if anyone wants some background info on my life. Look for posts by Lunatyc. I've had a rough time. Abusive relationships, authoritarian up bringing, attempted assaults, a breakdown, stigma, prejudice, alcohol misuse. Messed up.

If there were was a new drug, an AP, I would possibly volunteer. I see that there are studies for other therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy. I would have to talk about people from my past. It's not ideal but I must think of myself first for once.
I am OK with being on quetiapine but I just worry about the long term affects on organs like kidneys and heart. The possibility of TD or diabetes. I am not overweight, although the general practitioners guide would put me on the cusp of being overweight but I need to lose pounds in dangerous areas like the midriff. This indicates fat around organs? Quetiapine is bad/notorious for causing high tryglicerides.

Any hope of new generation neuroleptic medications in the same vein of quetiapine, without as many downsides, makes me hopeful. If I could tolerate clozopine I would perhaps be on it but I cannot. I had a near brush with death on clozopine. Not leukopenia. It was my heart that the drug sped up.
Clozopine has some possible brutal and life threatening side effects and I think it is only used because there is still a view and misconception that people who have experienced mental ill health are more often than not "hopeless" cases. Where its not true at all. A last resort with a risk of dying? I can see why some people take the risk having been on a drug that didn't work - Risperidone
We are still in the dark ages with mental health treatments I feel at times.

I am up for seeing the psychologist from the health service, for the main reason of not falling out with my family, now that we are running smoothly. Whenever something crops up, I can bring it to them. The Therapist will want me to start at the beginning and I will need to speak about others aside from family. It is not being a clipe. It is for my own good. I need to. I feel good. I feel as if I have broken down a wall and I am ready.

When I have my appointment
In B of D in 7 weeks
I am going to bring up
The trial in France.
There could be
A way for me
To obtain funding.
I could volunteer my story
To a mental health charity website.
I could make a video,
A short documentary as such.
I can forfeit
My sense of humour
To make a realistic perspective.
I could be seeing
Therapist at hospital
In my town sooner or later,
Than the predicted time.
But I definitely want
To see it through this time.
Where there is
A will, there is a way.