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View Poll Results: If my T smoked, I...
Would not give a rat's arse, it's not my business 29 44.62%
Would not give a rat's arse, it's not my business
29 44.62%
Would like them better for being gritty and imperfect 7 10.77%
Would like them better for being gritty and imperfect
7 10.77%
Wouldn't respect them enough to keep seeing them 5 7.69%
Wouldn't respect them enough to keep seeing them
5 7.69%
Would think less of them but it wouldn't affect my therapy 21 32.31%
Would think less of them but it wouldn't affect my therapy
21 32.31%
Would see if I could bum a cigarette off them 3 4.62%
Would see if I could bum a cigarette off them
3 4.62%
Voters: 65. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-26-2018, 09:48 PM   #41
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Default Re: Would it bother you if your therapist smoked?

Yes but o my because he preaches on being healthy.
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Old 01-27-2018, 02:59 AM   #42
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Default Re: Would it bother you if your therapist smoked?

Also, right now I accept that she's always late because I know she runs over with just about all clients. If she were a smoker, I'd probably feel resentful and think she's late because she was having a cigarette.
I might also be afraid of them resenting me for getting between them and their cigarette if I run over, ask them to call me etc.

And would they be paying their full attention to me, or thinking about their next cigarette? Maybe even trying to finish the session two minutes early?

I mean, my pdoc and I have appointments of an hour. We often speak for about 45 minutes (and sometimes for up to 75, if there's a lot to talk about and he has time). If there's nothing left to talk about, we finish up. I leave as satisfied then as when we take the full 60 minutes, or when we go over time. If we finish early and he went for a smoke or I considered he might, I might wonder if finishing up early was on purpose. Did he rush the session in the hopes that ..? Did he maybe not pay attention to something I said-did-showed because ..?

I'm not sure if I would actually think that, but I might. If I feel someone considers me a bother, I'll try not to be bothersome - often at my own expense.
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Old 01-27-2018, 03:11 AM   #43
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Default Re: Would it bother you if your therapist smoked?

I have never smoked but I donít mind the smell, unless itís super-stale. I actually find the smell of a lit cigarette kind of pleasant- it reminds me a beloved relative who died when I was a small child, as well as nights out in another country I used to live in, where people smoked a lot. I donít think Iíd care if my therapist smoked- I kind of suspect he smokes pot occasionally, and this doesnít trouble me either.
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Old 01-27-2018, 03:45 AM   #44
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Default Re: Would it bother you if your therapist smoked?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Breadfish View Post
Also, right now I accept that she's always late because I know she runs over with just about all clients. If she were a smoker, I'd probably feel resentful and think she's late because she was having a cigarette.
I might also be afraid of them resenting me for getting between them and their cigarette if I run over, ask them to call me etc.

And would they be paying their full attention to me, or thinking about their next cigarette? Maybe even trying to finish the session two minutes early?

I mean, my pdoc and I have appointments of an hour. We often speak for about 45 minutes (and sometimes for up to 75, if there's a lot to talk about and he has time). If there's nothing left to talk about, we finish up. I leave as satisfied then as when we take the full 60 minutes, or when we go over time. If we finish early and he went for a smoke or I considered he might, I might wonder if finishing up early was on purpose. Did he rush the session in the hopes that ..? Did he maybe not pay attention to something I said-did-showed because ..?

I'm not sure if I would actually think that, but I might. If I feel someone considers me a bother, I'll try not to be bothersome - often at my own expense.


I smoke, and I have never rushed a meeting or phone call or paid half attention because I had cigarettes on the brain.

I canít imagine that people actually think and behave that way. I certainly donít, and donít know anyone who does...

Seems a bit extreme to me TBH

Like I can imagine a heroin addict fixated on their next hit (I work at a rehab) but somehow I find it hard to believe cigarette smokers in that same boat...

Just my two cents...
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Old 01-27-2018, 06:44 AM   #45
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Default Re: Would it bother you if your therapist smoked?

I've read some stuff on heroin versus nicotine and nicotine wasn't very friendly. (Compare illegal drugs to alcohol and you're REALLY shocked) So I guess I just am afraid that addiction is addiction.

On the other had, I imagine there's quite a difference between looking forward to your next cigarette and looking forward to your next 'hit. I mean, a cig is legal and generally accepted, and you can but them everywhere. So you don't really have to worry about getting it, which would mean you can just think 'I'd like a cigarette' and not 'I want heroin, how do I get heroin?/Where and when can I take my next hit?/What if someone finds the powder in my pocket?'
And I also think people addicted to 'extreme drugs' generally have more issues and therefore need the drugs more, than people addicted to nicotine. (I don't mind people, including T's, having issues. As long as they don't negatively impact the therapy of course.) Like, people seem to often get addicted to nicotine through peer pressure, and to heroin and alcohol and stuff because they want to forget. I think: I'm no expert.
I mean with my first example, that most self-harmers I know say they think a lot less about it when they have an object in their pocket. If they don't, they'll think about getting an object.
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Old 01-27-2018, 07:29 AM   #46
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Default Re: Would it bother you if your therapist smoked?

I have to say Iím completely baffled by some of the responses here. It almost seems like smoking is being equated with child pornography the way people react to the idea of their therapist smoking. This is not a judgment, simply an observation. This is truly fascinating.

I think this is a cultural thing because in Europe smoking is not seen that way at all. Lots of people smoke. Half of my colleagues smoke for instance: they regularly take a ę cigarette break Ľ that is they go outside to smoke.
It was the same when I was in university: the majority of students smoked.
Same when I was in high school where half of my class would smoke (which is concerning obviously).

Yes itís bad for your health but tons of things are bad for your health (drinking heavily, eating junk food, etc.) and who knows how many therapists engage in those behaviours?

I personally hate cigarettes. I smoked twice (just to know what it was all about) and I had to lie down because my head was spinning and I was close to fainting. I find the taste absolutely disgusting. Before the smoking ban in Western European countries (around 2008-2010) it was a nightmare for me to get into a club/bar or even a restaurant because of all the smoking. I would come out reeking of cigarette smell and I would have to put my clothes in the washing machine to get rid of it.

Anyway all this to say that while I understand hating the smell, I personally donít care what therapists do outside of my session. If they want to smoke ten packs of cigarettes every day this is their life and I simply donít care.
I donít consider them role models for me to emulate.
Anyway interesting debate!

Last edited by Myrto; 01-27-2018 at 08:30 AM..
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Old 01-27-2018, 07:37 PM   #47
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Default Re: Would it bother you if your therapist smoked?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Myrto View Post
I have to say Iím completely baffled by some of the responses here. It almost seems like smoking is being equated with child pornography the way people react to the idea of their therapist smoking. This is not a judgment, simply an observation. This is truly fascinating.

I think this is a cultural thing because in Europe smoking is not seen that way at all. Lots of people smoke. Half of my colleagues smoke for instance: they regularly take a ę cigarette break Ľ that is they go outside to smoke.
It was the same when I was in university: the majority of students smoked.
Same when I was in high school where half of my class would smoke (which is concerning obviously).

Yes itís bad for your health but tons of things are bad for your health (drinking heavily, eating junk food, etc.) and who knows how many therapists engage in those behaviours?

I personally hate cigarettes. I smoked twice (just to know what it was all about) and I had to lie down because my head was spinning and I was close to fainting. I find the taste absolutely disgusting. Before the smoking ban in Western European countries (around 2008-2010) it was a nightmare for me to get into a club/bar or even a restaurant because of all the smoking. I would come out reeking of cigarette smell and I would have to put my clothes in the washing machine to get rid of it.

Anyway all this to say that while I understand hating the smell, I personally donít care what therapists do outside of my session. If they want to smoke ten packs of cigarettes every day this is their life and I simply donít care.
I donít consider them role models for me to emulate.
Anyway interesting debate!
Hahaha! It's totally a cultural thing. Smoking in Canada has become quite stigmatized in certain socio-economic groups. Especially past age 30 or so. Not quite akin to kiddie porn but not all that far off either. I think it's because most other vices just affect the person engaging in them, but subjecting others to second-hand smoke is considered the height of rudeness, to the point of being considered anti-social behaviour. It's also illegal in most public settings.

So a therapist smoking (where I live) is engaging in behaviour that's pretty atypical for their social class. It's also (almost) like not having worked through any other addiction: worrying in what it says about their own mental health and fitness to practice on others.

I realize this is extreme and culturally loaded! That's why I was curious enough to ask the question...
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Old 01-27-2018, 08:56 PM   #48
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Default Re: Would it bother you if your therapist smoked?

I have had therapists who smoked. I have family members who smoke. My mom died from smoking. I am not sure what to think.
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Old 01-27-2018, 08:58 PM   #49
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Default Re: Would it bother you if your therapist smoked?

I smoked for 35 years and then quit cold turkey in the summer of 2015. Even though I had no symptoms I asked for a bunch of tests including eventually a chest xray and was diagnosed after quitting smoking with lung cancer in my early 50s.

If I had a long standing therapist who smoked I would have made my peace with it but dont' think I could take a new therapist who smoked. I never liked the smell of stale cigarettes and their addiction would be something that weighed on my mind. I also don't think I could go to a morbidly obese therapist or someone who I thought had another drug or alcohol addiction.
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Old 01-27-2018, 09:06 PM   #50
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Default Re: Would it bother you if your therapist smoked?

I had a smoker T who had a sexy raspy voice but I left with my clothes smelling awful, even though she didn't actively smoke during session. She was so good that I put up with it!
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