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Lemoncake
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Lemoncake Adult female human
 
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Default Oct 23, 2018 at 10:34 AM
  #1
Anything you would like to say to your T, big or small - feel free to post it here.

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"Love, like life, flows
Through the heart.
Feel the thrill of the flow
And say nothing."

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Default Oct 23, 2018 at 12:30 PM
  #2
I miss you terribly. And seeing you won't help.
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Default Oct 23, 2018 at 01:03 PM
  #3
The 5th still seems so far away.
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Default Oct 23, 2018 at 02:08 PM
  #4
I was supposed to be feeling super anxious about seeing you - but a good anxiety. Now I'm blasting Avril Lavigne's When You're Gone.

The part where she sings 'The words I need to hear to always get through the day and make it okay, I miss you' make so much sense right now.
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Default Oct 23, 2018 at 02:10 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by imnotbroken View Post
I was supposed to be feeling super anxious about seeing you - but a good anxiety. Now I'm blasting Avril Lavigne's When You're Gone.

The part where she sings 'The words I need to hear to always get through the day and make it okay, I miss you' make so much sense right now.
I love Avril Lavigne.
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Default Oct 23, 2018 at 02:31 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Echos Myron redux View Post
I miss you terribly. And seeing you won't help.
That profoundly states the hardest part of therapy. It is like being homesick while you are home.

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Living things don’t all require/ light in the same degree. Louise Gluck
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Default Oct 23, 2018 at 07:52 PM
  #7
Dear T,
I find that the dynamic between coworkers at work to be a bit odd. It's amazing how people know what other people do/did. I found someone I thought I could vent to but I have decided it's not worth it. It's not like I have to talk negatively, but it sometimes feels good to be able to share my frustrations. I would rather be self-contained and alone although I sometimes enjoy talking to other people. I was reading about Papau New Guinea with my students which is north of where you are/were. It made me think of you on your trip.
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Default Oct 23, 2018 at 07:59 PM
  #8
Dear T,

Should I find a grief therapist? Or should I just stick it out on my own? I think these feelings are probably normal, and I'll probably be okay on my own. But sometimes it hurts so much, and I just want some help. I do feel that grief is a private thing, something I should endure alone.

I love you and miss you.

ETA: I also don't want anyone else to intrude on our relationship, and I feel like any other T, at this point, would be intruding (except your friend, but he can't see me for totally legitimate reasons).
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 12:25 AM
  #9
You'd be proud of me.

I realized why I didn't get any colonies from my transformation, and it's because I made a stupid mistake and now I'm set back a day and I'm not going to be able to leave lab until after midnight tonight.
And it was a silly mistake. I did steps A through D but then accidentally used the stuff from step C to do step E.

But I didn't beat myself up over it like I normally would. I mean, I wrote "So I'm and idiot and [explanation of what the mistake was], ugh" in my lab notebook, but it was in an annoyed way, not a self loathing way.
Honestly I'm a bit relieved to have an explanation. If it still doesn't work and I can't figure out why that means troubleshooting with a million variables.

Still not going to say nice things to myself though... Maybe if I actually have transformants tomorrow.
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 02:03 AM
  #10
Are you sure you should tell me about your other clients? I don't think so. Now I'm jealous.
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 02:44 AM
  #11
I have nothing to say to you today.
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 07:27 AM
  #12
Well I've shown you the pain now, instead of just telling you about it. Do you get it now?
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 07:56 AM
  #13
M. You are a nice man. I f***ing hate you and I just want R.
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 08:00 AM
  #14
I want to see you today, but I feel really anxious about seeing you today.
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 08:00 AM
  #15
I don't want to see you next week. You didn't even do what you said you would do and talk to me about supervisors. How useful actually is this.
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 08:25 AM
  #16
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 10:16 AM
  #17
I heard you call my name last night. That was really you, wasn't it?

And, earlier in the evening when I was at the gym, Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters" randomly started playing on the radio. This song always reminds of you, and although it's not really about death or grief, it's in my "death and grief" playlist that I now listen to constantly. And when the first line of the vocals came on, "so close no matter how far," I felt like it was meant directly for me.

Maybe it's just wishful thinking. But maybe it isn't.
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 10:35 AM
  #18
I want to email you and tell you how the session today went
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 11:07 AM
  #19
I want too much from you. I'll always crave more. More affection, more validation, more kindness, more reassurance...
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Default Oct 24, 2018 at 11:26 AM
  #20
Possible trigger:
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