Dear T: A Song for You

One of my favs lately...great song.

Bleed- Hot Chelle Rae

I feel like I'm drowning in ice water
My lips have turned a shade of blue
I'm frozen with this fear
That you may disappear
Before I've given you the truth

I bleed my heart out on this paper for you
So you can see what I can't say
I'm dying here
'Cause I can't say what I want to
I bleed my heart out just for you

I've always dreamed about this moment
And now it's here and I've turned to stone
I stand here petrified
As I look you in your eyes
My head is ready to explode

I bleed my heart out on this paper for you
So you can see what I can't say
I'm dying here
'Cause I can't say what I want to
I bleed my heart out just for you
And it's all here in
Black and white and red
For all the times
Those words were never said
I bleed my heart out on this paper for you
So you can see what I can't say
I'm dying here
'Cause I can't say what I want to
I bleed my heart out just for you

Great song--especially love those last two lines.

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Closed your eyes and trusted, just trusted
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don't care?

And it's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg
The sun before the burn
The thunder before the lightning
And the breath before the phrase

Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table
The walk before the run
The breath before the kiss
And the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?

La la la la la la la la

There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee,
Calling me sugar
You called me sugar

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight?

Tonight

thanks for sharing

"Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?"

made me cry... but in a good way

Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air..
Where are the clowns?

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move...
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours.
Making my entrance again with my usual flair
Sure of my lines...
No one is there.

Don't you love farce?
My fault, I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want...
Sorry, my dear!
And where are the clowns
Send in the clowns
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer?
Losing my timing this late in my career.
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns...
Well, maybe next year.

about therapists in general

Reach out and touch faith
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who's there
Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer
Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess

I will deliver
You know I'm a forgiver
Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who's there

Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer

I will deliver
You know I'm a forgiver
Reach out and touch faith
Your own personal Jesus
Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith
Reach out reach out
Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith

Not a therapy related song and definitely not relevant to current T but for some odd reason, my post therapy rage always kinda lessens if I blast some Alabama Shakes on my (hour long) drive back home.

(It's rather unfortunate that the song was part of the movie.)

*People have names* Juliet Turner

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfJh_Imhgrg

People Have Names
The grind of the system, the stain and the squeal,
dust in the air from those wheels within wheels.
we need a sign on the door to say welcome,
whoever you are, wherever you’ve been.
People have names, people have voices,
people have stories that never get told.
They stand up in anger, lie down in protest,
people have souls that are turning to gold.
A meal at the table, a slow burning candle,
circles that move from the source to the edge.
It’s the work of a lifetime to love and be loved in return,
to love to the end.
People have names, people have voices,
people have stories that never get told.
They stand up in anger, lie down in protest,
people have souls that are turning to gold.

Another one by her sister Kathlyn Turner

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JhUNhIEXeI

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end

@QuietMind's post in Dear t reminded me of this

Love me love me
Say that you love me
Fool me fool me
Go on and fool me
Love me love me
Pretend that you love me

Leave me leave me

No more gas in the red
Can't even get it started
Nothing heard, nothing said
Can't even speak about it
All my life on my head
Don't want to think about it
Feels like I'm going insane
Yeah

It's a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
It's too close for comfort

Throw on your break lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
Your mind is in Disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight
Your mind is in Disturbia
Ain't used to what you like

Disturbia

Faded pictures on the wall
It's like they talkin' to me
Disconnectin' your call
Your phone don't even ring
I gotta get out
Or figure this **** out
It's too close for comfort

It's a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
I feel like a monster

Throw on your break lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
Your mind is in Disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight
Your mind is in Disturbia
Ain't used to what you like

Disturbia

Release me from this curse I'm in
I've been trying to maintain
But I'm struggling
You can't go, go, go
I think I'm going to oh, oh, oh

Throw on your break lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
Your mind is in Disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight
Your mind is in Disturbia
Ain't used to what you like

Disturbia

Dream Theater - These Walls

This is so hard for me
To find the words to say
My thoughts are standing still

Captive inside of me
All emotions start to hide
And nothing's getting through

Watch me
Fading
I'm losing
All my instincts
Falling into darkness

Tear down these walls for me
Stop me from going under
You are the only one who knows
I'm holding back

It's not too late for me
To keep from sinking further
I'm trying to find my way out
Tear down these walls for me now

So much uncertainty
I don't like this feeling
I'm sinking like a stone

Each time I try to speak
There's a voice I'm hearing
And it changes everything

Watch me
Crawl from
The wreckage
Of my silence
Conversation
Failing

Tear down these walls for me
Stop me from going under
You are the only one who knows
I'm holding back

It's not too late for me
To keep from sinking further
I'm trying to find my way out
Tear down these walls

Every time you choose to turn away
Is it worth the price you pay
Is there someone who will wait for you
One more time
One more time

Watch me
Fading
I'm losing
All my instincts
Falling into darkness

Tear down these walls for me
Stop me from going under
You are the only one who knows
I'm holding back

It's not too late for me
To keep from sinking further
I'm trying to find my way out
Tear down these walls for me now

Tear down these walls for me
It's not too late for me
Tear down these walls for me

Through the warmest cord of care
Your love was sent to me
I'm not sure what to do with it
Or where to put it

I'm so close to tears
And so close to
Simply calling you up
I'm simply suggesting

We go to the hidden place
That we go to the hidden place
We go to the hidden place
We go to a hidden place

Every day I write the list
Of reasons why I still believe they do exist
(a thousand beautiful things)

And even though it's hard to see
The glass is full and not half empty
(a thousand beautiful things)

So, light me up like the sun
To cool down with your rain
I never want to close my eyes again
Never close my eyes
Never close my eyes

I thank you for the air to breathe
The heart to beat
The eyes to see again
(a thousand beautiful things)

And all the things that's been and done
The battle's won
The good and bad in everyone
(this is mine to remember)

So,
Here I go again
Singin' by your window
Pickin' up the pieces of what's left to find

The world was meant for you and me
To figure out our destiny
(a thousand beautiful things)

To live
To die
To breathe
To sleep
To try to make your life complete
(yes yes)

So
Light me up like the sun
To cool down with your rain
I never want to close my eyes again
Never close my eyes
Never close my eyes

That is everything I have to say
(that's all I have to say)

I wish I could sing in my tongue language

The truth is that I never shook my shadow
Every day it's trying to trick me into doing battle
Calling out "faker" only get me rattled
Want to pull me back behind the fence with the cattle
Building your lenses
Digging your trenches
Put me on the front line
Leave me with a dumb mind
With no defences
But your defence is
If you can't stand to feel the pain then you are senseless

Since this
I've grown up some
Different kind of fighter
And when the darkness comes, let it inside you
Your darkness is shining
My darkness is shining
Have faith in myself
Truth

I've seen a million numbered doors on the horizon
Now which is the future you're choosing before you gone dying?
I'll tell you about a secret I've been undermining
Every little lie in this world comes from dividing
Say you're my lover, say you're my own homie
Tilt my chin back, slit my throat, take a bath in my blood, get to know me
All out of my secrets
All my enemies are turning into my teachers
Because, lights blinding, no way dividing what's yours or mine
When everything's shining
Your darkness is shining
My darkness is shining
Have faith in ourselves
Truth

Yes I'm only loving only trying to only love
Yes and all I'm trying to do is only loving
Yes I'm only loving trying to only love I swear to God I'm only trying to do the loving
Yes I'm only lonely loving yes I'm only feeling only loving
You say it ain't loving ain't loving ain't loving, my loving

Baby, you're where dreams go to die
I regret the day your lovely carcass caught my eye
Baby, you're where dreams go to die
I've got to get away, I don't want to but I have to try

To S (exT)

https://youtu.be/MZ552T1vzn8

Feeling used, but I'm
Still missing you and I can't
See the end of this
Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips
And now all this time is passing by
But I still can't seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to, but I can't put
Nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

I miss you when I can't sleep
Or right after coffee or right when I can't eat
I miss you in my front seat
Still got sand in my sweaters
From nights we don't remember
Do you miss me like I miss you?
****ed around and got attached to you
Friends can break your heart too
And I'm always tired but never of you
If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that ****
I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that ****
I type a text, but then I never mind that ****
I got these feelings, but you never mind that ****
Oh oh, keep it on the low
You're still in love with me, but your friends don't know
If you wanted me, you would just say so
And if I were you, I would never let me go
I don't mean no harm, I just miss you on my arm
Wedding bells were just alarms
Caution tape around my heart
You ever wonder what we could have been?
You said you wouldn't and you ****ing did
Lie to me, lie with me, get your ****ing fix
Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all ****ing mixed
Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing
Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance
I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing
But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings
When love and trust are gone
I guess this is moving on
Everyone I do right does me wrong
So every lonely night, I sing this song

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to, but I can't put
Nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

All alone, I watch you watch her
Like she's the only girl you've ever seen
You don't care, you never did
You don't give a damn about me
Yeah, all alone, I watch you watch her
She is the only thing you've ever seen
How is it you never notice
That you are slowly killing me

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to, but I can't put
Nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

How can it be?
I can taste you now
How can I see?
When you're everything

All my world in one grain of sand
And I've blown it
All my world in one grain of sand
And you own it

Black cherry
Black cherry
Stone

Black cherry
Black cherry
Stone

Hearing you say it
I could die
Trembling star
Just reminds me

All my world in one grain of sand
And I've blown it
All my world in one grain of sand
And you own it

Black cherry
Black cherry
Stone

Black cherry
Black cherry
Stone