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Rive1976
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Member Since: Mar 2018
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Default Oct 15, 2020 at 09:24 PM
  #1
I write my therapist a email one to two days before my session. Just an outline of what I'd like to discuss. Im shy and I dont know how to just dive in so this helps with that and saves time. Anyway, I've been talking to her about this bad side of myself that wants to do things contradictory to what I want that she used to say was DID so an alter and now says she doesn't know but that it doesn't matter because I'm mostly good and that I'm focusing on the negative. If I am doing all of the grounding strategies that she taught me and still not feeling positive maybe we need to do something different and did I want things to get better. She was irritated and I could hear it in her voice. She said the reason I'm annoyed with people here at the group home is because I'm highest functioning and I've out grown the group home. She says I dont need it anymore. Im angry. I know she is coming from a good place. I know she wants me to be happy but I feel like now I can't bring anything negative to session. That defeats therapy. Therapy is for the negative stuff. If I can't tell her everything thats not going to help me. It also frustrates me because I have been trying to yell her this other side of me is really scary and she just says well for the most part you aren't this other side. Im thinking about in my email prepping for next session telling her that I font feel like I can bring anything negative for fear of getting shamed. I need to be able to tell her everything and she doesnt know how it is to have contradictory desires and who cares if its just sometimes I dont want it there at all. Its likely to make her mad and she's going to say I'm still focusing on the negative but I feel I need to be honest for myself. She also asked if I was mad at her and I said no but I am. Im mad at her about a lot of things. Some are rational, some aren't, Ugh, Halp!!
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Default Oct 16, 2020 at 05:00 AM
  #2
It might be an uncomfortable discussion but you are right in that it does need to be had.

I would be honest and tell her that you felt judged and/or pushed by her comments. Therapy is indeed the place to vent and bring in the negative. I mean, that's what the work is all about.
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