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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
6 665 hugs
given |
#61
After that massive blow out with mom last night, and knowing you are out of my life in 2 days, I am insanely depressed. You have been such a source of laughs and happiness when I felt so terrible in my family, now I got nothing again. I know my family still hates me and now It feels like you do too. What is the point of my life? I seriously have no idea.
__________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
Anonymous43207, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, SlumberKitty, toomanycats
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Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,301
(SuperPoster!)
11 8,149 hugs
given |
#62
I hope u read that excerpt
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SlumberKitty
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Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,301
(SuperPoster!)
11 8,149 hugs
given |
#63
cuz I be attacking u with my beta elements ALL DAY
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Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Dec 2015
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,190
(SuperPoster!)
8 10.5k hugs
given |
#64
Dear T,
Some random person online called me a terrible name last week and I haven't been functioning the same since. I know I should just blow it off but that's easier said than done. Help! -Butterfly (The person wasn't from Psych Central) |
Anonymous43207, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,691
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#65
I'm happy but stupidly tired.
6 days till my exam, and I have to be at the hospital at 6.30am tomorrow. p.s Quote:
__________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,789
12 3,116 hugs
given |
#66
Thank you for that little spike of anxiety, and the prompt resolution. Glad that we will meet tomorrow after all.
__________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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nottrustin
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 2,157
6 1,833 hugs
given |
#67
I don't know what to do with the fallout from that session when it inevitably hits, since I am no longer allowing myself to manage my emotions with alcohol.
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LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 1,009
6 2,354 hugs
given |
#68
That trigger that we've talked about came up again. Maybe I watched this video because I wanted to trigger myself. I already know full well that he's a trigger, especially if he's angry or arguing. It worked.
I felt shaken up, angry, and unsafe. I wanted to cry tears of frustration. Everyone else is turning it into memes. Do you know what a meme is? I feel stupid every time I bring this trigger up. On some level it's validating though. He's been a trigger since long before I started seeing you, and I know I'm not making my reaction up. Do you think it's a stupid trigger? Do you believe me that it's a trigger and I'm not just making it up or exaggerating? |
Echos Myron redux, SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 2,157
6 1,833 hugs
given |
#69
I need you.
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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circlesincircles
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
10 375 hugs
given |
#70
T why does it seem so difficult this time around? I know I use to question what you said but never said anything. Eventually it would make sense and I would realize you never meant what I initially thought. Except our last email exchange, where we never had the chance to clear it up. I realized I was doing this before your accident but it was to late and I was unable to see that week.... then your accident happened to days later. I am sorry for not trusting you.
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,691
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#71
I will not email.
I will not email. I will not email. Of course you know the books are from me, even if they don't have a note attached to them and I don't need to email to tell you so.... __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." Last edited by Lemoncake; Dec 12, 2018 at 02:10 PM.. |
LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#72
Dear T. I'm having a harder time not SH-ing. Not sure I'm gonna make it to the end of the year after all. Wish I had former T. I would have been able to get some support from her in between sessions. Kit
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LabRat27, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, MRT6211
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Member
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 379
6 62 hugs
given |
#73
I can only depend on myself so it seems!!! What a load of BS, I was right all along
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LabRat27, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,730
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
given |
#74
Dear T,
I'd intended to avoid a second session this week, but when I'm crying in public because a particular song comes on that I associate with ex-MC, I'm clearly not OK. So hope you have something available. Especially as my plans with my dad tomorrow fell through (which is part of why I switched around the schedule to begin with...). And I think I've gotten really good at scheduling emails that don't include any extraneous info. Love, LT |
Lemoncake, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,691
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#75
I still haven't emailed but I feel like you're going to feel disappointed with my gift this year. Last year I spent what I would have for my own father, this year I don't feel like I have to try so hard to be the best version of myself.
__________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 2,157
6 1,833 hugs
given |
#76
You are the most intuitive person I have ever met. Moments like those don't do much to counteract the old idealising transference you know!
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Anonymous43207, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Member
Member Since Dec 2016
Location: New York
Posts: 357
7 208 hugs
given |
#77
T,
You may think that ignoring me/my pleas for help, because I’m self-destructing, is good for me in some weird way. I know you don’t want to encourage the behavior, but I still NEED you right now, and you have failed me again. We had a crap session yesterday, you acknowledged that via email, and you told me to let you know how the week goes. Then I freaking send you 4 emails pleading for help in a 24 hour period. I told you I needed you to call me. You ALWAYS call me, or at least email back. You did nothing for me. You left me on my own and I’m in crisis and I don’t think I can ever trust you again. I don’t want to trust you again. You’ve confirmed for me that people are unreliable and that I should never depend on anyone, because all they will do is hurt me. Congratulations. I’m so angry at you that I’m shaking. I never even want to see you again. |
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,730
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
given |
#78
Dear T,
Thanks--I really appreciate that you don't have a fully packed schedule. Your flexibility and openness for extra sessions means a lot. Even though this is really more of a normal second session, where last Friday was the extra one. I'm just trying to get myself in at least a kind of OK place before the holidays, and we have limited time to do that. (I mean, I know you're available some of the time that week, but I seriously doubt you'll be in on Christmas Eve, even if maybe you are Jewish--not sure if your wife also is, as ex-MC's wasn't). Love, LT |
atisketatasket, SlumberKitty
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,730
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
given |
#79
Dear T,
Also I wish you were more into music. Because at times, it's hard for me to put into words what I'm feeling. And I wish I could play a song for you and be like, "This, this is how I feel!" But would you get it? Or would you just be totally puzzled? I suppose I could ask you...I mean, it's not like I haven't puzzled you with my words before, why not music? Love, LT |
SlumberKitty
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Most Dangerous
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,920
7 7,642 hugs
given |
#80
You don't know what to do with me.
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Echos Myron redux, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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