Survivors of Unethical Therapy

[Shortly after you wrote your reply to Ididit above, another poster started a thread and I jumped to the conclusion that it was you -- your names are somewhat similar and I didn't bother to check. And the topic seemed like it could have been related to your post here. Here is a link]

Perfectly OK Here Today -- not the first time posters have gotten confused between Merope and me. As a matter of fact I keep wishing I hadn't picked the name I did. It was actually a mistake because I wanted the name of one of the seven dwarves and I thought there was one named Mopey. (There wasn't). Not to speak of it describes the glum attitude I go around with most of the time. Should'a picked Grumpy or Dopey, but it's too late now (sigh). Sorry - slight digression.

Be well....

I should also add that, having read through your complete post (above) you have my deepest sympathy and compassion in regards to your family background. I share some of those circumstances with you, and can absolutely attest to the horror and fright that accompanies a realization that someone you loved and depended upon, did not love you back; in fact, though they may have supported you physically, they did not really know you at all. 😢

I have gotten past all but the parts I literally did not remember until recently .. and 2 things I believe will always affect me in a profound way (which counselors don't understand either) - my mom's death (when I was 12) and adopting out my son (something I sincerely did not want to do but was left with no other "good" choice when I was 7mo along - since I was 17 .. 18 at birth .. n living at home but was told I could not live with a child in my home n my other plans fell thru when I got 7mo. along) .. so those are things that still haunt me. But counselors think thats unthinkable. They also thought it was unthinkable that I would be terrorized by the emotional trauma I endured at home during my teen years - even in my 30s or that differing sexual offenses would affect me for years..

So yea - I just really have no trust in them.

I got through those things much in the same way as you - by myself or with other non-professional people who were compassionate n understsnding n even sometimes had advice.

I did pick up bits n pieces of things I was able to use from counselors though. And now it seems the non-professional peoples advice is the same as what I give others.. so I was hoping to.go to a counselor to see if new info could be had. Its a moot point though. Because it will never happen. I am realizing now my money is always going to be spent. I am never going to have any money for anythinv .. including my health. So.. frig it.

That sounds sad, Crypts. What does it get spent for, if not your health? Is that a pattern that you would like to change, but don't have a clue about how to? One of those things you might check with a counselor to see about, if you had the money?

Maybe some of us could have some useful suggestions, if you would like to start a thread on that? Maybe not, either. But the nice thing about PC is that it is free! and even if often in life you get what you pay for, I do feel that I have gotten way more than I paid for here.

Here Today is right, Crypts - there might be a way , if you wanted it enough. Do you have an idea of what counselor you might like to see?

Nah - I know what it is .. and honestly I have no way around it at this point other than to leave .. which I will not do (for reasons of my own that sound silly to others) .. and yes, I realize what I am saying - it just really pisses me off bc this is something that DID NOT have to happen .. yet it did .. and now its too late bc he does not care that it did, and would be happy to spend the rest of his life in his bedroom so long as he could be away from me in the moments he is not spending money.

Hi
I’m in uk and have experienced a terrible end to long term psychotherapy in the last few months-I don’t really know whether what was done was “unethical” because it was 1 to 1 human interactions but he will not budge in terms of discussing his role/perspective etc and it is way more devastating than I could have believed possible in relation to what took me to him in the first place

Unethical therapy is a redundant term. Therapy is fundamentally unethical.

I also had a bad ending and the therapist could not or would not take any responsibility... until i forced her to some degree.

I believe most of them are either narc types who thrive on the power and adulation, or fragile head cases who can't tolerate failure. In either case the client gets the blame.

I agree with this Budfox,

Therapy is inherently unethical. I agree.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

The forum seems like it has reconfigured on my phone - I’m not sure what I am replying to! I saw my ex therapist for 3 years before she terminated therapy because she wanted to “ explore a romantic relationship.” Unfortunately, during that time she learned so much that she later used to hurt me.

This is horrible. Are you safe and away from your ex therapist?

Oh my goodness. I thought I was the only person in the world. I have ptsd from it.

My heart goes out to you TrainGirl,

If you want, feel free to private message me for support. I am so sorry you have been through this! You didn't deserve it and you are not alone.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

The issue as I see it if its only you and your therapist who is believed. I went to a therapist who raped me but I never complained because I figured me being a mental patient my credibility was zero. It was his word vs mine. Maybe I was wrong with presuming my word against his. However there were no witnesses and therefore noone to confirm how he raped me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mugwort2 The issue as I see it if its only you and your therapist who is believed. I went to a therapist who raped me but I never complained because I figured me being a mental patient my credibility was zero. It was his word vs mine. Maybe I was wrong with presuming my word against his. However there were no witnesses and therefore noone to confirm how he raped me.

A therapist who RAPED you?????

It depends.

Witnesses would help but if you had any kind of proof- letters, texts, DNA, etc.

I could identify the Pdoc’s genitalia, for instance.

The Pdoc in my case made the medical licensing board case easier. He was arrested for doing something similar with another female patient. His arrest made the papers and seven women in all came forward with allegations of exploitation. Three of us cooperated with the medical licensing board and his medical license was revoked on several counts for each of us.

It happened to #metoo

I am so sorry to hear that but in most cases there wouldn’t be any witnesses of sexual assault. Rapists don’t do in front of others. But that’s what law enforcement is for. DNA? Other physical evidence? Finger prints? Etc etc Plus there might be other victims. Is he still practicing?

I need to share this, My T hurt me very much and afterward I have found out she was very unethical, she led me to believed she cared, evn on the day she terminated with out any process put in place, she said she cared and wish the best for me, she has lied and will continue to lie.

Termination Day
As a child we long for love and affection and to be hugged and be held, but not every child can be so lucky. As a child they have no choice, voice or mobility, they learn to trust in what they know or are taught, they take the hand that is given to us, Then as adults go and seek the help, only to find out have attachment and abandonment issues that stem from our childhood leaving them with the effects of attachment to their therapist that can developed a strong yearning for some type of closeness that became heartbreaking when therapy comes to an end
by termination. Anytime that therapy is abruptly terminated with one’s therapy it has a devastating impact.
First let’s talk about a little history about attachments in order to understand the impact that one might encounter, theory was originally developed to explain the nature of a child’s bond to his or her caretaker. I must acknowledge John Bowlby development of the attachment theory (McLeod) his study shows that relations between client attachment to ones therapist and therapist perceptions of transference, as well as between client attachment and recollections of parental caregiving. 51 client-therapist pairs in ongoing therapy. After session, clients completed a measure of their attachment to their therapists and a measure of their perceptions of parental caregiving during childhood. Therapists rated levels of positive and negative, and amount of, client transference. Both secure and preoccupied-merger attachments were positively related to both negative transference and amount of transference. Level of avoidant-fearful attachment was not correlated with any type of transference. Insecure attachment to the therapist was associated with more negative recollections of parental caregiving (Bretherton).
Secondly when therapy is terminated abruptly, Clients often experience abandonment and even devastation, much like when a loved one has abandoning a child. It becomes a very negative consequence, feeling of discouraging, hopeless and loss, are just some of the feeling that a patient will encounter. Countertransference issues stages of grief, clearly delineates the five stages a person passes through when dying, the five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and then acceptance (Stage Of). “These stages are mirrored by the abrupt termination initiated by your therapist. Over time, loss can be accepted if one moves sufficiently through the stages of grief. Kübler-Ross clearly delineates the five stages a person passes through when dying, which are mirrored by those suffering the grief of loss. Kübler-Ross believed that a
Person typically goes through denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and finally,
Acceptance. Similarly, in the termination of therapy, the client and the therapist may pass
through each of these stages to differing degrees, whether affectively, cognitively or behaviorally (Cruz)”.
Lastly when terminated abruptly and suddenly that has been mishandled from a person that deeply share very intimate feeling with it turns into a crushing blow, clients will often feel abandonment and devastated and rejected, feeling much like the child who wanted to be loved, hugged and held. “Novick declared: Once we have acknowledged that termination was mishandled from the very start of analytic practice, we can gain some respect for the power of the forces that have had to be defended against. Many of our analytic forebears were superb clinicians, and their failure to recognize the possible pathological impact of the way they miss-handled termination should give us pause. Termination elicits the most powerful anxieties and conflicts we have come to know (McCown)”.
As a child we long for love and affection and to be hugged and be held, but not every child can be so lucky, children have no choice, voice or mobility, they learn to trust in what they know or are taught, they take the hand that is given to us, within each of us, we have that inner child, wanting, deserving, and craving to be loved, hugged and held, this all part of the process in therapy we work on called parts work, while in a place we call home, a place we can trust, a place that is safe, a place that we open up and disclose the hurt, the pain and the misery, a place where no harm will be done, until one single day, you are called to the therapist office, a day that one will never forget and their heart will be forever scared, as adults we didn’t ask for this type of hand to be given to us, but has, its Termination day!

And yet there is nothing in place to prevent it.

It's an exploitive paradigm.

Also, the flipside is the client who is stuck in therapy for years or decades, because cutting ties with the therapist is too destabilizing.