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Old 12-09-2018, 08:15 PM   #11
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

I thought you said on the phone last week that you would see me at the usual time on the 7 jan and then the new time from the 21/1 onwards. I feel stupid and crying as i am disappointed that i wont see you on the 7th
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Old 12-09-2018, 08:26 PM   #12
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

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Twine I have just like that and attribute the pain to caring. If the pain stops then I will stop caring. Then I reminduself they when the constant pain stops it means I will remember her fondly and be able to laugh and enjoy the memories. Right now memories cause so much pain. I dont know when the pain will stop. I am far from that point.
I am so afraid of losing him.
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Old 12-09-2018, 08:31 PM   #13
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Old 12-09-2018, 08:51 PM   #14
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

It hurts so much...why??? I am crying on the inside.
 
Old 12-09-2018, 08:52 PM   #15
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

T: the snow today helped my mood. too bad work will be open tomorrow, of course. i would love a day off. sigh.

at least i'll see you tuesday.
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Old 12-09-2018, 08:55 PM   #16
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

I sent you an email and asked to see you in the morning. I hope you write me back.
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Old 12-09-2018, 08:57 PM   #17
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

I feel like I am annoying to you. I don't know if I really am annoying to you, or if you just look like that because other things are bothering you. But sometimes I'd rather not talk when you give me that feeling.
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Old 12-09-2018, 09:07 PM   #18
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

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I am so afraid of losing him.
I know it is painful. I am so sorry

What if you write down some of fond memories? When I am really struggling I write an email to I talk about everything just like we did in sessions. I write about my family and my successe, grief, topics we us to discuss and current struggles. Sometimes in writing this stuff I hear her voice telling me what she is to say or whatever. I dont send the emails but I do save them. I also have many of the emails she sent me the last couple of years saved. I cant read them now but when I am in a better place someday I can go back through them.
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Old 12-09-2018, 09:31 PM   #19
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

I am livid that you have been using me to make lots and lots of money and I don't mean from my co-pays. Guess you will be giving out plenty this Christmas to your "friends" and cohorts in crime.
 
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Old 12-09-2018, 10:44 PM   #20
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

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Originally Posted by nottrustin View Post
I know it is painful. I am so sorry

What if you write down some of fond memories? When I am really struggling I write an email to I talk about everything just like we did in sessions. I write about my family and my successe, grief, topics we us to discuss and current struggles. Sometimes in writing this stuff I hear her voice telling me what she is to say or whatever. I dont send the emails but I do save them. I also have many of the emails she sent me the last couple of years saved. I cant read them now but when I am in a better place someday I can go back through them.
Writing emails but not sending is a good idea. I'll give it a try.
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