[Rive1976]

Does you T talk about themselves? I want to say I dont freaking care and you get paid to talk to me about me not you.

[DP_2017]

Yes but I like it... so I don't mind

[nottrustin]

Yes.... there is no way I could tell my most intimate and painful stood to them is they were essentially a stranger.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

Yes.... there is no way I could tell my most intimate and painful stood to them is they were essentially a stranger.

I can see that.

My T has a lot of opinions that she can't keep to herself. So at the beginning, even though she wasn't disclosing life details, I felt like I knew a lot about her by knowing her attitude toward things.

As time has gone on, she has said more. Like mentioning friends going to a concert I was think of going to. Or commenting about her vacation home, her dogs, her travel plans. She gave me a book of poetry her niece wrote.

I also generally prefer to know things about her so she doesn't feel like as much of a stranger. But sometimes it's hard.

There's a lot about her life that I am a little envious of either because I wish I had it or because I wish I had a maternal figure in my life who could share that with me.

[Jazz1971]

No, I've not had a T that talked about themselves. It's not my style to ask a provider personal questions, so I can't see how a T gets to a point of talking about themselves. For me, from both the client and T perspectives, the Ts "stuff" doesn't have a place in the therapy room.

Yes, she did pretty often, as it related to whatever we were discussing at the time.

[velcro003]

Yes my T does, but has lessened since the beginning. She told me right off in our first session together that sometimes she starts talking and can't stop, and that I need to interrupt her and tell her to shut up! lol.

I think she has figured out with me that too much self-disclosure is not helpful, so while she does relate things from her life that resonate with mine, it isn't that often, and I am okay with that. I like that she is human with her own foibles, but I don't want to know the intricacies of her life.

She is also very genuine-seeming in her interactions with me, so that is more important to me than any of her own history.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

Sometimes, and it's generally either warm-up chit chat, or helpful and appropriate to the topic.

Yup. I like it though. I need that give and take.

[captgut]

Yes. I like it. But sometimes he talks too long lol.

[Abe Froman]

Former male T was in practice with his wife. So he might very subtly discuss his family life. He'd bring up their kids when pertinent. Female T I'm about to start seeing again didn't really talk about herself at all. She referred to her partner never as he or she and that was about it.

[Amyjay]

My t doesn't talk about herself but answers questions if I ask her something. I don't want a t to talk about themselves. I am there to do my stuff. I once saw a t for only a few sessions who talked about herself a lot and I stopped seeing her for that reason. Her personal life was had no interest or relevance for me at all.

[feileacan]

No, my T never talks about himself and I would find it inappropriate (because I'm paying for his time he should be focused on me and thinking of me). He does sometimes answer my questions about himself if he thinks that I need that answer for some reason. He never answers just for the sake of mutual sharing. He shares his person and presence implicitly by being with me in sessions.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

Depends on what 'talking about himself' means. He doesn't share how he's currently doing, what his day's like, what's happening in his family, where he's going on vacation. What he does share is feeling stuff that is past. Such as 'sometimes I have those days too' or 'when I was younger I'd....'. Stuff he has processed and worked through kind of. And then feelings regarding my therapy. And occasionally little bits about himself like that he has a brother or that he used to walk a certain path in our city. But these things only come up in relevant situations, it's not just 'oh, hey, let me tell you about my life today'.

[Rive1976]

I mentioned something to a T about a kidney stone. She started talking about how she had one in college and her parents thought she was having sex but she hadnt yet. I was like tmi.

[88Butterfly88]

Very little, mostly only if it relates to my situation. It's okay if they mention themselves a little but it shouldn't be excessive as the sessions is supposed to be about you.

[maybeblue]

I try to avoid listening to them talk about themselves whenever possible. I think generally they have good intentions. They think that by sharing something about their own lives it makes me feel like they understand me better, but often it doesn't. I want them to be very honest about their feelings about me and what is happening in the session, but I don't want to hear stories about their kids. Stories about pets are more interesting, but still not worth $2 a minute.

Yes, she talks about herself some. I would not be able to open up to someone that didnt share herself with me. Many years ago I had a “blank slate” therapist..for a couple weeks. I couldnt/wouldnt talk to someone I didnt feel was a “real” person.