Healing from abuse... time schedules - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-25-2018, 09:30 AM #1
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 80,314
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 80,314 (SuperPoster!)

15 yr Member
52.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Healing from abuse... time schedules

The time schedule. How to recover and heal from abusive and unbalanced parental units. (And others in that “family”) How am I to be grateful towards others who also abused me in the name of “helping”. How am I to be grateful towards those who made me into a “bad object” as did my parental units.

I don’t wish to give many details here of the “family” of origin. I can say they treated me far worse than they treated a piece of their furniture. And valued me for less.

As far as being “confronted” in therapy, the senior and very well paid clinician who brutally confronted me (repeatedly) was confronting and judging “coping mechanisms” which were harmless and even positive... to me and my husband. . And which did not harm anyone

Another senior and well paid clinician did the same, but in a very short time. And their words did not “agree” with each other.

Puzzled and sad
A friend of Winnie the Pooh
__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Old 10-25-2018, 09:47 AM #2
octoberful's Avatar
octoberful octoberful is online now
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: -
Posts: 856
octoberful octoberful is online now
Grand Member
octoberful's Avatar
octoberful Object Relations Evangelist
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: -
Posts: 856 (SuperPoster!)

435 hugs
given
Default Re: Healing from abuse... time schedules

I'm sorry bad things happened to you Fuzzy.

The only thing you can do is process the feelings, make sense of it, and move on. I'm not sure where you're at, but moving on can be freeing when you get there. Take care.
octoberful is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-25-2018, 12:40 PM #3
Anonymous59364
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Anonymous59364
Guest
Anonymous59364 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a

Default Re: Healing from abuse... time schedules

Hang in there Fuzzy. There is no timeline.
Besides, bears don't wear wristwatches. Things will come around when they are supposed to.

  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-25-2018, 01:44 PM #4
weaverbeaver weaverbeaver is offline
Member
 
Member Since: May 2018
Location: Another planet
Posts: 447
weaverbeaver weaverbeaver is offline
Member
weaverbeaver has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2018
Location: Another planet
Posts: 447

1 yr Member
2 hugs
given
Default Re: Healing from abuse... time schedules

So sorry you experienced abuse from those in power and your family
I don’t think there is any timeline for healing, it’s not linear!
With my own healing it’s ongoing. In fact it will probably last a lifetime. Take as long as you need, no when can tell you you how long you need to heal from this
weaverbeaver is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-25-2018, 04:27 PM #5
Cheryl27's Avatar
Cheryl27 Cheryl27 is online now
Legendary
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
Posts: 11,270
Cheryl27 Cheryl27 is online now
Legendary
Cheryl27's Avatar
Cheryl27 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
Posts: 11,270 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
980 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Healing from abuse... time schedules

Hugs there is no time line for healing from abuse. I don't even know if we fully recover. No one should be putting a time line on healing it's impossible. Take as long as you need. Gentle hugs
Cheryl27 is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-25-2018, 04:39 PM #6
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 80,314
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 80,314 (SuperPoster!)

15 yr Member
52.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Healing from abuse... time schedules

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheryl27 View Post
Hugs there is no time line for healing from abuse. I don't even know if we fully recover. No one should be putting a time line on healing it's impossible. Take as long as you need. Gentle hugs
I agree... that’s where some people go wrong. Imposing their time limits.
I would say more but don’t .....
Trails off into the forest (for now)
Hugs
__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-25-2018, 05:02 PM #7
satsuma's Avatar
satsuma satsuma is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 872
satsuma satsuma is offline
Grand Member
satsuma's Avatar
satsuma has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 872

2 yr Member
456 hugs
given
Default Re: Healing from abuse... time schedules

I wonder why you ask about how to be grateful. Did the Ts or other professionals suggest you need to work on being grateful? Or is it something you learned in your family?

I find that feeling gratitude can be positive and life-enhancing when it's a genuine feeling and genuinely applied to something good. But I'm not sure it is at all helpful when thinking about an abusive situation. That's normally something which was awful and shouldn't have happened, rather than anything to be grateful for. And the idea that you 'should be grateful ' would then just be another layer of things to be upset about.

No sure if it's a helpful reply. I hope you feel better
satsuma is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-25-2018, 05:19 PM #8
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 80,314
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 80,314 (SuperPoster!)

15 yr Member
52.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Healing from abuse... time schedules

Quote:
Originally Posted by satsuma View Post
I wonder why you ask about how to be grateful. Did the Ts or other professionals suggest you need to work on being grateful? Or is it something you learned in your family?

I find that feeling gratitude can be positive and life-enhancing when it's a genuine feeling and genuinely applied to something good. But I'm not sure it is at all helpful when thinking about an abusive situation. That's normally something which was awful and shouldn't have happened, rather than anything to be grateful for. And the idea that you 'should be grateful ' would then just be another layer of things to be upset about.

No sure if it's a helpful reply. I hope you feel better
I agree, I don’t feel grateful for abuse.. or to abusers that isn’t helpful
__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 10-25-2018, 06:09 PM #9
BlessedCheeseMaker's Avatar
BlessedCheeseMaker BlessedCheeseMaker is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Sep 2016
Location: N/A
Posts: 3,922
BlessedCheeseMaker BlessedCheeseMaker is offline
Grand Magnate
BlessedCheeseMaker's Avatar
BlessedCheeseMaker has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2016
Location: N/A
Posts: 3,922 (SuperPoster!)

2 yr Member
938 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Healing from abuse... time schedules

I hve spent 8 years walking the internal wilderness and i am jow just finding trails leading to the things i need to talk about. How long is a piece of string or my t says as long as it akes. I still want impose limits on myself
__________________
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work (Thomas Edison)
BlessedCheeseMaker is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-25-2018, 06:23 PM #10
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 80,314
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 80,314 (SuperPoster!)

15 yr Member
52.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Healing from abuse... time schedules

It sounds like you have a “good” therapist

I didn’t spot some obvious red flags.. I guess they weren’t all that obvious..until ....

So still lost here
__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:03 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.