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winterblues17
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 11:29 AM
  #21
Maybe the time has come!
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 11:35 AM
  #22
(((((lucozader)))))
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 11:50 AM
  #23
(((Luc)))

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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 02:23 PM
  #24
I know you don't understand and in all honesty I don't really expect you to either- because it's all about the Christmas trees and baubles. I'm low and so very sad. Two more years and I'm done with my degree. I still have time to learn, but I'm just finding the clinical aspect so foreign. None of it feels real. I feel like a person I've just become colder and detached. I don't want to do this anymore.

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Last edited by Lemoncake; Oct 24, 2018 at 02:42 PM..
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 02:41 PM
  #25
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 06:54 PM
  #26
Oh great, it's tomorrow night already. I'm thrilled to see you, as always but sick to my stomach about this session. I wish I hadn't put so much into you being able to do this with me, I'm not sure I can do it anymore. I feel so so sick.

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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 07:19 PM
  #27
My lab thing still didn't work. But when I saw that I didn't have colonies I was disappointed and somewhat frustrated/annoyed, but I didn't have the urge to hurt myself. This is unusual. Maybe it's progress?
I don't want to get your hopes up though because I don't want to end up disappointing you if this doesn't last
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 07:40 PM
  #28
Dear T,
Please be on your game tomorrow. At least we already know what we'll be talking about, I guess.

Love you and miss you,
LT
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Trig Oct 24, 2018 at 09:13 PM
  #29
My MI is ruining my life. If I could actually feel my emotions, I would be hysterical. I would hate to be able to cry because that might relieve some of my stress. So, all I have are words to express how what a horrible place I am in, and that I can't get out of. I am so devastated. The only thing that I seem to be able to rely on myself for is that I can't rely on myself for anything. At work, a person completely mocked me, and it wasn't just my perception, it was real. Now I am enraged, devastated, decimated, humiliated and my self-hatred is running amok.


I am feeling some intense rage. I don't even want to describe the imagery that I am imagining.























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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 09:41 PM
  #30
I think I will probably hug you the moment I see you tomorrow, I need it to help calm my anxiety. Otherwise I'll be too anxious to even sit or stand still for a few minutes. Why am I doing this? LOL

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Default Oct 25, 2018 at 12:47 AM
  #31
It’s no longer a slippery slope, I’m already gone. ED trigger
Possible trigger:
I wish this disorder would just get out of my head for once in my life.
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Default Oct 25, 2018 at 05:05 AM
  #32
That email I sent takes vulnerability between us to a new level. I hope you can cope with it.

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Default Oct 25, 2018 at 07:41 AM
  #33
Two weeks till my cardiology appointment. It feels unbearable to wait another two weeks. The last bit is always the hardest.

Not sure which T this is directed at... Both of you, all of you. None of you.
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Default Oct 25, 2018 at 08:03 AM
  #34
I feel SO alone. I have struggled all of my life with having a mental illness in the workplace. I tend to keep on ending up in a place where others are angry with me and I don't see it coming. Unfortunately, my boss has no idea about mental illness. How can I not hate myself, when it is clear that sooner or later will come to the same conclusion about me. I need to keep bringing in money, and yet doing so is killing me slowly and painfully. I am looking for jobs elsewhere. I try to hide myself from everyone else but I can't keep doing this. This also makes me feel a little bit of paranoia. I am so despondent about all of this. I am so devastated about being me. Especially because being consistent at work isn't something, apparently, that I can do. The bosses mischaracterize the motivations of my behavior. I really need my T now, but he's still on vacation and doesn't always have internet. This is my sad life. I want to be able to help other people yet I can't even help myself to stay consistent. At what point can I just give up? I feel so misunderstood, even by myself. At times, I just can't interact with people and I'm stuck inside of me with all of my emotions that nobody knows about.

Last edited by Anastasia~; Oct 25, 2018 at 08:16 AM..
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Default Oct 25, 2018 at 09:10 AM
  #35
I miss you!

I'm sorry I can't leave you alone.
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Default Oct 25, 2018 at 11:02 AM
  #36
I'm going through a little health scare and am afraid to tell you because it's really personal (female related). I'm embarrassed to talk about it.
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Default Oct 25, 2018 at 12:28 PM
  #37
Well, I kinda hoped you'd reply. But you probably feel like you've done enough. You are enough. I love you.
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Default Oct 25, 2018 at 12:36 PM
  #38
I wish I hadn't sent you the email. I feel like a horrible person all around.
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Default Oct 25, 2018 at 12:49 PM
  #39
I can’t believe I don’t get to see you today.
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Default Oct 25, 2018 at 01:12 PM
  #40
I should be with you now. I hope you are thinking of me.
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