I still hate DBT - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-20-2014, 07:46 AM #1
growlithing's Avatar
growlithing growlithing is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,608
growlithing growlithing is offline
Magnate
growlithing's Avatar
growlithing has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,608

5 yr Member
54 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default I still hate DBT

Me again. I know you're all sick of hearing me whine about DBT and just think I'm being stubborn and wasting everyone's time. I want to mention that I am in absolutely no way trying to undermine anyone else's positive DBT experiences. I know that DBT has helped a lot of people and saved lives. I'm not trying to say that DBT sucks. I'm saying I don't get it but I want to/need to.

About two months ago, my group leader told me I was being too resistant and oppositional about the material. I would challenge basically everything I read. I then felt like he doesn't like me and I'm dragging down the whole group so I stopped challenging anything. I just read what he asks me to read and don't verbalize what I feel or think at all. I guess I've been finding it slightly less lame but not any less unhelpful (for me because I don't do well with putting anything into practice). I'm wondering if part of the problem is that he never assigns us homework? We just read the skills and then never relate it to our own lives.

I just hate it. I find it boring and a waste of time because the skills are easy to understand but impossible to apply because I can never remember what they are when I'm having a hard time. I don't want to go. I don't want to go all the way out there just to sit on my thoughts and watch the clock. I can read pieces of paper just fine on my own.
growlithing is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:

advertisement
Old 03-20-2014, 08:05 AM #2
feralkittymom's Avatar
feralkittymom feralkittymom is offline
Moderator
Community Support Team
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: yada
Posts: 3,479
feralkittymom feralkittymom is offline
Moderator
Community Support Team
feralkittymom's Avatar
feralkittymom has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: yada
Posts: 3,479

5 yr Member
1,700 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I still hate DBT

While it's definitely true that the less you engage with the material, the less you'll get out of it, it also sounds like the group leader doesn't want to engage dissent. So where does that leave you? Quiet and resentful.

I'm surprised there isn't homework--like a workbook; I thought that was pretty standard with DBT.

The only thing I can think of would be to speak to him outside of the group meeting and tell him your perceptions. What suggestions would he have for overcoming your resistance? Ask him for specifics of how to apply these skills in your daily life. Give him examples of situations that are difficult for you and ask which skills you should use and how to do it. If he says something like, "well, you just have to decide to accept it" then you know he's not going to be very helpful to you.
feralkittymom is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-20-2014, 08:16 AM #3
growlithing's Avatar
growlithing growlithing is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,608
growlithing growlithing is offline
Magnate
growlithing's Avatar
growlithing has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,608

5 yr Member
54 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I still hate DBT

Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom View Post
While it's definitely true that the less you engage with the material, the less you'll get out of it, it also sounds like the group leader doesn't want to engage dissent. So where does that leave you? Quiet and resentful.

I'm surprised there isn't homework--like a workbook; I thought that was pretty standard with DBT.

The only thing I can think of would be to speak to him outside of the group meeting and tell him your perceptions. What suggestions would he have for overcoming your resistance? Ask him for specifics of how to apply these skills in your daily life. Give him examples of situations that are difficult for you and ask which skills you should use and how to do it. If he says something like, "well, you just have to decide to accept it" then you know he's not going to be very helpful to you.

He copied pages out of the workbook but none of the worksheets. We just read the sheets down. Our homework last week was to "try using the half smile". Wtf does that even mean? How am I supposed to remember to do that in the moment? When is a moment to use it? He just said "when you're feeling anxious or upset". Well I range from feeling jittery to being so anxious I have sui thoughts and I range from my default melancholy mood to not wanting to exist. Where within that range do I use any of the skills?

I also have a hard time coming up with examples. I have flashbacks so I once asked what skill to use during a flashback. His response was "one of the distress tolerance ones". Okay. The half smile then? Can I just half smile myself through a flashback? No I can't. I don't remember the other skills because we just read them aloud and didn't do anything beyond that.
growlithing is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-20-2014, 08:28 AM #4
stopdog stopdog is offline
underdog is here
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 30,915
stopdog stopdog is offline
underdog is here
stopdog has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 30,915 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
1 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I still hate DBT

Is the dbt required for you to stay in school?
__________________
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde

Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
"And psychology has once again proved itself the doofus of the sciences" Sheldon Cooper
stopdog is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-20-2014, 08:37 AM #5
growlithing's Avatar
growlithing growlithing is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,608
growlithing growlithing is offline
Magnate
growlithing's Avatar
growlithing has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,608

5 yr Member
54 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I still hate DBT

Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
Is the dbt required for you to stay in school?

Yes. I wouldn't do it if it wasn't because this is a waste of my time and money. We just read off a sheet of paper. Well, we do check ins where we go around the room and have 4 mins each to talk about stuff that is currently going on in our lives. I am unable to disclose anything beyond "I woke up, practiced, and took a dump" within a 4 min timeframe. Especially since it is timed and he holds up a timer while you talk. I'm very anxious about time and very anxious about the buzzer noise. But other people have no problem crying over their therapist within 4 minutes so he always runs over plus people don't come on time so he just waits for people to get started or he waits to move forward in the topics. So we only do skills for a maximum of 30 mins and we just go around the room reading off of a print out. Then it's done.
growlithing is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-20-2014, 08:49 AM #6
HazelGirl's Avatar
HazelGirl HazelGirl is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 5,248
HazelGirl HazelGirl is offline
Elder
HazelGirl's Avatar
HazelGirl has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 5,248 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
92 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I still hate DBT

He doesn't sound like a very good leader. I would say that part of this is your unwillingness to put in extra effort to figure it out (you sound like you're very resistant and defensive to the material), but part of it is also his leadership kind of sucks.
__________________
HazelGirl
PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety
Propranolol 10mg as needed for anxiety, Wellbutrin XL 150mg
HazelGirl is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-20-2014, 09:00 AM #7
Anonymous100110
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Anonymous100110
Guest
Anonymous100110 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a

Default Re: I still hate DBT

I'm guessing there are many good resources available about DBT and the actual application of DBT skills that you could find for yourself to supplement what is happening in the group. No, he doesn't sound like a good facilitator, but you can still make it useful with a bit of research and practice on your own. Sometimes we get a bad "teacher", but if we are motivated enough to learn the material, we find ways to teach ourselves or at least supplement what is going on in the classroom.

Would anyone here be able to share some good hands-on materials that Growly might be able to use to improve her experience with DBT?
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-20-2014, 09:52 AM #8
Leah123's Avatar
Leah123 Leah123 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,593
Leah123 Leah123 is offline
Grand Magnate
Leah123's Avatar
Leah123 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,593

5 yr Member
1,767 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I still hate DBT

I still definitely have a ways to go, but my therapist recommended this book for me and I find it very practical and customizable, plus easy to read with lots of concrete examples (and cheap!):

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & ... Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook): Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, Jeffrey Brantley:

I have used it some on my own between sessions and we've spent some time reviewing a couple chapters as well. I find it very helpful to calm down after painful sessions, and during times when I start to feel very upset and reactive about family situations or other really unpleasant or stressful events.

It is a true workbook, so... about half reading and half filling out worksheets, choosing activities to try, but of course the most important part is using the activities once you select/customize them. Hope it helps. DBT is definitely one of those things where you get out what you put in, and this way, you don't need to focus on the leader or the group structure, etc., you can take what you need here and employ it.

As for flashbacks, there are lots of excellent DBT related comments/threads on myptsd.org, but the recurring theme, which I also find very useful when I have flashbacks, is to engage my five senses and do a reality check. For me, that might be something like:

1. Smelling something strong and woodsy. I keep a bundle of sage at my desk and a bath product that is made from tree resin. Both very grounding.
2. Play songs from my playlist- recent songs that I love, that don't remind me of anything unpleasant.
3. I wrap up in a soft quilt.
4. I remember all the women in my life I've appreciated- my favorite teachers, my counselor, etc.
5. I make myself some hot chocolate.
6. I may try to read a book for a bit or turn on a comedy sometimes.
7. I remind myself the feeling will pass, and don't try to talk myself out of it, but to remember I am safe now, alright now, and do a little fact-checking- it's 2014, I'm safe at home (or whereever) in control, etc.
Leah123 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-20-2014, 09:56 AM #9
growlithing's Avatar
growlithing growlithing is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,608
growlithing growlithing is offline
Magnate
growlithing's Avatar
growlithing has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,608

5 yr Member
54 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I still hate DBT

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah123 View Post
I still definitely have a ways to go, but my therapist recommended this book for me and I find it very practical and customizable, plus easy to read with lots of concrete examples (and cheap!):

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & ... Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook): Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, Jeffrey Brantley:

I have used it some on my own between sessions and we've spent some time reviewing a couple chapters as well. I find it very helpful to calm down after painful sessions, and during times when I start to feel very upset and reactive about family situations or other really unpleasant or stressful events.

It is a true workbook, so... about half reading and half filling out worksheets, choosing activities to try, but of course the most important part is using the activities once you select/customize them. Hope it helps. DBT is definitely one of those things where you get out what you put in, and this way, you don't need to ruminate on the leader or your feelings about group, you can take what you need here and employ it.

I know about this book but I can't order it. I barely have enough money to eat two meals a day. My parents won't give me more money and I can't seem to find steady work.
growlithing is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-20-2014, 10:03 AM #10
Leah123's Avatar
Leah123 Leah123 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,593
Leah123 Leah123 is offline
Grand Magnate
Leah123's Avatar
Leah123 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,593

5 yr Member
1,767 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I still hate DBT

Here is an Amazon giftcard for $20: I sent the code to you in a private message. You can use it to order the book and have it shipped to you. I added some grounding techniques for flashbacks to the post above, hope it helps.
Leah123 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:39 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.