Couch 183: Stroopwafel salted caramel.

I'm not entirely sure I want to stay safe which is troubling to me. I came home from therapy, took my daughter to preschool and then came home and napped until it was time to pick her up. Trying to zone out watching tv now.

Something similar happened recently with my therapist. I was being plagued by a particular thought after our previous session. Over the weekend I ended up emailing him that I was struggling with something and we ended up having a phone call but I told him this was an in-person thought. At the next session, I spent probably half the session trying to say this thought out loud and I couldn't. He finally asked me if I could write it down and gave me some paper. I even had trouble writing it down but I finally did. Obviously there was some intense shame behind this thought. I think part of me was afraid he was judging me which is why he decided to self-disclose at this point. It was a pretty personal thing he shared with me. When he started to talk my stomach did a little flip because I knew what he was about to tell me. I wasn't sure what to make of it at first. I felt privileged that he chose to share this with me. I felt 100% reassured that he wasn't judging me, which makes me think he made the right choice to share. I felt a sense of connection because we had been in the same situation. But I also felt a bit confused, thinking was he supposed to tell me that? I seriously considered sharing here what he told me, but I figured some of you would criticize what he shared and I couldn't deal with it at the time. I've come to the conclusion that it was overall a good thing that he shared. Give it some time, LT. You'll figure it out.

(((SheHulk07)))

Trigger for bad pet news:

(((atisketatasket)))

Panda Express Fortune: You are inspirational.

Hmmm. I think not. Kit

Having trouble with visual hallucinations today. I think because I'm more depressed than usual. Sigh. Luckily work is not stressful today but this is bothering me a lot. Kit.

(((Atisketatasket)))

On Saturday, a friend called me a beast because I didn't want to see a "Frozen" show when we go to Disneyland (why? I have the movie, I would rather just ride the rides) and a brat because I have my Christmas cards mailed out. For whatever reason, this bothers me. Being called a beast and a brat hurts my feelings. Kit.

So sorry for the bad news, @@.

I’m so sorry @@

so sorry, @@.

Aww gee, so so sorry ATAT. Hugs and more hugs.

ATAT - sorry to hear about j.c.
It is very hard to lose them.

I don’t exactly know what happened.

I got home, new cat greeted me frantically, then I found him. Vet guessed a seizure of some kind or a heart issue.

Now new cat is huddled in a corner of my closet looking terrified and I am sitting on the floor talking to her as soothingly as possible.

((@@)) I'm so sorry.

Poor new kitty. I'm sorry @@.

All hail Stopdog!

Oh @@. Im so sorry.

No other clues? Gas leak, antifreeze, frayed electrical cord? I hope you guys are both safe.

I'm similar with self-disclosure. A part of me loves it. My T used to rarely give me anything. This has changed over the past year and I now get much more from him although still all well within good boundaries. I don't know if it's a technique, a change of approach or if he just finds himself more relaxed with me and lets things slip a little easier. When he does it I enjoy it. I want to know more but I find myself almost not knowing what to say in response. I don't want to ask questions for fear he will stop giving anything. I want to respond but find I end up just changing the subject which is so not how I would be in the outside world. It's a really weird scenario and confusing.