How much do your chat with your T?

We chat a lot. It helps to break up the heavy stuff. I feel like it does add to the therapeutic process for me. It helps me feel connected and builds trust.

We chat in exactly two situations:
1) before a longer break, either when he takes some time off, or once when I had to take a 3 months break due to work. In these cases, we usually chat most of the last session. About things such as what I'm going to be doing during the break, or when it was due to work, on what I'll be working, where and so on.

2) If we have discussed some difficult things during the session, sometimes we chat for a minute or two before ending the session.

I think in both of these cases it's to make me feel more comfortable, grounded, to regulate my feelings a bit. Especially in the second case I might otherwise leave with emotions all over the place, and I'm bad at dealing with that.

It is usually initiated by my T. I would not just start chatting myself, I'd just be quiet. I don't mind the bit of chatting that we do, but I would be bothered if we did it instead of talking about stuff I want to talk about. However, that has never happened so far.

We never chat and we never have!
I don’t really mind. I don’t know what we would talk about. She has always seemed far too strict to chat with. Like she would say there is no need for it. Which there kind of isn’t. Well, there is for building a relationship, but I don’t think it would help me because of my attachment issues. It would just be one more thing to worry about.

I suppose I could though, if I wanted to. The start of the session is always silence. Her waiting for me to speak, so... maybe I will try one day!

For me, it started out as just a little at first but over the past few years, it feels like we spend more than 85% of the session chatting and then all the stuff we should have spent the session talking about either gets crammed into the last 15 minutes or comes spewing out in a frantic text right after he leaves. I had thought about bringing it up with him several times but I was afraid it was going to make him mad, like I was accusing him of not doing his job or something.

I don't know if this would be considered chat but I almost always begin the session with "news". I want T to know about my life and what goes on in it. For me, it's very comforting to know that my T is up-to-date on events in my life. She's used to me talking about my own (non-emotional) current events at the beginning of the session.

I do the lighter stuff like "news" at the beginning so I can dive in afterward with what I need help with. "News' generally doesn't take more than 15 minutes.

If I have big struggles, I'll forego the "news report".

It's interesting that you talk about "news." That became kind of an issue with ex-T. Where I'd spend much of the session updating her, both with general stuff that happened in the past week and with my marriage counseling session, which generally happened a day or two before my session with her. So much time was often spent catching up that there wasn't as much time left for actual therapy. It often happened in marriage counseling, too (especially because H can be quite the storyteller...think 15 minutes describing a trip to Costco with our daughter).

I've tried to avoid getting into that same trap with my current T and have generally succeeded. Like I'll come in with stuff I plan to talk about. He has said he'll sometimes fall into the update thing with clients he's seen for a longer time, but even though we're at about the 6-month mark, I don't feel like we're doing that. It's amazing how much more we can fit into a session without all the updates. Sure, I'll talk about some relevant or important stuff that happened, but there's not the "Here's all the stuff I did in the past week" recap. Plus, lately, I've been seeing him twice a week, and that helps, too--less time to recap!

Thinking about how I am unable to see my T until August, and I haven't seen her since November... I will want to chat with her for hours and hours when I finally see her again, there's so much that will have happened! I'll have to try to control myself, lol. Can't waste time in session chatting when I have so much s--t to work through.

I counted the recap thing as therapy actually. Especially with pdoc; we talk about things that bother me now or that came up during the week. How to deal with the bothersome stuff. And he points out the good things.
T is more "working on stuff".
They complement each other like that. Pdoc is more "how can I help you now, what do you need to get to the next appointment?" The long-term plans are more med related, or "maybe work on x sometime" (with a T qualified in working-on-x).
T is "what can we start doing today that helps you in a year" with some 'what do you need help with right now' thrown in.

It's like, say I'm getting hit at home every day (I'm not). Pdoc will help me figure out how to buy and install a good lock on my bedroom door and the best time to do so; T will help me make plans to move out.
Seeing only T means a lot of broken noses before the moving-out moment is there. Seeing only pdoc would prevent the broken noses, although locks can break down and I've got to leave my room at some point for food. Which would require new strategies. Or maybe the person breaking my nose would move out or be kicked out.. or realize the futility of trying to break my nose and stop doing so. Or I'd fight back and that would help. It's not always a temporary stop-gap.

My first T I saw when I was really ill (prior to the leg amputation). I had a lot of things going on like doctor's/treatment appts (averaging 9 to 11 a week in the last months), fights at home, and sometimes things at school. Just listing them literally took all session, yet that venting was absolutely required to help me cope/get through. So she suggested I email.
I emailed every day, or maybe 5 times a week if I skipped a day somewhere (no need to email on 'session day'). Which would leave time in session to focus on the things I needed to discuss/find a solution for, and work on things that would help me longer-term. Although that was very limited and, as my problems increased in severity and my ability to deal with them declined in a huge way (pain got worse, doctor's appts increased, I barely slept because of the pain), I guess it was back to handling-acute-things for just about all of the session.

So if that's chatting, I believe in chatting.
Sometimes T's are so focused on the long-term - like renovating your house - that they ignore you need to make enough money this month to avoid foreclosure, at which point you wouldn't have a house. Or that you need to deal with your pyromanic neighbour today, 'cause else you'll have to start rebuilding the house before you can ever renovate. Or that yes, saving money for that comfortable, Emperor-size, ten million thread count bed is a good goal - but it'll take me a year to have enough money, and I'd like to not sleep on the floor before that..