Playing Games

Have you ever played a game (eg. Cards) during a session? If yes, what did you play and how did it come about?

Does T let you win?

No. I would think the therapist was being wily.

Haven't play a game per se but have sat and done drawings and colored pictures together.

Yup. Multiple times. We usually play a card game or mancala or a game on his iPad. It's usually when I have anxiety and it helps.

I haven't done it

T sees kids though and I know he said that his head isn't in the game when he does play as he's more concerned with the discussion.

My wife works with children and playing-to-lose is one of her best tricks.

yes my T played a lot of games with me. this seems like life times ago but when I first started T I couldn't say a word at all .part of the reason I am in t. I would freeze and not be able to move .it was horrible. my head was filled with so much crap and screaming . so we would play games .one was named a snails pace .it was just a game but with T's spin on it talking about emotions .she really is amazing with that kind of stuff. we also drew. we played with magnetic words ,cards , in the beginning we use to throw a ball to each other to help to even get me to move and relax my muscles. she also read to me. we don't do a lot of that now but I do have a blanket I keep there incase I am scared like that.

yes. uno, jenga, dollhouse, legos.. i bring play therapy stuff often

Yes. At T’s suggestion we played a card game called Golf. T wanted me to feel more relaxed with him. He didn’t understand that I was already more relaxed with him than most anyone. Anyway, we played, I saw T’s competitive side. T could have won with an earlier move but decided to go for a higher score instead but then the odds played to my favor and I won. Don’t know if he let me or just got greedy on points like he said.
Now we are doing some inner child/parts type work and he is learning just how terrified and defensive I was as a kid. He has invited me to bring a game in (which I have the last three weeks but chicken out of playing) that would have been safe to play at the age we are talking about.
Yesterday’s session we talked about how I use art to talk about harder stuff for me. T suggested a project on something we have not been able to talk about without me triggering. I said I could do a project on it but I would want to do it in his office with him, where I was safe. He is all excited now because he didn’t know we could work on my projects in the office (many involve sewing).
I have learned that when T asks to play a game or now to do crafts yes, he does have an agenda. He wants me to feel safe. He isn’t looking for hidden meanings in my moves or messages in my art that I don’t share. He just wants me to be a little more comfortable. He doesn’t even care if we talk about anything important or not, he just wants me feeling safe. The other thing I learned is that T feels very strongly that even adults need to play. It hurts him to hear how little I played as a child (I was treated as an adult very early). T wants me to learn to play. He likes to play and really enjoys playing games and things with his clients.
Past T’s had agendas to their games and ruined it. They wanted to find something out by how I played. They wanted me to show them what I refused to tell them because I, rightfully, didn’t trust them. Current T gets very angry about this “misuse of play”.

No. I pay too much money for therapy to want to play a game with my therapist, and I don't have trouble talking now, but when I first started therapy I think it would have been really helpful. I have played games with clients (kids and teenagers mostly) and I don't actually try to lose, but I don't try very hard to win either...not like when I play with my husband when it is definitely cut throat competition.