Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVI

DP_2017 · Dec 09, 2018 at 10:28 AM

I almost fell back into my old worst habit yesterday because nothing makes me feel worse about myself than that and I for sure need to punish myself like crazy. However, I realized, even if I did do it again, you no longer care. Your care for me, has ended. I am only "just a job" and I can't understand why anyone would want a job helping people only to pretend to care and like them and in the end, hurt them and leave them.

I'm glad you can walk away from this like it was nothing, because it was obviously nothing to you, but this will be hell for me... and my biggest support, will be gone. Sigh....

Trust no one. Ever.

lucozader · Dec 09, 2018 at 10:41 AM

You're the only person who could understand. This is so cruel and crazy.

RaineD · Dec 09, 2018 at 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nottrustin

6 months?? I remember when going a week without an appointment with you was to much. Little did I know how much it would change 6 months ago today.

Today is 6 months since my T told me he's dying. Two months since he died.

I miss him so much.

junkDNA · Dec 09, 2018 at 11:27 AM

miss u.....

Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVI

junkDNA · Dec 09, 2018 at 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaineD

Today is 6 months since my T told me he's dying. Two months since he died.

I miss him so much.

hugs......

RaineD · Dec 09, 2018 at 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

hugs......

Thank you. Hugs to you too. I think we could all use some hugs.

Winter is hard.

Lemoncake · Dec 09, 2018 at 11:50 AM

1.Registration for stomatology opens on the 11th at 8pm. There's only 20 spots for that date. If I get one it means I only have 9 days left to prep. I wonder if I'm kidding myself trying to do it early as I also have a radiology test on the same day, but in the afternoon at 1pm .

2.13th: I have my pharma test and an extra class at the hospital at 6.30am.

3.Amazon split my order into 2. The first book has already been dispatched but I didn't include a message with each this one will turn up without one- I wonder if you'll get it's from me.

4.1 day, 23 hours, 11 minutes and 44 seconds till session.

Anne2.0 · Dec 09, 2018 at 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaineD

Thank you. Hugs to you too. I think we could all use some hugs.

Winter is hard.

Yes. I am in a cold place, or at least cold to me, as someone who grew up in California. Not cold like Chicago, but still snow and ice and the difficulty that comes along with it.

I think the "happy light" I bought last winter is helping me for the second time in a row. I have a larger one now than these smaller ones, and I use it for more hours than I used to. SAD is a thing.

Amazon.com: Verilux: Light Therapy

Anastasia~ · Dec 09, 2018 at 03:16 PM

Thanks for reminding me about a SAD light. I need to take mine out, if I still have it. I am majorly depressed which means I will be completely unmotivated at work.

junkDNA · Dec 09, 2018 at 03:28 PM

I've driven myself to thinking u hate me and want me to die

I've spent 85% of the time here at my moms asleep

that's ok I guess

at least I have my boby with me

junkDNA · Dec 09, 2018 at 03:29 PM

If u did want me to die would u just tell me. that's all I'd need

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Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVI

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lucozader Most Dangerous Member Since Feb 2017 Location: UK Posts: 2,920 7 7,642 hugs given	Dec 09, 2018 at 10:41 AM #982 You're the only person who could understand. This is so cruel and crazy.
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junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Dec 09, 2018 at 11:27 AM #984 miss u..... __________________
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Anastasia~ Poohbah Member Since Jul 2017 Location: Somewhere Posts: 1,019 6 5,296 hugs given	Dec 09, 2018 at 03:16 PM #989 Thanks for reminding me about a SAD light. I need to take mine out, if I still have it. I am majorly depressed which means I will be completely unmotivated at work. __________________
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junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Dec 09, 2018 at 03:28 PM #990 I've driven myself to thinking u hate me and want me to die I've spent 85% of the time here at my moms asleep that's ok I guess at least I have my boby with me __________________
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junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Dec 09, 2018 at 03:29 PM #991 If u did want me to die would u just tell me. that's all I'd need __________________
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